|
Author
|
Topic: Is monogomy natural?
|
Xodian
Moderator Posts: 1699
From: Canada
Registered: Dec 2006
|
posted May 29, 2007 05:28 PM
 
quote:
Xodian, I was young once, and I'll tell you from experience, that most woman will go along with the idea, but will still have hopes of winning you over, they deceive themselves!
No I quite understand what you're saying and well the person in question has to be ready to move on if things don't go quite as planned. That is why I always emphisize self-confidence. Come on girls... you know you aren't that weak-hearted; You know you can move on. MNF: Lol! Offcourse that is what we ment. I doubt anyone here is thinking of making a harem any time soon... I hope. IP: Logged |
Azalaksh
Knowflake Posts: 6485
From: New Brighton, MN, USA
Registered: Nov 2004
|
posted May 29, 2007 05:54 PM
TMNF, you're back!!! How's that fella of yours (was he a Sag?)?? quote:
For humans I reckon it's natural to stay with one person at a time, but not necessarily for the rest of your life.
That's my way  I believe in Serial Monogamy  IP: Logged |
cat71
Knowflake Posts: 926
From: Neverland...
Registered: May 2002
|
posted May 29, 2007 06:12 PM
Yeah MNF I get that - you could be seeing someone in a monogomous relationship for a period of time and realise it's not working out and move on - perhaps like xodian said: there's a difference between sleeping around and dating. Perhaps it's all in the perception of what each thing is.
Like are we talking about being faithful to one person in a married/committed relationship for the rest of your life? I think so, but how do you find that person - dating? Sleeping around? Playing cards on the deck with a chaperone close by? I mean, yeah, I'm an old fashioned girl, don't sleep around, but if a girl and guy are attracted to each other and date to 'see how it goes', with both being honest about their intentions is that wrong?
Probably I'm being too idealistic as most people are not able to be completely honest about what it is they are doing e.g. how many guys/girls do you know who told you at the start "I'm really attracted to you, but I don't want to marry you, just have sex a few times and then walk away, I won't call you and I won't send you christmas or birthday cards - is that cool with you?" - Being realistic I don't think that happens too often
Ok, stopping now, rambling LOLZala - Serial monogamy: good one  IP: Logged |
Xodian
Moderator Posts: 1699
From: Canada
Registered: Dec 2006
|
posted May 29, 2007 06:22 PM
Offcourse we are gonna get broken hearts from time to time; No one is arguing that it will not happen. But then again... the same thing happens in long-term relationships from time to time and the devistation left by such a break-up is usually more severe. With the idea of open relationship however, you both get into a relationship knowing that you have agreed to the fact that there is a possibility that it will not last and that you will let your partner move on without any emotional backlashes.And on sex... If the partners is question have decided on the fact that its gonna be a short term relationship, the decision to have sex is now soley their own decision. If they want to have sex while being in a short-term relationship; knowing full-well that the prospects of it going long-term may not be there; then I say let them (offcourse we are assuming they do it responsibly; I.e. protection, etc.) After all... sex it just another expression of love  . IP: Logged |
ListensToTrees
Knowflake Posts: 3844
From: Infinity
Registered: Jul 2005
|
posted May 30, 2007 03:43 AM
But, the only way no feelings could be hurt is that the feelings were MUTUALLY casual ones. This is often not the case. It is a gamble on the human heart.Hehe- guess what film I watched last night? Vanilla Sky! (Brilliant but a bit scary/ 'trippy'.....excellent story line!) IP: Logged |
ListensToTrees
Knowflake Posts: 3844
From: Infinity
Registered: Jul 2005
|
posted May 30, 2007 03:45 AM
Yeah, folks.... a good film to watch to sum up the ideas behind this topic would beVANILLA SKY!
Watch it!
IP: Logged |
ListensToTrees
Knowflake Posts: 3844
From: Infinity
Registered: Jul 2005
|
posted May 30, 2007 05:51 AM
Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman?
( Bryan Adams ) To really love a woman,
To understand her,
You've got to know her deep inside ...
Hear every thought,
See every dream,
And give her wings when she wants to fly.
Then when you find yourself lying helpless in her arms ...
You know you really love a woman When you love a woman,
You tell her that she's really wanted.
When you love a woman,
You tell her that she's the one.
She needs somebody, to tell her that it's gonna last forever.
So tell me have you ever really ... really, really ever loved a woman? To really love a woman,
Let her hold you,
Till you know how she needs to be touched.
You've got to breathe her, really taste her,
Till you can feel her in your blood.
And when you see your unborn children in her eyes ...
You know you really love a woman. When you love a woman,
You tell her that she's really wanted.
When you love a woman,
You tell her that she's the one.
She needs somebody, to tell her that it's gonna last forever.
So tell me have you ever really ... really, really ever loved a woman? You've got to give her some faith,
Hold her tight, a little tenderness.
You've got to treat her right.
She will be there for you taking good care of you ...
You really gotta love your woman. And when you find yourself lying helpless in her arms,
You know you really love a woman. When you love a woman,
You tell her that she's really wanted.
When you love a woman,
You tell her that she's the one.
She needs somebody, to tell her that it's gonna last forever.
So tell me have you ever really ... really, really ever loved a woman?
So tell me have you ever really ... really, really ever loved a woman? So tell me have you ever really ... really, really ever loved a woman? IP: Logged |
Xodian
Moderator Posts: 1699
From: Canada
Registered: Dec 2006
|
posted May 30, 2007 09:42 AM
quote:
It is a gamble on the human heart.
But that's the beauty of a short term relationship. Since the general preception dictates that it will be short term, both partners usually try to enjoy the moment as much as they can. Its so liberating and so fullfilling... even though its not ment to last. As William Blake said: "To see a world in a grain of sand,
And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
And eternity in an hour." Even though its not ment to last, a short term relationship can be such a life-altering learning experience (and I mean it in a positive way .) IP: Logged |
Dulce Luna
Knowflake Posts: 4598
From: The Asylum
Registered: Mar 2006
|
posted May 30, 2007 10:43 AM
quote:
You're jumping to conclusions wayyy too fast . I am assuming you haven't had much experience with casual dating have you? Lol! As much as people would like to believe that casual dating = those one min. dating cafes, they are sadly mistaken. Casual dating usually is an icebreaker; A chance to get to know one another a bit more; It doesn't mean getting laid at the end of the night. The whole idea of a casual date is to get comfortable around the person and well isn't that what you're arguing for?
Well of course I don't have experience with it.....I've never done it. I know it doesn't always mean gettin' some in the end but for me, it just implies something short-term and light; something I don't normally do in the context of a "dating-relationship-thingy". For me, Its either a one-time thing (like say your on vacation and you meet someone you know you'll never see again)....or a very long time thing. Yeah, I'm pretty paradoxal in this area; my venus is in gemini and my moon happens to be the ruler of my 7th; which is place in virgo/8th house. Again, its just my own opinion on it, I know it works for other people,just not me. On polygamy: I come from a culture that once practically endorsed it until the colonials took over/the spread of Christianity. In fact, this is probably the one practice I thank the Portuguese gov't for trying to get rid of. I abhor it, and mainly because of the sexist aspect involved. On monogamy again: I'm one of those people who believes it is possible to achieve life-long (happy) monogamy.....unfortunately its rare these days. You obviously have to find the right person.
IP: Logged |
Dulce Luna
Knowflake Posts: 4598
From: The Asylum
Registered: Mar 2006
|
posted May 30, 2007 10:48 AM
dpIP: Logged |
ListensToTrees
Knowflake Posts: 3844
From: Infinity
Registered: Jul 2005
|
posted May 30, 2007 11:16 AM
Xodian, I do see your point, and I do agree with what you are saying.....to a certain point. But look at what happened in Vanilla Sky. David Aimes (Tom Cruise) saw Juliana (Cameron Diaz) as a casual bit of fun....but she was deeply, deeply in love with him.....OUCH. (Good film actually- very unpredictable plot/ deep story line).Dulce Luna- we are passionate, emotional ladies!
Hooray! IP: Logged |
ListensToTrees
Knowflake Posts: 3844
From: Infinity
Registered: Jul 2005
|
posted May 30, 2007 11:19 AM
And we are slaves to the Moon and the tides! Especially with Moon conjunct Pluto! IP: Logged |
The Mutable Night Force
Knowflake Posts: 1451
From: England
Registered: Dec 2004
|
posted May 30, 2007 11:22 AM
I think quite a few people do intend to 100% monogomous or celebate! Scary... Unnatural. Unless you're a penguin or something. I heard it said once that humans are meant to be polygomous... but maybe that was before we developed deeper emotions??Zala- Heya, yeah he's a Sag! And okay... as far as I know! Well, I'm seeing him later, I'll ask! Amen to Serial Monogamy Oh I'm sure he wouldn't like that... lol. cat71- Yeah, dating or being occaisionally monogomous isn't sleeping around. Ok, if you take this too literally the only way you're not monogomous is by having threesomes all the time but more realistically, as long as you end one relationship before starting another you can still be monogomous right? IP: Logged |
Dulce Luna
Knowflake Posts: 4598
From: The Asylum
Registered: Mar 2006
|
posted May 30, 2007 11:25 AM
quote:
Dulce Luna- we are passionate, emotional ladies!
Hooray!
I'll drink to that!  P.S. I have moon sextile pluto MutableNightForce: How ya doin? Long time no see. IP: Logged |
Xodian
Moderator Posts: 1699
From: Canada
Registered: Dec 2006
|
posted May 30, 2007 12:51 PM
quote:
David Aimes (Tom Cruise) saw Juliana (Cameron Diaz) as a casual bit of fun....but she was deeply, deeply in love with him.....OUCH. (Good film actually- very unpredictable plot/ deep story line).
Yep seen the movie and well the bounderies were dictated from the start. Both partners need to be totally clear that the relaionship in question isn't going to be perminent and that one will allow the other to move on without any backlashes. I am not gonna say that it will not hurt... It will hurt in some cases... However, if you accepted comming into a short-term relationship then you should know that breakup is a possibility. Don't make it worse upon yourself and your partner by not letting go. IP: Logged |
ListensToTrees
Knowflake Posts: 3844
From: Infinity
Registered: Jul 2005
|
posted May 30, 2007 01:02 PM
I think sex forms a powerful bond, good sex. If one of the people in a sexual relationship isn't really into the other that much- except for their body- but, on the other hand, the other person in question is actually VERY into that person's mind, body and soul....then, OUCH.....to be with them in such a deep and intimate way, only to be rejected suddenly one day....'tis enough to break anyone's heart, drive them to insanity temporarily; it is like the death of the soul when this happens.
"Now my foolish boat is leaning, broken love lost on your rocks.
For you sang, "Touch me not, touch me not, come back tomorrow."
Oh my heart, oh my heart shies from the sorrow.
I'm as puzzled as a newborn child.
I'm as riddled as the tide.
Should I stand amid the breakers?
Or shall I lie with death my bride?
Hear me sing: "Swim to me, swim to me, let me enfold you."
"Here I am. Here I am, waiting to hold you." IP: Logged |
miss_muffet
Knowflake Posts: 832
From:
Registered: Mar 2004
|
posted May 30, 2007 03:00 PM
Hmmm... Is Monogamy Natural? No. Monogamy is a word invented by people who just wants to be civilized. The same people who invented Marriage and Divorce. Almost like... hey, you want to sleep with other people, get a piece of paper (license) so you can do that with peace of mind! What is Monogamy? I am sorry but I can't even define it. When you fall in love for the first time... Does that mean that you are then bound to that one person and MUST always be with that one guy to be monogamous? Because by the truest definition of the word, noone is really monogamous... unless you have only been with ONE person your whole life and you do not even get turned on by anything else othar than that person. So really, what we all have been practicing is nothing more than just "Serial Monogamy". 
IP: Logged |
aqua inferno
Knowflake Posts: 1106
From: hopping about Europe
Registered: Oct 2006
|
posted May 30, 2007 03:20 PM
quote:
Like Aqua Inferno said, it depends on the person. Some people like it, some people don't.
I love you  don't think I've ever disagreed with your view point! even your humour is similar to mine you must have loads of virgo, sag or aries in your chart!
quote:
Lol! Offcourse that is what we ment. I doubt anyone here is thinking of making a harem any time soon... I hope.
 IP: Logged |
InLoveWithLife
Knowflake Posts: 1530
From: Wonderland
Registered: Aug 2006
|
posted May 30, 2007 04:53 PM
I think it is not. I don't think there is just one person out there for me. I feel there are many 'soulmates' that God has made for me and strewn them about. That I'll meet them when the time is right, and move on when the time is right. I feel there is a purpose to every relationship, something to learn, some karma to pay...they are very important experiences in molding our personality, our thought processes, and to bring out the best or the worst in us. The ideal case would be when both the individuals in the relationship realize at the same time when its over. But that rarely happens. But when its over, it IS over. Love can't be forced. And without love, the word monogamy to me has no meaning. And of course, like many others here, I feel that you can love only one person at a time. IP: Logged |
ListensToTrees
Knowflake Posts: 3844
From: Infinity
Registered: Jul 2005
|
posted May 30, 2007 05:35 PM
I agree, serial monogamy, if things don't work out. One person at a time. IP: Logged |
ListensToTrees
Knowflake Posts: 3844
From: Infinity
Registered: Jul 2005
|
posted May 30, 2007 06:40 PM
'The principles of lust
are burned in your mind-
Do what you want
do it
Until you find-
Love'-Enigma IP: Logged |
Dulce Luna
Knowflake Posts: 4598
From: The Asylum
Registered: Mar 2006
|
posted May 30, 2007 07:41 PM
Aqua Inferno,
quote:
love you don't think I've ever disagreed with your view point! even your humour is similar to mine you must have loads of virgo, sag or aries in your chart!
We have the same moon and mars, remember? But thanx for luv, its much appreciated. 
Anyways, his is the one area where my idealistic tendencies cme out:marraige. If I ever get married, it HAS to be for life. Otherwise I'll never marry if I knew I'd never have one that was "till death do us part". I'd settle fpr a long term proposition though...
IP: Logged |
Dulce Luna
Knowflake Posts: 4598
From: The Asylum
Registered: Mar 2006
|
posted May 30, 2007 07:44 PM
Listenstotrees,Funny, I was just at Brook's Pharmacy when I hear that song by Bryan Adams ("Have you ever really Loved a Woman) and I just had to STOP and listen; I love that song!  IP: Logged |
ListensToTrees
Knowflake Posts: 3844
From: Infinity
Registered: Jul 2005
|
posted May 31, 2007 04:05 AM
Coincidences, coincidences! 
 Have you seen that film, 'The Celestine Prophecy'? IP: Logged |
The Mutable Night Force
Knowflake Posts: 1451
From: England
Registered: Dec 2004
|
posted May 31, 2007 05:41 AM
Dulce Luna- Heya. Yeah I'm doing okay How are you? Anything interesting happened in LindaLand in the last few months?IP: Logged |
Lindaland
UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! 
