posted November 15, 2007 11:41 AM         

Posts: 1632
From:
Registered: Jul 2005

Fayte, you are always my inspiration
and always my hope.

thank you for the reminders
I needed to hear on this fateful eve.

cooo

~Lady Dove

posted November 15, 2007 11:43 AM         

Posts: 7732
From:
Registered: Mar 2005
Lady Dove
Milady fair, I salute thee and your amazing strength in times of adversity. You are a survivor.
I admire you muchly.
Love to thee dear one.
Fayte

posted November 15, 2007 11:44 AM         

Posts: 1632
From:
Registered: Jul 2005
Inspiring indeed.

fayte, funny...you've probably seen me in my weakest times, yet regardless you recognize my strength.
Others I've barely shown my weakness, yet seem to define me for whatever weakness I've shown.
thank you. Can't tell you how meaningful that is to me (right now).

posted November 15, 2007 11:54 AM         

Posts: 5815
From: ~out looking for Schrodinger's cat~
Registered: Mar 2005

Lia
Mirandee
both!

posted November 15, 2007 12:03 PM         

Posts: 1665
From:
Registered: Jul 2005

Cold Brains,
Unmoved,
Untouched,
Unglued
Alone at last

no thoughts,
no mind
to rot
behind
a trail of disasters

a final the curse
abandoned hearse
we ride disowned
corroded to the bone

the fields of green
are bent, obscene
i lay upon the gravel

a worm of hope
a hangman's rope
pulls me one way or the other

a final curse
abandoned hearse
we write this song
corroded to the bone

a bird of song
is heard no longer
in the evacuated heavens

the drain is drawn
and drained and gone
and on and on, it doesn't matter

a final the curse
abandoned hearst
we ride disowned,
corroded to the bone

~Beck

edit** reinserted for Emotion,
Beautiful in its transient Purity.

fayte.m
Knowflake

Posts: 9150
From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat
Registered: Mar 2005

deleted because my love embarasses

posted November 15, 2007 12:05 PM         

Posts: 1713
From:
Registered: Jul 2005
I deleted the song, not wanting to
tarnish the Beauty of this thread,

but aren't Real Feelings, True and intense as they are being felt in the Moment Beautiful?
What could be more Beautiful?

Now I've hurt a true friend here.

Fayte, your post was Real and Free Feeling from all the Caring from your Heart for me. I shouldn't have asked you to delete it. It was a Beautiful Gift from your heart.

Why?
my pride; not wanting to be pitied. I've strove so long being strong, lest not shatter all that strength in one vulnerable moment.

Fear of being misunderstood again as something that I am not (I have forgiven~~I care deeply, Stephen knows I do), or exploited, fear of the spotlight again....it's safer in here, Mute.

I don't want to open it. bheart:

Please forgive me, Faye.

I can handle anything, any challenge in this world but that I might have hurt you.

Everything I touch anymore is cursed/I curse.

They all want me to save them,
I can barely save myself.

I'm *ucked up.

posted November 15, 2007 12:06 PM         

Posts: 9150
From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat
Registered: Mar 2005

I have tried to post a long one several times. No luck yet.

quote:

---

Silver, Fayte,finding you was a miracle, for you both understand Cherish and it's worth.
I thank you from the depths of my Heart.

---

posted November 15, 2007 12:07 PM         

Posts: 9150
From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat
Registered: Mar 2005
Ok..I will delete this too if you wish. I finally got it to post but the damn smilies would not work.
GGGGrrrrrrrrrr.
"sigh"
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
From Lia:

quote:

---

I deleted the song, not wanting to
tarnish the Beauty of this thread,
but aren't Real Feelings, True and intense as they are being felt in
the Moment Beautiful?
What could be more Beautiful?

---

quote:

---

Now I've hurt a true friend here. Fayte, your post was Real and Free Feeling from all the Caring from your
Heart for me. I shouldn't have asked you to delete it. It was a Beautiful Gift
from your heart.
Why?
my pride; not wanting to be pitied. I've strove so long being strong, lest not
shatter all that strength in one vulnerable moment.

Fear of being misunderstood again as something that I am not, or exploited,
fear of the spotlight again....it's safer in here, Mute.

I don't want to open it.

---

I do understand, and that is what hurts. Watching you hurt. Knowing that only
you can open "it", when you are ready. I can only watch, and listen, and feel
your agony. Or be brutally honest when you ask my opinion. And then wait.

quote:

---

Please forgive me, Faye.

---

Forgive yourself.
Love You first.
You will not be healed by giving to those whose needs surpass yours.
They will not heal as long as they can feed upon you instead of finding their
own inner strength by facing themselves.
Until one is at peace with self, one cannot truly love.
Yes, one can have compassion.
Compassion, rejection, compassion, rejection, ever giving, ever draining,
hungry to be refilled. Both the giver and the taker, taking turns, reversing roles, over and over both starving the other.
Desperately needing love and to give love, hoping to receive love.

But love eludes them both or all..

Love thyself first.

You will not need love, but become love, and can give it away freely, forever
replenished, because real love sustains itself, and never diminishes or weakens
with the giving. Giving love should not drain you and weaken you. Do not
confuse pity and compassion, and understanding, with love.

quote:

---

I can handle anything, any challenge in this world but that I might have hurt you.

---

quote:

---

Everything I touch anymore is cursed/I curse.

---

quote:

---

They all want me to save them,
I can barely save myself.

---

~God helps those who help themselves.~

~God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and (the) wisdom to know the difference.~

~There will always be suffering~
you cannot save them all, nor is it your job to do so.

Forgive yourself. Love yourself. Find Time for You.

quote:

---

I'm *ucked up.

---

Take care of yourself for now.

Those who truly love you will not ask of you anything but for you to love yourself.{{{*}}}

posted November 15, 2007 12:10 PM         

Posts: 4209
From: South of the Thumb Taurus, Pisces, Cancer
Registered: Sep 2004

Wow, Fayte

Your post to Lisa is just awesome and so very, very true.

This part was very profound:

quote:

---

You have seen the emotional vampires and those
begging for you to save them from their own self made hells and tortures by their own
inner demons. And because you are compassionate and caring you have attempted to
enter their hells and save them. They reach out to you with pleading words, and hungry
desperate pleas for attention and for love, but so many are so devoid of love for themselves,within themselves,
that this passion to help and love and heal them...soon subjects you to more a kind of soul rape, from which no one comes away from unscathed......

---

This is similar to something that I said to Lisa just this morning ( maybe the universe is trying to tell her something)only I used different terms. Something that Lisa said to me made me think of it. One of my teachers at the seminary had used this metaphor. Of course coming from a Christian source no one will pay attention.

What you described here is what Msgr. Zenz said about Jesus. He used the metaphor of Jesus as our "savior lifeguard." Jesus tried to save us from our own self-made hells and the torment of our own inner demons all created out of our lack of love for ourselves and along with that our feeling of unworthiness. Compassionate and loving God heard the voices crying out to save us and entered into our self-made hells by becoming one of us.

Humanity resisted and struggled against that unconditional love and compassion that Jesus offered to save us from drowning in our own sins born out of our own inner comtempt for ourselves but beyond that, our fear held us back. Fear of change. Fear of the unknown. Fear. We struggled against the truth and saving grace that Jesus offered us.

Just as a drowning victim out of fear resists and struggles against the lifeguard while his rescuer is attempting to save him/her, we resisted our "savior lifeguard" and in our struggles we drug him down to drown with us. We drug Jesus down to death because we resisted the truth he offered that would set us all free from our own self-inflicted pain and chains. Just as we dragged down to death all the prophets that came before Jesus.

Sorry, Fayte, but what you stated here in your words to Lisa is very Christian. hee hee Just teasing you, because Christian or otherwise, what you said here is a very, very awesome spiritual truth.

__________________

posted November 15, 2007 12:11 PM         

Posts: 9150
From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat
Registered: Mar 2005

Mirandee

quote:

---

Sorry, Fayte, but what you stated here in your words to Lisa is very Christian. hee hee Just teasing you, because Christian or otherwise, what you said here is a very, very awesome spiritual truth.

---

posted November 15, 2007 12:40 PM         

Posts: 1713
From:
Registered: Jul 2005

Faye,
Truth is the Beauty I most Love to hear.

Thank you for understanding,
and as always for your Friendship,
your protection and care
of which I am forever grateful.

Lifetimes perhaps....some we may have yet
to Be for each other.

posted November 15, 2007 12:43 PM         

Posts: 9150
From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat
Registered: Mar 2005
From Lia:

quote:

---

When the truest of true truths becomes evident it suddenly becomes void. When the void is immersed in so completely that we "become" the void then new truths appear that go way beyond the truths we so comfortably resonated to.

---

quote:

---

Are you ready for the journey? Are you ready to create your new path? Are you ready to follow it? Are you ready to go beyond it? Are you ready to go where all paths lead towards but no path takes you fully there? Are you ready to step beyond all the paths? Are you ready to be there?

---

Those words echo muchly of these words which have given me a reminder and strength in times of doubt:

To You Lia

quote:

---

Jesus said, "let him who seeks continue seeking until he finds. When he finds, he will become troubled. When he becomes troubled, he will be astonished, and he will rule over the all."
Jesus said, "Recognize what is in your sight, and that which is hidden from you will become plain to you. For there is nothing hidden which will not become manifest."

---

Love

posted November 15, 2007 12:47 PM         

I confess I do not know what you`re conveying with your last posts, nontheless, I am happy to see them!

I had thought you were having a physcial health crisis but your ability to copy / paste and link to photos is reassuring.

It may be in your best interests to seek some medical help, if nothing else, for your stressed out state

------------------
~
What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world is immortal"~

posted November 15, 2007 01:14 PM         

Posts: 948
From:
Registered: Jul 2005

D, I left a message for you in the Astrology forum in your natal thread.

{{{ }}} (big astral hug)

What you say about Fayte is true.
She is always there for others, no matter how down she's feeling herself. I'm ever amazed to learn of how many people she communicates with...listens to and helps. Yet, she keeps this quiet to herself and is modest about it. I think she deserves so much in return for all she gives.

------------------
"Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over and start a rehab for the damned!"
~Judgement Must Be Balanced With Compassion~
~Do Not Seek Wealth From The Suffering, Or The Dire Needs Of Others~
~Assumption Is The Bane Of Understanding~
~ if you keep doing what you did, you'll keep getting what you got.~
Everything changes.
Fear not the changes.
"My body is physically disabled, but I am not my body nor am I its disabilities!"
"I would rather," Truth said; "to walk naked than wear the raiments of Falsehood!"
}><}}}(*> <*){{{><{}><}}}(*> <*){{{><{}><}}}(*> <*){{{><{}><}}}(*> <*){{{><{}<}}(*> <3
~~~ ~~ ~~~~ ~~~ ~~~~~ ~~ ~~~~ ~~~ ~~~~~ ~~ ~~~~ ~~~ ~~~~~ ~~ ~~~~ ~~~ ~~
~~~~~ ~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~~~ ~~ ~~~~ ~~~ ~~

posted November 15, 2007 01:17 PM         

It may be in your best interests to seek some medical help, if nothing else, for your stressed out state

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

ytping q[,'/;=- gaaaaa rrrrrrrrr
nt ct/pst

posted November 15, 2007 05:24 PM         

Saddened by all the hurt.

posted November 15, 2007 05:36 PM         

Please seek medical help. Your mind is active but motor skills are not, are you also having trouble speaking?

Please take your mind to a beautiful enchanted place to rest and heal. I recently read where you mentioned suffering a recent stroke. You are a strong woman, you need to take care of yourself, and seek help NOW!

Sending love, light and healing.
Noreen

posted November 15, 2007 06:01 PM         

Fool-Clown-Trickester!!!

The negative side of the clown archetype is that knowing human drives and urges, the vulnerable underbelly of human life so well, the clown can manipulate, reveal what is hurtful or torture.

Useful questions are:

Does the part of me that pokes at other peoples weaknesses or vulnerabilities do so caringly or hurtfully?

What is my trickster/clown revealing to me about myself?

Is there still a crude undeveloped side of my nature that I am not very aware of?

posted November 15, 2007 06:37 PM         

She's poking and dumping on Lisa, Lisa's vunerablilties and weakness, Guilt trip by not getting over the past hurts and collecting them all up and posting them here. Displays of Fayte's Heart on her sleeve here for everyone to see. You don't think this kind of behaviour is not going to make Lisa feel anything??????

I SEE!!!

posted November 15, 2007 06:46 PM         

quote:

---

She's poking and dumping on Lisa, Lisa's vunerablilties and weakness, Guilt trip by not getting over the past hurts and collecting them all up and posting them here. Displays of Fayte's Heart on her sleeve here for everyone to see. You don't think this kind of behaviour is not going to make Lisa feel anything??????

---

quote:

---

when does it Stop?????

---