posted July 12, 2008 11:37 AM         

here's an intersting one between jji and i

my anteros (answer to love's waiting, love returned) trine his anteros.

oh **** it - i'll just post the chart. lol!

posted July 12, 2008 12:12 PM         

you don`t have to delete that post.

And you`re absolutely right, I have no idea how you do it, but this is exactly the core of me. I`m in awe.
You can`t have seen that through astrology alone, or if you did, how?

"you have a lot of power - but you are afraid of it - terribly -"
Yes, definitely. I remember that in my youth I was doing some of this "automatic writing" stuff, not really trying to reach spirits (I should have refrained from THAT alltogether), but trying out my telepathic powers. I did that together with a younger friend of mine. She had brought an even younger kid along who was just visiting their mom; she didn`t even know the kid.
And I "guessed" the name of this kid`s pet, just by connecting to both of them through holding their hands. I was startled and shocked beyond belief. And I then realized, that I was somehow gaining power over my friend. She was in awe of me, she would have done anything I asked her for. And THAT really shocked me. It was the reason for me to withdraw, especially from the "occult realm".
I just had the feeling that there were powers at work, that were so much more powerful than me and that could, would, destroy me, if I tapped into that source too deeply.
And I was only 13 or 14 years old at that time. But I know my parents were freaking out, the priest in our village was having a "serious talk" with my mother, and I once even used my power of "conviction", not really going there, but pretending I was, to scare the **** out of a girl who had been using my trust and hit on the boy, I had fallen for, and I had been so stupid to tell her about it. It was like a sign for her to try to get him. She wasn`t even interested. It was all just a power game between the two of us I guess. I lost the boy, and she lost a good night`s sleep, because she was a little bit scared about what I told her, about telepathy, spirits, karma and such things (and I didn`t really know about these things back then).
However I feel deeply ashamed about what i had done and I am only glad that it only cost her this one night`s rest, which was bad enough. Even if she had hurt me so deeply and betrayed my trust, I shouldn`t have used my knowledge and imagination to scare her like I did. And I never did it again.

Well, at once point or two something of that "power" as you call it shone through; for example when this guy was threatening my brother with a knife, or when my brother (he was very little back then) threatened me with a knife, I just told both to hand me over the knife, and after a few moments they simply did. It was only afterwards that Ir ealized, that this could have taken a totally different turn.
But I also came across people who really tried to destroy me. Maybe I`m too melodramatic here, but I don`t know about many girls who have been beaten up by a group of about 15 youths. Really took much away of my trust in humankind, especially in a certain age. Ironically it`s the age I am dealing with the most nowadays as a teacher; I guess it`s part of my personal healing-process.
Why they beat me up? I don`t really know. I guess I said the wrong thing at the wrong time; didn`t back down when I were supposed to. Laughed a little to loud about their stupidity. Okay, yes, I know the reasons. I never behaved as I was meant to. NOt that I was so provocative; but I was always speaking my own mind and kinda marching to my own tune, which unsettles a lot of people I guess. Hey, must be Lilith in Aquarius in 3rd house, don`t you think?
But I often payed a price for this, and yet, I think they still didn`T "domesticated" me. There`s something in my nature that just doesn`t fit into society and never really will; but worse, I am even proud of it. On good days. On bad days not so much.
I`m not brave when it comes to physical things, like going on adventures, really fighting or even doing sport.
But I think I`m rather courageous when it comes to the things of the mind. I often go to places, seek out these places, that others don`t even want to know they exist.

"or some reason your fear that you cannot control it and that it will overwhelm you and that you will be consumed by it - but worse, that others will be hurt by it - especially those you care about."
Yes.

" so in some way you fear your femininity - and therefore also sexuality."
This is very true. I`m very very scared, I know that.

"you also fear being lost in it and being dominated by it - or by the person - but at the same time you desire it -"
Yes.

"the feelings you feel are so strong, so overwhelming, that it is less painful to detach - it aches less to not get involved than to get involved. loving and being loved cause you to ache inside."
This is exactly the point. I mean I know how I feel right now about Stuart, when I see him, hear him. And even this scares me, because, let`s for one moment be real, he`s just a far away movie-actor I don`t know, never will meet, and yet I can feel such a strong ache inside, that at times it makes me even detach from his movies, because it feels too strong and therefor unbearable.
I don`t dare to think how this would feel if I let myself fall into these feelings for a "real" person.

"you are able to learn through your feelings - without actually having to experience things first-hand."
Interesting, that is exactly what my parents once said about me. That they were so surprised, I had zero life-experience, and yet I interpreted their dreams so fittingly; also the ones of my brother, even though I didn`t have any experience to back it up.
But for me, if it has an emotional impact on me, the feeling is real; it makes me grow (and it makes me ache inside).
Even if it is just an one sided thing. It impacts me, and therefore it has some kind of "reality".

I`m not yet sure how to release the "Goddess" inside of me though.
Does that mean I have to give up my raving on Stuart? I don`t really feel like I want to do that.

posted July 12, 2008 12:27 PM         

Interestingly his Valentine conjuncts my Anteros on 20° Scorpio, you know the Sabian Degree, we talked about today.
(and it opposes his Draconic Adonis, Anteros and Pluto nearly exactly and trines his tropical ASC).

posted July 12, 2008 01:07 PM         

Lemme see what I can find in your synastry on first glance:

- His MC on your Psyche, Chiron, Sun, AC, Karma-stellium - no surprise here; his public persona (MC) triggers a very personal side of you.

- Saturn-NN again?

- his Venus on your Vesta - don`t know what that means though

- his Sun, Vesta, Aphrodite on your Pluto: guess there would be some intensity going on between you.

- his Adonis conjunct your Adonis looks nice, too.

- his Amor on your VAlentine and MC looks very loving in regard to your career and public persona, too. He would probably love the way you present yourself in a public situation

- Anteros trine Anteros sounds nice, too

BTW I found something on Anteros

"Anteros
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search
For the 3rd century pope, see Pope Anterus.

Anteros by Alfred Gilbert, 1885; from the Shaftesbury Memorial in Piccadilly Circus.In Greek mythology, Anteros (Greek: Αντέρως, Anterôs) was the god of requited love, literally "love returned," and also the punisher of those who scorn love and the advances of others, or the avenger of unrequited love.

Anteros was the son of Ares and Aphrodite in Greek mythology, given to his brother Eros, who was lonely, as a playmate, the rationale being that love must be answered if it is to prosper.[1] Physically, he is depicted as similar to Eros in every way, but with long hair and plumed butterfly wings. He has been described also as armed with either a golden club or arrows of lead.[2]

Anteros, with Eros, was one of a host of winged love gods called Erotes, the ever-youthful winged gods of love, usually depicted as winged boys in the company of Aphrodite or her attendant goddesses. The term was also used for the love which arises in the beloved boy in a pederastic relationship.

An altar to this god was put up by the metics in Athens in commemoration of the spurned love of the metic Timagoras who was rejected by the young Athenian Meles. Upon hearing Timagoras' declaration of love for him, the young man mockingly ordered him to throw himself down from the top of a tall rock. Seeing Timagoras dead, the youth repented and threw himself down from the same rock.[3]

Describing the nature of the emotion, Plato asserts that it is the result of the great love that a lover has for a boy. The lover, inspired by the beauty of the boy, is filled with divine love and it overflows from him to the boy, "filling the soul of the loved one with love in return." As a result, the boy falls in love with his lover, though he neither thinks nor speaks of it as love, but as friendship. His experience of pain when the two are apart, and relief when they are together, the mirror image of the lover's feelings, is anteros, or "counter-love."[4]

So if I see it rightly, then it means that first the other one has to SHOW you his love or affection, but that if he does, you will return this love,w hen Anteros is triggered.
Or how do you understand it?

posted July 12, 2008 05:43 PM         

Btw, I have no idea if you guys mentioned this site, but even if you did, it's worth rementioning . http://handson.provocateuse.com/
(yup, I also have a thing for hands... Mars in the 3rd? )

posted July 12, 2008 05:58 PM         

I guess his Sagittarius-Sun must appeal to your Sagittarius-Moon.

We actually have the same Sun-Moon-combo, Sun in Sag and Moon in Aqua.
And his Venus conjuncts my Mars (exactly), my ASC and NN.
His Mars opposes my Draconic Venus - mmh, now let`s think about why I exactly chose him over Jeremy Irons. lol

However, Hayden is very cute, but somehow doesn`t do it for me; maybe he looks too "nice"?
But the third pic, o la la.

posted July 12, 2008 06:40 PM         

EVen though I was in my "John Cusack"-phase back then (his Sun opposes my Venus exactly, his Venus opposes my Mars, and my Eros conjunct his Psyche, but that`s about it - and I am long over this phase. ).

posted July 12, 2008 06:45 PM         

Sort of off topic... but we've mentioned Jeremy, and John, so the next myster man would have to be Gary.

I think he's a love-him-or-hate-him kind of beau, you know?

posted July 12, 2008 08:53 PM         

yeah, hayden is really cute. what really puts me off him is that he's so young. physically he's very much a man, except for his face - he still has that boyishness, which doesn't appeal to me. i wouldn't underestimate him though, i think he'd be a very skilled lover. don't write the boy off just yet dd. when i see him i always wonder how he's going to age. his face will age beautifully - his lips will carry his features, but i think he'll lose his hair early on. time will tell.

i'd like to see our astrology. in the astrotheme section where you can find your celebrity match by switching mars and venus positions (for sexual compatability) - he's one of mine. don't think there'd be fireworks in real life - somehow don't think i'm his type. or that he's mine.

posted July 12, 2008 08:56 PM         

gary oldman. he used to hold appeal for me when i was younger - the real bad boy thing - but when you look behind that image there are some REAL serious issues there. WAAAYYYYY too much hard work for me. besides, the guy was married to uma thurman - who could ever compete with the history of that?

posted July 12, 2008 09:00 PM         

interesting thing about hayden - the movie awake - that happened to me when i was 7 - i wasn't awake the whole time - i haven't seen the movie so i don't know how "awake" he is - but i woke up during the operation and i can remember every detail of the conversation between the doctor and nurse - but i don't remember feeling anything - like pain, etc.

as for anakin. i am drawn to people who have personal inner demons but killing children (younglings in the movie) nah! it just takes the sex appeal out of a guy for me. must be just a me thing! and the lines in the movie - so so bad. but i'm a huge star wars fan. no.3 tied in the storylines nicely but it was a bit dodgy.

posted July 12, 2008 09:09 PM         

you and your delusions need serious help. gary oldman, ralph fiennes. you really need a man that you can save. oh, so so bad, girlfriend. zip appeal for me.

here's a question for you.

okay - so you meet rafe (notice we are all mocking him now by calling him "RAFE") and you meet and lock eyes. in your fantasy - does he:
a) give in to his intense passion feelings for you immediately, or
b) does he need to overcome some personal internal conflict first before he gives in in some final passionate all consuming moment where he realises he NEEDS desperately to be with you - no, change that - where he just needs to be with you?

posted July 12, 2008 11:24 PM         

In regards to your A or B question, i truly don't think that i even need to respond to you question. You already know what my choice would be. You know what i was going to choose when you were typing the statement. B.

After that, what would happen? Exactly what i have been preaching about, what i have been gushing about. We would become each other's organs. We would become each other's water and wine. We would merge into one soul. I would gain his trust, and in return, i would be given the chance to allow someone else to take care of me. I'm not looking for sexual satisfaction... from anyone. I need more than that. Sex is unnecessary without love. For me at least. And i'm really not interested in anyone whom i feel cannot grant me emotional emancipation.

Does that make any sense?

posted July 12, 2008 11:28 PM         

You and i are freaking twins, i swear. When i was writing the Gary Oldman post, i was thinking of Daniel Day Lewis. I didn't want to post anything about DDL because i was thinking that my Gary Oldman question would be unanswered.

It's our Mars in Taurus. DDL has Sun and Venus in Taurus. Eh heh hehheh heh heh heheh...*starts to laugh and ramble nonsense*