posted October 21, 2007 03:13 PM         

quote:

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+ genuinely social creatures=nicer than the average person

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I have not found that to be the case. I think genuinely social people are more accessible, or personable, but I'm not sure that equates to being nice. Or, if this is what we mean by "nice", perhaps niceness is not always indicative of a deeper kindness and selflessness. I think extraverts tend to be open to others on a more superficial level, and since most of our interactions are superficial, we may assume that extraverts are the nice people. But, in my experience, extraverts are less capable and willing to share on deeper levels, or to listen and give advice which is appropriate to the situation, and not a mere projection of their own agendas. They tend to want things bigger, faster, now, and not to have the patience or the interest to enter into the minutia of the human condition. Extraverts, in my experience, tend to be more insensitive and less intuitive. They approach situations with their own agenda, and immediately launch into their problems and their interests, without regard to who may or may not be uncomfortable with their approach. They dont take hints. You have to practically spell out for them the fact that you are not interested, and then they take offense. It rarely occurs to them to consider how many times you may have taken their feelings into account and not burdened them with your own interests and complaints, or how often you have listened and offered comfort or advice, when you would have liked to be doing other things, probably alone. When you do have something you really want or need to share, they are unlikely to give you the same amount of attention which you have given them on numerous occassions. This, at least, has been my overwhelming experience.

posted October 21, 2007 03:24 PM         

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A lot of people are annoying in some way, but there's valuable knowledge and experience in everyone (or almost everyone).

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That's true.

I'd even go so far as to suggest that a wise man can learn more from a fool than a fool can learn from a wise man.

But we all learn in different ways. Some people learn best through interaction with others. Some people find the same information (far more concisely, thoroughly, beautifully, and brilliantly expressed) in books written by geniuses. To each their own.

posted October 21, 2007 03:38 PM         

9 to 5 and 5 to 9
Ain't gonna take it
It's our time
We want the world
and we want it now
We're gonna take it anyhow

We want the airwaves
We want the airwaves
We want the airwaves, baby
If rock is gonna stay alive

Oh yeah-well all right
Let's rock-tonite
All night

Where's your guts
And will to survive
And don't you wanna
Keep rock n' roll music alive
Mr. Programmer
I got my hammer
and I'm gonna
Smash my
Smash my
Radio

We want the airwaves
We want the airwaves
We want the airwaves, baby
If rock is gonna stay alive

posted October 21, 2007 03:42 PM         

quote:

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HSC, i don't think anyone has ever described those extroverted people better. That's precisely how I feel.

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Thank you, BR.

quote:

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My roommates are all extroverts. Often times I'll be walking away while they follow me still talking about themselves.

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lol,
I know, right.

quote:

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What's interesting though is that extroverts don't like other extroverts because they all want to be the center of attention.

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Good point.

quote:

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It's amusing to watch them jockey for the spotlight.

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Yeah, sometimes.
It helps to have a good sense of humor.
You are lucky that way.

posted October 21, 2007 04:03 PM         

I cant seem to face up to the facts
Im tense and nervous and i
Cant relax
I cant sleep cause my beds on fire
Dont touch me Im a real live wire

Psycho killer
Quest que cest
Fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run run away
Psycho killer
Quest que cest
Fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run run away

You start a conversation you cant even finish it.
Youre talkin a lot, but youre not sayin anything.
When I have nothing to say, my lips are sealed.
Say nothing once, why say it again?

Psycho killer,
Quest que cest
Fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run run away
Psycho killer
Quest que cest
Fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run run away

(* spoken interlude in french *)

Psycho killer,
Quest que cest
Fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run run away
Psycho killer,
Quest que cest
Fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run run away

posted October 21, 2007 11:07 PM         

quote:

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Mirandee, I agree with your post as well, and I appreciate your evolutionary psychological point of view. Humans are pack animals and we are meant to be social, but I'd rather socialize with one good person than a pack of idiots....BR

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LOL Same here, BR would rather have one intelligent person to talk to than a pack of idiots. Though I think that both introverted and extroverted people are good. Being outgoing does not necessarily mean a person does not have a very good heart.

Most relationships do begin on a superficial level. Most people don't share a whole lot about themselves regarding their personal thoughts on first meeting. It's when it never seems to advance beyond the superficial that I lose interest in the person. I can't really relate to just superficial talk. It soon bores me.

I do think there is truth in what HSC said, that extroverted people don't really like other extroverted people because they have to vie for attention and who is going to do all the talking. I also think that extroverted people are attracted to introverted people simply because we tend not to dominate the conversation and we are good listeners.

posted October 22, 2007 02:31 AM         

Personally, I can go either way. Sometimes I'm extremely extroverted, and sometimes I'm a hermit and hide away from everyone. But in my experience, being an extrovert can put one in a position to have to endlessly listen to other people's problems...because I'm sometimes outgoing, and enjoy verbal exchange, I'm apparently accessible and therefore people tend to try and "dump" on me.

I can sometimes relate to what HSC said, "it rarely occurs to them to consider how many times you may have taken their feelings into account and not burdened them with your own interests and complaints, or how often you have listened and offered comfort or advice".

Ironically however, I find that many introverted people share the same traits that some see in extroverts, like endlessly talking about themselves...it's almost as if, once they open up, perhaps because they do long to connect on a deeper level, I find that they tend to talk about themselves more. It's almost like they're a man at an oasis drinking as much as possible because they can't/don't get out of their shells much and so when they get the opportunity, or feel comfortable talking, they let it all out.

I also find that for myself, when I long to talk about something that's troubling me, but can't or won't for whatever reason, I get more irritated having to listen to people go on and on about themselves, whereas when I'm not troubled, I don't feel like I'm being denied the opportunity to talk about myself, or feel the "lack of interest" so acutely, if that makes any sense.

Many also seem to equate "extrovert" with "talking too much". While I do see that with some extroverts, those people generally run out of an "audience" pretty quickly in my experience. Do you guys find that to be the case as well?

posted October 22, 2007 04:40 AM         

I think you expressed it in a more balanced way than I was capable of doing, and what you said pretty much echoes my own feelings on this subject, although I may exaggerate my speech at times for effect.

Except for my Moon in the 1st, all my planets are in the upper hemisphere of my chart. That symbolizes pronounced extraversion, on some level. I certainly think it is possible to be fairly extraverted and considerate at the same time; not all extraverts are unreceptive and inconsiderate. But the people who exhibit these qualities do tend to be extraverted.

Isis,

Well, we are all really a mixture of introvert and extravert, but everyone is, to a greater or lesser degree, one or the other. The people who tend to be offensive are more extreme. But I find that offensive, extreme people are commonplace. And the ones who impinge themselves the most on others do tend to be extraverts. Interoverts are more likely to process things on their own, or hurt themselves.

posted October 22, 2007 05:13 AM         

For me, as I said above, it is more a choice than a default inclination (being inroverted). I can be very social if I choose to be, but not for too long. The only state that I can be in, for long periods of time, is on my own.

I party, I go out, I speak well, I am not shy or self-conscious, and one could even call me confident. I am just most comfortable in my own company. To those that I am comfortable with, I am actually quite talkative, but not all the time either, but I have my moments.

Actually, it is those that do not know me that could be inclined to think that I am an extrovert, because "when in Rome..." I am very adaptable, it is scary sometimes.

Like, I seldom drink, if ever, and one would never know that because I mimic those around me, and I pretty much go with the flow.

I do not have a huge desire to talk to people, but it is refreshing to open up; but because I can 'talk to myself' I do not hunger too much for it, but I hear what you're saying isis...

I deal better with individuals than with groups of people, because as someone stated above, there seems to be a funny competition going on about who can say (a)the funniest thing, (b)the smartest thing, or (c)the deepest thing; and this egotistical competition stifles a good conversation, in my opinion, because it really closes up anything meaningful that could have been said. People forget about exchanging energy and end up just sapping people dry.

So, as a choice, I prefer solitude. There is no one trying to steal my energy in solitude, I can hear myself think much better when on my own, and it is just quieter, free...

posted October 22, 2007 05:22 AM         

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... or hurt themselves.

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True, it's an innate sense of finding it difficult to impose on others that finds a lot of introverts prefering to hurt themselves than others; because they are not comfortable with being forceful, or with imposing force unless necessary.

posted October 22, 2007 12:44 PM         

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Do people call you old man, grumpy, etc??

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They think my long lost cousin is Oscar.

posted October 22, 2007 01:08 PM         

I'm really impressed by what you wrote. I think you expressed some exceptional points, exceptionally well. I'm glad we are not competing. If we were, I think we'd have to give you the prize.

posted October 22, 2007 01:11 PM         

"The spiritual life is not achieved by denying one part of life for the sake of another.
The spiritual life is achieved only by listening to all of life
and learning to respond to each of its dimensions wholly and with integrity."

~ Joan Chittister

"Holy listening — to 'listen' another's soul into life,
into a condition of disclosure and discovery,
may be almost the greatest service that any human being ever performs for another."

~ Douglas V. Steere (Quaker writer)

posted October 22, 2007 01:23 PM         

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I am grumpy at times. I have Cancer rising. LOL Face it, cancers are moody. I know. I live with more cancers than anyone on the planet.

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