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Author
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Topic: I need some help with getting over an obsession
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koko
Knowflake Posts: 4
From:
Registered: Jun 2007
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posted June 14, 2007 06:43 PM
 
Hi,
first of all I just want to mention that English isn't my first language and I may have some mistakes, sorry about that.Well let me tell u my story shortly. Last year we got a new English teacher, at first everything was pretty much ok, but then it all went not ok. She was nasty to me and she behaved in a repulsive matter to me. She made jokes about me in front of everyone and even if she doesn't know it she hurt me.
Well now as the year over, if found out that she has a blog on the internet. So as I dislike her so much I commented in one of her posts that "I wonder why no one comments on her boring posts" (she don't get much comments...). And then she answered me that If I find her posts so boring why am reading them and coming back for more, so I answered her that she don't need to give other people advices when she is a repulsive person her self. Well until lately she didn't know that the anonymous that comments on her blog and tell her that she is a bad person, actually knows her, but in my last comment I mentioned that I met her and I know what I'm talking about when I say she is a repulsive human being. By the way she deleted that comment. My problem is that during all the time this thing happened, I was obsessed with waiting to see her response and I kept checking to see if she answered me already on her blog, and I feel like I have to get over this thing, because it really bother me that I'm so anxious about her answering me. Can u please give me an advice of how to end this stupid obsession?! yours, koko.
IP: Logged |
lalalinda
Moderator Posts: 3291
From: nevada
Registered: Jun 2005
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posted June 14, 2007 09:50 PM
ask yourself if she is important in your life?
no? it's gone, let it go  Hello and Welcome koko  IP: Logged |
Solane Star
Knowflake Posts: 5378
From: Ontario, Canada
Registered: Jun 2005
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posted June 15, 2007 12:00 AM
WELCOME KOKO!!!!Not one to pass much advice, but give GOOD SMILE'S!!! IP: Logged |
koko
Knowflake Posts: 4
From:
Registered: Jun 2007
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posted June 15, 2007 03:24 AM
She isn't an important part of my life. But still, even thrughout the year when she was mean to me, she gave me a sord of attention, even if it was bad, and I liked the attention she gave me and for some reason I even wanted to impress her, and get her to like me. And that's so weird to me, considering the fact that I'm suppose to hate her and because I'm pretty sure she don't like me.
So now what's happened is that because the year ended, and I wont see her anymore, I kind of went looking for her attention in her blog. And while commenting, I become obsessive about it =( and when she didn’t answer me I even got sad. So what do I do to end all of this?
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lalalinda
Moderator Posts: 3291
From: nevada
Registered: Jun 2005
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posted June 15, 2007 05:04 AM
I think by realizing that this is negative behavour and nothing positive will come from it.
She was wrong and unnecessarily mean, and now that you are on equal ground (no longer your teacher) ego or pride is just reacting.
In my family its knee jerk Someone without merit should not be able to make you feel like this.
Let it go, refuse to let negative people be a reflection on you.
Do what's right for you. Rise above her.  IP: Logged |
ListensToTrees
Knowflake Posts: 3844
From: Infinity
Registered: Jul 2005
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posted June 15, 2007 05:18 AM
Nice to meet you, koko  It sounds like she really hurt you, that is the reason that it has affected you in this way. She should never have treated you in this way. Perhaps someone treated her in a similar way once? Perhaps this is the reason she is like this. She hasn't been able to work thorough the pain of the past in a constructive way, so this is the way it comes out....it is like toxins of the soul. This is the reason why most people become bullies, however subtle the bullying may be. The writer Tolstoy wrote "TO UNDERSTAND ALL IS TO FORGIVE ALL". If you are able to one day see life in this way- see beyond the surfaces of things and the masks people wear, then you will be free. If someone is unkind to you, try to see past the situation and not be affected by it; in this way you will not react....to take it a step even further, higher- would be to be kind to the ones who are unkind to you. I know it is easier said than done, but I feel that it is a very profound way to be, and will indeed set you free. Now I must go and take my own advice, and work on this myself!  and  to you IP: Logged |
koko
Knowflake Posts: 4
From:
Registered: Jun 2007
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posted June 15, 2007 06:16 AM
Well lalalinda, I guess that I just get offended really easily that's why it hurted me. And ListensToTrees,what I think and belive after spending time with her this year, is that she did it all just in order to be popular or tried to be funny. She didn't take in consideration that it may heart my feelings, or even she knew but didn't care. Anyway, I just wanted to find a way to make her know what I feel about her, and because I couldn't do that up front, so I wrote it down in her blog as anonymous. But even now, when its all over I still want her to comment me or mention me in her post. Why? I have no idea... I dont have a crush on her, because she is not in my age and not my type. But what I need is to find a way to make myself dont have the "need" of her attention. And I really don't know how to do that =( IP: Logged |
ListensToTrees
Knowflake Posts: 3844
From: Infinity
Registered: Jul 2005
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posted June 15, 2007 06:56 AM
Well, it was a sad way for her to try and get attention in this way. It's what schoolyard bullies do- try to be entertaining at the expense of others. But I still say there is a reason for why they behave this way. It's a vicious circle. A circle of hatred that won't stop until someone is brave and strong enough to walk away from it- from this way of behavior....It does sound to me as if you're still angry. If you think that there is another reason for your obsession, then I would recommend looking deeper inside of yourself. IP: Logged |
lalalinda
Moderator Posts: 3291
From: nevada
Registered: Jun 2005
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posted June 15, 2007 12:39 PM
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