posted June 14, 2007 01:46 AM         

Randall hopefully will read the link of this thread and make his decision as to close the thread or not.

However, as for myself, I am done with both the thread and HSC. There are some people who, unfortunately are just a write off in my life. It does not mean that I do not have compassion for HSC or anyone else. It just means that my choice is not to let toxic people whom I know I cannot help effect me in any way.

So I guess I am following Juni's advice and letting HSC sleep. Should the day come when, like Lotus, he changes his methods of discussion and delivery of his message, and does not think of every disagreement with his theories or what he sees as truth or someone giving a different point of view as criticism and a personal attack on him, I would love to discuss with him again. But for now I want no part of him.

posted June 14, 2007 03:22 AM         

This thread is quite the explosion.

What a mess! I go away for one week and look at all the ruckus. I can't turn my back on you people for a second. Looks like some very deep stuff being said, too bad I have no time to contribute.

Taurus/scorpio diarrhea death. Take a breather people. Life is about togetherness, love, enjoying simple pleasures. I thought I was going to lose my mom last week, she had an abnormal mammogram, possible cancer, after much praying she turned out ok. SOmething like that will really show you what's important in life. Online bickering is not it. Get outside and be with the universe and god's creatures. Not sequestering, just suggesting a little zoom out.

posted June 14, 2007 07:01 AM         

quote:

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'Zala,
I didnt realize you wanted those thoughts and sentiments of yours kept secret. They didnt strike me as especially sensitive or private, but, now that you mention it, i can see how they might not go over well with your new "friends".
"when you publicly splashed "I am a Genius" all over the boards"
Why are you doing this, 'Zala???
Please, I beg you or anyone to find a single instance of this and post it.
I dare you to find a single instance where i referred to myself as a genius.
Come on, this is your chance to really prove me wrong.
You are respected by a lot of people here, 'Zala,
they will believe you if you say something like this,
and that is not fair, because is it untruth.
I still have some respect for you,
so, i do not think you are lying,
but i think you bought into something prematurely.
Please, for yourself and for me, prove this accusation.
Your excuse for not speaking out against other's unrelenting viciousness is "I'm not a moderator and you can take care of yourself", but if I am uncompromising in my point of view, then you absolutely must join the gathering crowd in tar and feathering me for it. Not sure i see your logic.
What happened to you? Seriously.

---

As for the “I am a Genius” threads – I was positive I had seen such a thread, but I can’t find it after googling, so I may be wrong about the existence of such a thread. Perhaps it was just that sentiment scattered over other threads during that time period. I fully affirm that I may be wrong on that one. Does that please you and relieve you, so that you can continue to be condescending?? Why do I have to prove somebody right and somebody wrong?? Can’t we just have our own perceptions and opinions and NO ONE be “right” or “wrong”?? Or IS it some kind of Universal Truth that in order for there to be “right” there HAS to be “wrong”?? Please don’t answer that – it’s just my musing out loud. Will you allow that or must you respond and batter me with more of THE Truth (ie YOUR Truth)??

I find myself wondering what you think I have prematurely bought into, but it doesn’t really matter. Do you think my values are so susceptible to manipulation by others?? I have a lot of things to do today IRL that don’t include dwelling or fretting on whether you (or anyone) still has some respect for me.

I do want to address what you see as “unrelenting viciousness”. There were hard and unkind words in this thread. But if that is all the viciousness you ever meet up with in the world (and apparently you are quite innocent about the depths of viciousness that the human spirit can unleash) then you should count your lucky stars. I did not necessarily agree with some of the harsh things written here, but I understand the strong feelings behind them – and I will not restrain strong feelings in others and tell them to “Be Good now”. If not expressed, they fester and eat one alive. Are you that thin-skinned, HSC?? You have asked for Truth here, and by God you got ours…..

posted June 14, 2007 08:02 AM         

quote:

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My “new” friends were friends long before I wrote to you They understand me, they love and respect the person I am. I have nothing to fear from them as backlash or disapproval of what I wrote to you as emotional support and congratulations on your self-explorations.

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posted June 14, 2007 08:25 AM         

quote:

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Fayte, I just read your posts.

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quote:

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I was most afraid of losing you.

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quote:

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You know how much your friendship means and has meant to me. Your understanding....I don't know what to say. I'm emotional and think I should exit before I make more of a fool of myself.

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quote:

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I love you dearly.

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posted June 14, 2007 08:55 AM         

'Zala,

quote:

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I fully affirm that I may be wrong on that one.

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Thank you for acknowledging your hasty charge.

quote:

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Does that please you and relieve you, so that you can continue to be condescending?? Why do I have to prove somebody right and somebody wrong??

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You don't have to do anything, 'Zala. If you think it is okay to speak untruths at my expense, you go right ahead. Please, try to forgive me for holding you accountable.

Yes, we do disagree about about emails. I dont see why communication in email ought to be any more private than any other form of communication. Should we never repeat anything we have heard outside the walls of LL? I repeated beautiful, kind, encouraging sentiments from you, and this is a breach of trust??? But fayte and you and others are bringing up the most personal things from my life, which I have shared here in the past (months or years in the past), because of my pain, and my trusting nature, and my desire to be fully open. Extremely sensitive personal things I have shared, which bear no relevence to this discussion, are being brought into it and twisted to suit others' ends. But that is no betrayal of trust, eh?

quote:

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Are you that thin-skinned, HSC??

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LOL. Yes, I am. I have feelings, too. Sorry, I cannot just respond with venom, and get it out of me that way. I guess you would see that as a stronger response that asking people not to speak vicious words. You are so proud of your defense of others' right to speak in anger, but if I say anything half as bad, you are positively indignant, aren't you? I will leave that with you to reconcile for yourself. Seems you've already distorted your reason to accomodate this paradox.

Lia,

I expected more from you.
Thanks for sobering me up.

posted June 14, 2007 08:57 AM         

Lia has not kept your secret.

I know.

And I have no problem with that, btw.

Never have.

posted June 14, 2007 09:08 AM         

quote:

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But fayte and you and others are bringing up the most personal things from my life, which I have shared here in the past (months or years in the past), because of my pain, and my trusting nature, and my desire to be fully open. Extremely sensitive personal things I have shared, which bear no relevence to this discussion, are being brought into it and twisted to suit others' ends. But that is no betrayal of trust, eh?

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posted June 14, 2007 09:19 AM         

quote:

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So tell me HSC, how did any of them breach your trust by bringing up things that you decided to share on a Public message board as if it were your own blog. I didn't know that it was of any comparision to sharing people's personal correspondence.

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posted June 14, 2007 09:32 AM         

The essential point is that the material I shared was sensitive and was used against me, and what 'Zala shared was neither sentitive nor used against her. To prove that this is the essential point, it is enough to consider that, if I had said these things to someone in private, and they had then been thrown in my face, and used to "explain" my behaviors, in a mean-spirited way, this would be absolutely unacceptable, even if it was not done publicly, but only between myself and the other person. Just because someone shares personal information with you does not mean you have the right to make this kind of sick use of it. Or do you suppose I would be justified in bringing up some of the more delicate things others here have shared from their personal lives and childhoods, to explain their present madness? Lucky for them, I am not the type.

hsc
Chart-ruling Saturn in Virgo (8th house),
Sextile Sun/Venus/MC/Uranus in Scorpio

(I dont miss much myself, Dulce. The precision and attention to detail I show in expressing myself is solid evidence of that.)

posted June 14, 2007 09:42 AM         

is it really that IMPORTANT...

posted June 14, 2007 09:53 AM         

please stop before you regret your public nosedive. if not with the preachy stuff, fine.. that's forgiveable.. but when you continually breech trust, well... you risk a meltdown of integrity and friendships.

posted June 14, 2007 09:55 AM         

Anyways, its like this:

things shared on a public forum=its up for grabs, anyone can use it.

things shared by in private (by email)=things that should stay private.

While I wasn't too keen on digging up stuff in the first place either, and you say that you publicly showing Zala's emails was harmless but apparently she didn't see it that way. And IMO, it was another passive aggressive attack against her by breaching her trust and making her look like she condones your behavior when she really does not. But of course, you'll deny it. And anyways, the people who've dug up things from the past are also the same people you've betrayed in the past after they were so nice to you; so it was warranted by your past and present behavior....their anger is understandable.

posted June 14, 2007 10:09 AM         

That puzzles me, but is a definite trend, and from more than just one side.

Not really any of my business whatsoever, just an observation.

This is now ever-decreasing circles with no resolution in sight. It seems relationships are on the brink when perhaps a pause might be the best course of action on all sides.

I think everyone should ask themselves what this continued discussion is to achieve and whether that is likely enough to actually happen to warrant a continuation.

posted June 14, 2007 10:11 AM         

I share things with my husband because I intimately trust him. If he were to betray that trust, I don't know what I would think, but I know I would be devastated and feel that something important was gone.

Trust and integrity are larger than a few words.. they make up a novel of our character.
When the chips are down, you can count on Lia, I know you feel that.. there is an understandable circumstance, I feel it in my radar.
however, I am afraid hsc, that my radar senses some major integrity pieces missing, in accountability and action.
That behaviour is telling and isn't something you can just fix.
Again.. a word of caution.

posted June 14, 2007 10:19 AM         

You made comments saying that you are glad you have trusted your personal information with Lia and not someone like me. I merely told the truth, than Lia has indeed disclosed your secret to me, and that I have disclosed it to no one. Do what you want with that information. I'm not trying to break you two up, or put a wedge of truth between you. And I'm not blackmailing you. I said I would never tell. And I won't, no matter how low you sink.

posted June 14, 2007 10:22 AM         

You dont know the difference between "their" and "they're" or "your" and "you're". Somehow I think your credentials for determining who is more Virgoan leave something to be desired.