Posts: 517
From: USA
Registered: Aug 2005

posted May 05, 2008 03:31 AM         

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When i came online after my husband went to bed he left his screen on. I was just about to sign into my email when something caught me eye. My personal emails in his mail. He has been looking at my emails and sending them to himself. Im trying to change my password but am having a hell of a time. I submitted the info the same way i did the first time. but it's not accepting it. if i cant get back in i lost so much there.

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Posts: 517
From: USA
Registered: Aug 2005

posted May 05, 2008 04:12 AM         

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Im really feaking out. i went back to look now that i found out. and he has all of my personal emails going back months. so much is there . I cant believe it.

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Posts: 517
From: USA
Registered: Aug 2005

posted May 05, 2008 04:24 AM         

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I cant believe it so far it goes all the way back to january. he has been taking all my personal stuff and keeping it.I dont know what to do. but im deleting them as i find them i wonder if he will say anyhing when he finds them gone. i wont be able to hold off confronting him. for all the hell i know he probanly looks on here also

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Posts: 273
From: Female, Dubai
Registered: Nov 2006

posted May 05, 2008 06:07 AM         

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oh-uh. i don't know what to say. i am a scorpio and i am a very private person. so i expect other people to respect my privacy as much as i respect theirs.

i think you need to confront him about it.

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Posts: 1093
From: Born in S.Africa
Registered: Jun 2007

posted May 05, 2008 09:47 AM         

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was there incriminating info in the emails?

You know what, people who snoop deserve the bad news they receive. I have no patence for such people.

I would call him on it and turn the tables on him.

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Posts: 423
From: My own private world
Registered: Jan 2008

posted May 05, 2008 11:55 AM         

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I would confront him, sit down with him and ask him why he has been going through your emails. If he is honest with you, you wouldn't worry too much about his answer but try and talk to him to get to the bottom of his snoopiness.

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Posts: 1469
From: Palmer, AK
Registered: Jul 2004

posted May 05, 2008 08:00 PM         

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That's just wrong. And sending them to himself and KEEPING them. Why?

Do you think he left that screen on and up for a reason? you think he wanted you to know?

I'm sorry but regardless of him being your hubby, that's creepy.

I ditto all the above advice .... confront him on it

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Posts: 2729
From: Japan
Registered: Aug 2003

posted May 05, 2008 10:22 PM         

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Are you going through a rift or more or less happy right now?

I ... do you not share your passwords with each other? It's a bit foreign to me because hubby and I check each other's email all the time, fwd stuff to ourselves, etc. I also tend to save more emails than he does (important documents from services or friends with needed info) than he does so he'll check mine to find something he forgot. Um, so that's not a big deal to us. I don't know the dynamics of your relationship, though. Did you have set rules about keeping out of each other's "private" things and were you both clear on what was considered private? If not, maybe it's not so weird. But if you know that he knew that was to be off limits, and he did it anyway, then it's completley strange and I'd confront him ( calmly and respectfully) straight away. Though you don't have to answer, why would he be interested in your personal emails? What could he be trying to find? Was there anything to be found that would put you in a compromising position? Important questions to consider beforehand, imo.

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Posts: 181
From: Germany
Registered: Apr 2008

posted May 06, 2008 02:25 AM         

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that is outrageous. yea as Eleanore said if you are tolerant with each other's information that's understandable but you don't sound like that's the case... i agree with all above, you have to sort it out. also as angel_of_hope said, maybeee he left it on on purpose, i wouldn't know why, but in that case there's something more to the whole thing.

i hope all gets sorted out for you...

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Posts: 423
From: My own private world
Registered: Jan 2008

posted May 06, 2008 04:18 AM         

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Any news?

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Posts: 517
From: USA
Registered: Aug 2005

posted May 07, 2008 01:01 PM         

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I just got back online. we know each other's passwords. and the info is something he already is aware of. This marriage is on shaky ground and he knows i want out. i told him. But he has to read about what i said to a friend of mine about this when he already knows. It feels creepy..

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Posts: 273
From: Female, Dubai
Registered: Nov 2006

posted May 07, 2008 01:04 PM         

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oh i hope you can still work things out.

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Posts: 1595
From: U.K
Registered: Dec 2007

posted May 07, 2008 01:26 PM         

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Why not save time and stress by sending an email saying the same things but to him this time. Use it as an opportunity to offload all your grievances/complaints/hurt feelings without being interrupted or getting into a pointless argument.

Just an idea, you might not like it and that's fine.

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Posts: 132
From: USA
Registered: Apr 2008

posted May 07, 2008 01:34 PM         

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I'd sit him down and confront him on it. It doesn't do either of you any good to be sneaky about it. Yes, he "started it", but the adult thing to do would be to flat out ask him about it. My ex was constantly sneaking around behind my back and lying to my face. I think what hurts the most is not being trusted enough to be honest.
That's just my two cents...

Hope everything works out for you both!

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Posts: 517
From: USA
Registered: Aug 2005

posted May 09, 2008 06:37 PM         

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I am having such trouble this week it all started monday with this. my computer has been in for repair twice. ever since i found this everything else has been downhill. i havent told him yet

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Posts: 423
From: My own private world
Registered: Jan 2008

posted May 09, 2008 07:35 PM         

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Posts: 13963
From: *
Registered: Jun 2004

posted May 09, 2008 09:59 PM         

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wishing the best for you nattie.

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Posts: 1132
From: Anywhere
Registered: Jul 2002

posted May 09, 2008 11:31 PM         

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I'll keep you in my thoughts nattie that you find the right words to say when you need them.

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The truth is ... everything counts. Everything. Everything we do and everything we say. Everything helps or hurts; everything adds to or takes away from someone else. ~ Countee Cullen

We are weaving character every day, and the way to weave the best character is to be kind and to be useful. Think right, act right; it is what we think and do that makes us who we are. ~ Elbert Hubbard

The simple act of caring is heroic. ~ Edward Albert

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Posts: 7377
From: Grafenwohr, Germany
Registered: May 2002

posted May 10, 2008 10:54 AM         

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Nattie.. I am so sorry. I hope you two are able to talk and work things out. I am sorry he has been checking your e-mails

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Posts: 517
From: USA
Registered: Aug 2005

posted May 10, 2008 11:00 AM         

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I dont trust him now.

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Posts: 2721
From: Never Never Land
Registered: Oct 2006

posted May 10, 2008 09:29 PM         

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I don't blame you natti. Thats a really nasty thing to do and you should change your password. Maybe try to do it from another computer if yours isn't letting and also because such info might be saved on ur computer. But I would personally confront him about it. Its not okay to do that. Its not okay to read anyone's personal info let alone send it to himself. Good luck to you.

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Posts: 517
From: USA
Registered: Aug 2005

posted May 11, 2008 10:21 AM         

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Im starting to go over so many things now. to see if i can connect this to anything in my past with him. and what else he might have done like this. For some reason i still haven't told him. im just watching now.To see i was meant to find this out.

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Posts: 4801
From: Infinity
Registered: Jul 2005

posted May 11, 2008 10:33 AM         

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Posts: 517
From: USA
Registered: Aug 2005

posted May 15, 2008 10:18 AM         

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I haven't spoke to him yet. now i noticed emails deleted from my sent file. He is smothering me. he knows i want out for awhile now. it has to be the right time though so i never have to come back.

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