posted January 21, 2008 01:55 AM         

THE BACKSTORY:

I feel the need to be oblique, just because of the paranoid, suffocating atmosphere I have been living in. Its no secret that I do seasonal work in a very remote, isolated area of the country.

So, this season I decided to challenge myself to work at a different location- one that I have avoided in all the years I have worked out here.

I am absolutely, utterly, 100% miserable.
I hate this place.

In fact, I have grown to despise every facet of the company I work for, the people I work with, and the very nature of the career I have worked so hard to excel at.

I have been written up, for the first time ever- on NOTHING- based on falsified statements. I am under a laser beam of criticism, at all times. There are politics being played that I have never seen here, never had to deal with. The egos are MASSIVE- and honestly, my ego isn't. I do my job, and I work my a$$ off.

I have been told in no uncertain terms- no, you can't have friends, you are "at work" 24-7, and anything I do or say- hell, even if a raise an eyebrow the wrong way- is cause for disciplinary action.

I don't know if I can make it through the next 2 months. I don't know if I ever want to come back here ever again.

I used to be so happy here, and I appreciated everyone- even beyond their little petty quirks and personal issues. Now I feel that I am surrounded by hypocrites (example: people who were MY bosses last season acting like childish brats.)

I came into this new season SO excited to be here, ready and eager to work and have a great time. I feel like I have been beaten by the negativity bat, day in and day out.

I wish I could be more specific, but I have spent the past 2 months looking over my shoulder with suspicion and fear. Trust me, I am not trying to exaggerate simply for drama and/or sympathy.

I am so stuck.

D@mn you Saturn!!!!

Thanks for reading my rant....

posted January 21, 2008 02:34 AM         

Just two more months, just two more months...

Chanting away...

You CAN do this!

When all is said and done you can return home (or) at least as far away from that place as possible and truly breath a sigh of relief...

Just follow through on your commmitment as best you can.
Tune out the insanity and focus on Rainbows, and Sunshine!

Between here and there, this little story may help:
(If for nothing else, at least some laughter, LOL!)

There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror, and noticed she had only three hairs on her head.

"Well," she said, "I think I'll braid my hair today."

So she did and... she had a wonderful day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and saw that she had only two hairs on her head.

"H-M-M," she said,

"I think I'll part my hair down the middle today."

So she did and... she had a grand day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that she had only one hair on her head.

"Well," she said,

"today I'm going to wear my hair in a pony tail."

So she did, and... she had a fun, fun day.

The next day she woke up,

looked in the mirror and noticed

that there wasn't a single hair on her head.

"YAY!" she exclaimed.

"I don't have to fix my hair today!"

ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING!

Sending' GOBS of love your way!!!

(¯`v´¯)
`*.¸.*´
¸.´¸.*¨) ¸.*¨)
(¸.´ (¸.´ .´ ¸¸.¨¯`

posted January 21, 2008 03:13 PM         

Strength, strength, strength!!! These people are horrible little Hitlers. Are you on a contract of any kind?

Perhaps take a leaf out of the book of say, Scorpio or Aqua (be less malleable/able to be pushed around), and perhaps learn to practise passive resistance more (this not being something I would normally prescribe). Build up your ego, this is a must... you'd think this was easy for me as an Aries to say...though I have been in diminished ego phases myself so I do know what I am talking about. Moreover, train yourself to be less disposed to feel guilt. If I were in their shoes, the guilt would be all on ME - controlling someone else's life to that extent. I just couldn't do it.

Have you got evidence to counter their statements? Doing the job is not always enough, sometimes you need to challenge them and whinge a bit, irrespective of the consequences.

If you don't want to go back there again then don't! Nobody is making you.

Lots of love,

Xena

posted January 22, 2008 02:54 AM         

That's the inherent problem of my reality- this is it~

I can't get out. I know it sounds ridiculous, but "civilization" is a 6 hour ride just to get to my car, and then another 4 hours drive to the nearest town that sponsors a Target and a McDonalds.

That's the level of my isolation. I live, work, and eat 3 meals a day with the same 60 people.

I take a lot of baths, and drink a lot of bourbon.

For me to leave this life... I need to find a new city, and completely move my life. My stuff, a new job, a place to live.

Its not that I have never done it before- but I have lived this life for 5 years. I don't know right now, where I would even want to go.

This isn't just changing jobs- its changing everything, every facet of my reality.

Thanks for the encouragement, from everyone. This week has been okay....

posted January 28, 2008 01:47 AM         

Hey lady, how is life!!!?!

I love it how you lurk, and only pop up once in awhile....

I am going to blame it all on astrology. I am stumbling blindly with optimism, thinking that once Mars isn't retro and Pluto finally moves into Cappy that people will just CHILL OUT for the last 6 months of this crazy winter.
I can feel the change a-coming, I swear.

I am okay, and thanks for asking. Today was a really good day at work, with co-workers, and after work- with the same people I saw at work. Its a mad, mad world I choose to live in, and I have to learn to deal with it.

Taking many baths seems to help a lot.. and considering I just spent $200 on luxury bath products... well, its cheaper than therapy.

I don't hate it so much today.