posted May 29, 2007 12:57 AM         

For women – far more than for men- the decision to pursue an interest is reconsidered repeatedly and often abandoned. To realize their dreams, women need to understand why they are willing to walk away from them.

Summary

• Ambition is a dirty word! For many women, it necessarily implies egotism, selfishness, self-aggrandizement, or the manipulative use of others for one's own ends.

Men do not talk this way; they consider ambition as a necessary and desirable part of their lives.

• In childhood, ambition is perceived in the same way by children of both sexes : a combination of mastery of a special skill, and recognition: attention from an appreciative audience. “Recognition is one of the motivational engines that drives any type of skill”

• Women who fear ambition may have experienced lack of recognition or even negative feedback about their ambitions during childhood and this leads them to create negative core beliefs about their dreams.

• Studies have shown that the educational system, from pre-school onwards, is one of the greatest sources of the differential in attention and recognition received by girls and boys. This differential tends to increase dramatically through the system, through college, university and culminating in the professional arena.

• Without earned affirmation, long-term learning and performance are rarely achieved. Ambitions are both the product of, and later on, the source of affirmation.

• There is no evidence that the desires to acquire skills and to receive affirmations for accomplishments are less present in women than in men . But there is evidence that women will too frequently seek to deflect attention from themselves.

• It may be tempting to conclude that women defer to because they don't need or want recognition, but this belief has not held up in the extensive research on gender that has been conducted since the 1970's.

• Research suggests that deferring behaviour varies according to social context. In all female contexts, such as sports, all-girl academic settings or in professions such as modelling, women openly seek and compete for affirmation. But they change their behaviours when it comes to competing directly with men.

• The reason for this change in behaviour (and a greater barrier than lack of access to training) could be their own femininity . In order to be seen as feminine they must provide or relinquish resources, including recognition, to others – particularly men.

• This expectation is so deeply rooted in cultural ideals of femininity that it is largely unconscious , but has been brought to light by a revised version of the 1970's Stanford University Bem Sex Role Inventory in which the two main tenets of femininity emerge as 1. Existing only in the context of a relationship and 2. The obligation to provide something for the other person.

• Near the top of the list of resources that women are expected to provide is recognition, personal recognition for their husbands and to relinquish recognition in the work sphere to the men with whom they work.

• When women compete for recognition, their femininity is routinely assailed . They are caricatured as asexual or promiscuous and seductive, their sexuality is ‘wrong'.

• Contemporary women have greater opportunities for forming and pursuing their own goals now than at any other time in history. But doing so is socially condoned only if they have first satisfied the needs of all their family members. If this requirement isn't met, women's ambitions as well as their femininity will be called into question.

• Institutional changes and cultural norms lag behind social realties. Lack of adequate social support, ongoing career opportunities and financial protection for women who provide childcare is the contemporary phase of women's long struggle for equal rights.

Feel the fear and do it anyway

What can be done?

Organize
Women must see themselves as a political constituency with the support of mothers in the workforce as well as those at home as a goal. Women can only share the satisfaction that ambitions provide when they are confident that their children are well cared for.

Imagine the future
Women in today's society have too many accepted roles. Responsibility falls on individual women to carve out a life for herself with adequate meaning and satisfaction. Women must actively create and assert their values, priorities and identity because no one role is unquestioningly accepted in our society.

Get recognition from talent, skill and work
Recognition that can be earned rather than ascribed provides more sustaining affirmation. Women should “formulate life plans that include potential for receiving earned recognition” If women have no opportunities for appropriate support and recognition, they should acknowledge this and seek change.

Promote yourself
In itself, high calibre work is unlikely to produce proper recognition for accomplishments. Women should pursue advantageous connections and develop relationships with people who have the power to advance their work, even if this runs contrary to classic ideals of femininity.

Realize that ambition is never behind us.
Opportunities are ongoing and continually reshape our ambitions and the effort we put into them. Mentors, opportunities for learning new skills, promotions, collegial support, institutional recognition and broad cultural trends all contribute. It's never too late.

posted May 31, 2007 05:49 PM         

When you give the boys a real run for their money in the workplace, watch how quickly they start rumors that your a "lezbo", or that your successes came about because you're "doing" somebody higher up.