posted January 23, 2008 11:06 AM         

Or where to start?

posted January 23, 2008 11:49 AM         

My daughter would like to go back to her maiden name as well.

posted January 23, 2008 12:26 PM         

It is not mandatory, lots of women I know have kept theirs, especially lady docs! It appears to be only "mandatory" on the marriage certificate.

The problem lies with children, legal documents, etc. so lots of ladies hyphenate. I think, tho once you go there, you are stuck..and I want to be un-stuck!!!

posted January 24, 2008 03:22 PM         

<sigh> suppose I am off to the county court house...

posted January 24, 2008 07:09 PM         

When a couple gets married, they also get a marriage license. On that marriage license is a line for your new name. Write it in, and you're done! And this goes for men too; some couples hyphenate their surnames together, in which case the man must be prepared to rearrange his records, too. On occasion, the couple chooses an entirely new last name to both of them. Sometimes, the man will take his beloved's surname. Most often, however, women take their husbands' surnames.

Divorce

Returning to a maiden name (or any other name) is included in the divorce proceeding, if requested. However, it is not required that people change their names after divorce and a woman who changed her name for her husband's surname can continue to use it if she wants to.

1. EXAMINE YOUR OPTIONS
Names can be changed in two ways:

1. Pick a new name and consistently use it. This is called "common usage."
2. Go through a more formal court process.

Both are equally legitimate. However, you can't just change your name to anything you want. Here are the main limiations:

1. You can not change your name if you have "fraudulent intent," meaning that you're trying to avoid bankruptcy by becoming someone else.

2. You can not change your name in the hope of messing with a trademarked name. For instance, you can't rename yourself Merrill Lynch and open a stock brokerage house. This also applies to giving yourself the name of a famous person. You can't legally change your name to Meryl Streep and then try to make money off of your new name.

3. You can not use numbers in your name, like 911, in order to intentionally confuse people. You also can not use symbols (ampersands, percent signs, whatever). However, you can add Roman numerals to the end of your name if you want a pretentious one like Winthrop Winterbottom IIIVVXXI. (It is unclear whether the artist formerly known as Prince is aware that his symbol is far from legitimate.)

4. Naughty or violent words are not allowed by the courts, nor is anything with a racial slur. Yes, there are porn stars who give themselves rather questionable names, but these are often stage names and are treated as nicknames.

5. If you're a minor, you need to have a court decision. This often occurs when parents get divorced and a child wants to join his/her mother in using her maiden name.

Should you go with common usage or a court proceeding?

There are positives and negatives to both. Common usage is incredibly easy to implement: just start using it. So if someone writes a check to "Mike" instead of "Michael," it's not a problem. However, if you are going to dramatically change your name (such as, you are going to completely change your first name), common usage will give you headaches. Will Citibank really want to put a new name on your credit card account without having proof that you are indeed the same person? What about your medical insurance? What about Aunt Tilda's will? Having some sort of proof really helps.

A court proceeding leaves you with a public record of the change and an indisputable right to your new name. So no matter what Citibank, insurance company, or dead Aunt Tilda say, your new name will be completely legitimate. That's what we'll help you accomplish.

But before you go any further, we ask you to really think this through. Changing a child's last name to match yours does not mean that you have adopted him. Changing your name will not expunge or excuse mistakes in your past. Changing your last name to match your boyfriend's does not mean that you are legally married.

2. GET A COURT ORDER

The three most common reasons for changing your name are: 1) a general "cuz I wanna" (a reason we call "desire"), 2) you're getting married, or 3) you're getting divorced. Changing your name in the events of marriage and divorce are incredibly easy; desire is much more complicated.

Desire

If you want to get your name changed for no other reason than because you want to, then getting a court order involves following these steps in detail:

1. Figure out what your state requires for paperwork. This can be determined by contacting a local lawyer, calling the court, or looking up the state statutes in a law library. Which court oversees this process depends on the state; it could be civil, probate or superior court. Usually it is done at the local level. A good place to start is with your county court.

2. Once you know where to go, ask about the necessary filing forms. They typically include:

* A petition for change of name.

* An order granting change of name.

* A legal backer form.

* A notice of petition to the public, meaning an advertisement in a local newspaper.

* An affidavit of consent by a parent/wife/husband, if applicable.

* An affidavit of service of notification to authorities, necessary if you are an alien, ex-convict or attorney.
The petition makes sure you meet the requirements, and you'll hand over your address and a copy of your birth certificate. The remainder of the papers are similar, but ascertain that others are aware of your change. The order granting change of name, for example, specifies in which newspaper you must publish your intent to change your name.

3. When filling out these forms, make sure your answers are legible and do not misspell anything, especially your new name.

4. Some of the papers will need to be notarized, a process that is typically done for free by a public notary.

5. File the papers by handing them into the clerk of court or whichever person is designated in the court system to process the papers.

6. Double check your documents before you hand them in for mistakes and make a photocopy for your records.

7. You usually have to pay a nominal filing fee and your papers will get a docket number.

8. Once your case is reviewed by a judge, it either will be approved outright or a court hearing will be requested. A hearing may be typical for your state or could happen because you're suspect. When you start the legal proceeding ask whether a hearing is routine or not. During a hearing, the judge will ask you questions regarding the truth of your case and to determine whether you are changing your name for the right reasons.

9. After your petition is signed, you'll have to return to the court to get it, unless you can persuade the clerk to mail you the documents.

10. Then you have to take out an advertisement in the newspaper specified. And lawyers, ex-cons and aliens must notify the Immigration and Naturalization Services, the state bar or the Criminal Justice System, depending on which one applies.

11. Once the newspaper has run the ad and the authorities have taken note of your new identity, they will send you an affidavit which you must return to the court clerk.

12. Finally, the court will issue you an Order Granting Change of Name which is your new ID. Sometimes this comes with a nominal fee.

In general, the court proceedings for an adult are relatively simple because once the requirements are satisfied, the court is likely to approve the change. If you encounter resistance, it helps your case if you are changing your name to make it easier for others to use and understand, if you are escaping an abusive relationship and don't want to be found, or if you want to be known by your stage name.

For a minor's name change, there are a couple extra facts to take note of:

* An adult will have to submit the petition with a reason for the change and typically a parent or a guardian will have to give his/her consent.

* The reason for the change should be significant, such as adoption or bringing a stepchild into a family.

* Both parents/guardians will be notified of the petition, which means an objecting parent has time to come forward.

* As a result, there could be controversy over whether the child's name should be changed, and a hearing in front of a judge is more likely. Ultimately, the judge will decide what is in the best interest for the child.

* Remember that changing a name is not the same as a legal adoption or the removal of parental responsibilities. If your son lives with your ex-wife and changes his last name to that of his step-father's, you are still required to pay child support.

If you are lucky enough (or unfortunate enough) to be getting married or divorced, you have at least one thing in your favor: name changes can be an automatic part of the process. You still have to change your passport, social security, and other documentation, but you don't have to deal with the legal proceedings described above.

3. CHANGE YOUR RECORDS

Once your name is changed, you can't forget to tell certain people about it or you may be cornered by angry bill collectors eager to break your knee caps.

Good ones to start with are the Department of Motor Vehicles and the Social Security Administration, because once your new driver's license and social security card are in hand, changing the rest of your records will be easy. You should also send a copy of your court order to the Bureau of Records or Vital Statistics in the state you were born to either amend your birth certificate or get a new one.

Then move on to:

* credit card agencies
* Internal Revenue Service
* utility companies
* your employer
* the post office
* your mother
* passport
* bank
* stocks/bonds/mutual funds
* retirement plans
* real estate
* professional associations
* the Registrar of Voters
* car registration
* house, car and life insurance
* your will
* other people's wills
* your doctor
* your lawyer
* powers of attorney
* trusts
* contracts
* frequent flyer programs
* welfare office
* veteran's administration
* academic institutions (although those still paying back school loans may be tempted not to bother)

Some of these places (such as the Social Security Administration) will insist on seeing documentation. Others will not. Some will just need a phone call, while others will need to see you in person or get it in writing. Documentation helps with your transition between names, so the more documentation you get, the easier the subsequent changes will be.

When sending a letter, be sure to state clearly your new and old name and explain that you want them interchanged. Enclose a copy of your court order to prove you're for real.

Also, do not immediately throw away your old identification. It may be necessary to prove who you once were. Some IDs, like your passport, may carry an A.K.A. ("also known as"), so you're not completely free of your original name.

Lala provided the link to this information above already.

posted January 25, 2008 10:12 AM         

I think names carry energy and if I were as gifted as some I know at lexi's I would lexi both names and go from there!

I need to get out of the energy of my late husband, (and his family) go back to the drawing board, so to speak and be-gin all over again with who I was born with. At this mid point in my life (hopefully a mid point) it is time to be-gin to clean up karmic messes.

What a hassel it will be, but my mom wants to do it too, so she and I can hassel together. And I think in the hassel of it all, re-naming leagal documents, etc, that a good, fresh energy will be created.

My daughters 19 and almost 16 support me, know my reasons and will keep their dad's name----and his family.

Thanks again

Terri

posted January 25, 2008 10:41 AM         

Thanks for posting this thread Hippichick it's brought back some wonderful growing and empowering moments in time!!!

No Really though.