posted July 14, 2008 04:40 PM         

DD,

i remember you had a lot of stuff touching your ACTOR. "NO WONDER I'M OBSESSED WITH ACTORS!!!!"

Lmao.

I have ACTOR 19* in Virgo.

My ACTOR:
-Sextiles my Venus
-Sextiles my Chiron
-Trines my Mars
-Sextiles my Pluto
-Trines my Saturn
-Opposes my Nemesis
-Opposes my Karma
-Semi-sextiles my MC
-Squares my Eros
-Conjunct my Telephus
-Conjunct my Aphrodite
-Squares my Vertex
-Trines my Vesta

posted July 14, 2008 04:50 PM         

Wow oh wow. Did i ever laugh out loud at that. I just can't get away from SCORPIO!

My Talent is:
-Conjunct my Juno
-Conjunct my Pluto
-Conjunct my Valentine
-Conjunct my ASC
-Opposite my Sappho
-Square my Sun
-Square my Moon
-Sextile my Mercury
-Opposite my Mars
-Sextile my Neptune

posted July 14, 2008 04:57 PM         

"I feel the same. Retreating in this thread and your other thread has been similar for me. I'd rather think about actors and their characters instead of my messy love life. But that is alright. That is their purpose. They are at our disposal, we can do whatever we want with them in our fantasy."

I don't feel that way EXACTLY. I do have an emotional attachment to these actors. I'm not saying that i'm in love with them, but i do have feelings invested in them. I'd like to get close to them. Know their thoughts. Their feelings. Learn their stories. Their habits. Their faults. I may joke around, but they're not just pretty pictures. They're people.

DD,

posted July 14, 2008 05:05 PM         

LOL! I'm glad the Sabians were the right ones.
Hayden is not IT, though we have a nice synastry. I think him and PA are better though (no, actually, I think me and PA are IT ).

posted July 14, 2008 05:14 PM         

yes, well, I didn`t say I would like to talk to Jude, even though you picked up this secret dream inside me. Yes, I would add him here, too.
Actually I wouldn`t run away to talk to any of these actors. Talking to Ewan sounds like fun, too.

Difference between Stuart and Jude for me is that I respect Stuart, or at least what i have seen in interviews, and that he seems so down to earth and not arrogant at all.
And putting my raving aside for a moment, I think I would really like him.

Izo,

"o, actually, I think me and PA are IT )."
I am jealous now.

" think I miss him"
Whom? Hayden?

posted July 14, 2008 05:15 PM         

I think you might like this guy:

posted July 14, 2008 05:21 PM         

you are a VERY talented girl.

posted July 14, 2008 05:21 PM         

I'm sorry that i was so presumptuous. I just got that feeling from you.

When it comes to Stuart i have this feeling that you are almost longing for him. You feel that he could perhaps fill this gap inside you that exists, despite whether or not you wish to admit it. You say you respect him, but i think that were you to see him, everything around you would melt into one. The colors would blur, the music would stop and you wouldn't be able to think. You would be bewildered. The feeling is so intense.

posted July 14, 2008 05:24 PM         

"Oh btw your Talent is conjunct my draconic Eros, Vertex and Pan. lol"

posted July 14, 2008 05:28 PM         

Oh Meta, girl, *deep sigh* You ARE talented.

However, he`s Charlize`s man, he`s in LA, I donīt even know him.
I also know that noone else can fill this gap inside my soul; actually I have never felt as whole as I have been feeling for the last two days. At peace with myself.

And yet you`re right, I canīt deny there are some subtle, or not so subtle, feelings of longing, not because I feel empty, but just because. No why. They just exist because I exist.
However, it is also true that I DO respect him and like him. And I`m not blind to reality.

Still, yes, he affects me in a way, right now, in a very strong way.
But I`ll ride it out, like I do everytime this happens (it`s not my first Stuart-phase, you know?); I try enjoy those feelings I have (and it`s not really horrible to feel this way), I know about the boundaries, and they will pass again.

But for now I like OBSESSING about him, true to my Venus-Pluto-square and his Pluto squaring my Venus. lol

DD

posted July 14, 2008 05:41 PM         

Rule 1:
My ASC trine his Moon
(his ASC sextile my Valentine)

Rule 2:
his Moon trine my NN
his Venus conjunct my Valentine (2°12)
his Saturn trine my Moon
his Saturn conjunct my Karma
his Amor conjunct my Moon
his Amor trine my Karma

in the Draconics:

Rule 1:
my DR ASC conjunct his DSC
his DR ASC Conjunct my NN

Rule 2:
his DR Sun trine my Dr Saturn
his DR VEnus trine my Pluto
his DR Pluto trine my DR Sun

I left out all the oppositions and Vertex, IC and so on, just sticking to IQ`s rules, even though personally I think oppositions, Vertex, IC, Juno and Eros should definitely be included.

posted July 14, 2008 05:46 PM         

I didn't mean to touch a nerve, if i did.

posted July 14, 2008 05:50 PM         

maybe it`s your talent to draw out these insights about my deeply spiritual, and yet erotic nature, which has a very transformative effect on me?

When I read your post about the man you are not supposed to love I KNEW it would lead me back to my own feelings for Paul, I KNEW I would have to go back how I felt with 19, when my world fell apart.
This 17° Aries-Sun of his has really sent me to hell and back again.

But with sending this mail I really feel like I have finished what i had to finish, at least, regarding my crush for him.
The best antidote for dreams sometimes is reality, I guess.
I think I just realized that I`m not stuck in this hell anymore; I guess I sort of have been born again.

Okay, it`s after 11.p.m tonight, so don`t take me serious (as I mentioned in another post: don`t take serious what i write shortly before midnight. I am strange at best then.)

DD

posted July 14, 2008 05:54 PM         

thank you.

What you have just done for me, I have waited for for 18 years, for someone telling me that I don`t have to be ashamed of what I feel.

So, thank you.

And the thing is I`ve just realized that myself, and basically moments after I realized that, within my heart, you wrote that.

You`re amazing.

posted July 14, 2008 05:58 PM         

Synastry wise, The ASC connections between you two (assuming that we have his BT right) look powerful. It would explain that outward draw to him.

And i think i saw you write something about a Venus/Valentine connection. Deadly. There would inevitibly a deep cut in both of you. And by cut, i am speaking in romantic terms.

As for me being meant to draw this out of you, i suppose that could be accurate. When i read what you write, and how you try to dismiss all of your feelings as juvenille, i get frustrated. Because they're not. They aren't meaningless. They DO care validity.

posted July 14, 2008 06:04 PM         

I'm not amazing, i'm... sensitive. That's all. Nothing grand, nothing special.

posted July 14, 2008 06:18 PM         

I needed that, and I welcomed the opportunity. It was a chance for me.
If I had wanted to run away again, I would have stayed away from that topic, as I have in the beginning. But there comes a time, when you just don`t want to run anymore. There`s no sense in running away, because the one you`re running away from, is always with you: You.
Or as Meatloaf sang: "You can`t run away from your heart."

I`m sorry if I frustrate you, but I somehow want to not lose myself too much in dreams and imaginations, because I have been there and I was rudely awaken, and I`m not sure I would survive it another time. Heck, a part of me didn`T even survive the first time. But probably it was the part I needed to grow out.

However, I try to be realistic or at least appear that way, when deep inside I am not. I am no realist, never have been. I am a dreamer. That`s all I have ever been. How could I be a realist with Neptune conjunct Mars, NN and ASC and ruler of ASC in Pisces squaring NEptune exactly?
I`m living in dreams. I just have to take care that I don`t get stuck in them and then they turn to nightmares. That`s what I`m trying to do here.

I could tell you that everytime someone writes his name here, my heart is skipping a beat. And everytime I see just a short scene with him, I`m telling myself that I`m not affected at all, and yet I can feel shivers running down my back. And I could tell you, that whenever I hear his voice, `my face just breaks into a smile. And that when I read his words, what he thinks, I feel so proud of him, that I could explode.

Are those feelings real? Yes, they are. Because feelings don`t ask for reality. Are those feelings reasonable? No, of course not.

I`m sorry if that is too frustrating. ASk me about being frustrated.

Yes, interesting line up in the synastry, which I called mediocre some days ago as I remember.

his Venus is on 25° Scorpio, his Juno on 27° Scorpio and my Valentine is also on 27° Scorpio.

his Valentine is on 09° Cancer, his Osiris is on 06° Cancer, my Draconic Juno is on 07° Cancer and all of this opposes my Venus on 06° Capricorn, my Isis and Osiris on 08° Capricorn.

In the Draconics his Isis on 27° Libra conjuncts my Union on 30° Libra and opposes my Venus on 26° ARies, my Isis on 28° Aries and my Osiris on 27° Aries.

So in the first case a line up of his VEnus, Juno and my Valentine, all in my 12th house of course.

In the second caes a line up of his Valentine, Osiris, my dr Juno and my Venus, Isis and Osiris. (from my 7th to my 1st house)

and in the third his draconic Isis, my draconic Venus, dr Isis and dr Osiris. (from my 10th to my 4th house).

And donīt forget about his Mars, DR Anteros and my Anteros on 20° Scorpio. (conjunct my 12th house cusp)

posted July 14, 2008 06:26 PM         

I would have told everybody this and I would have meant it - for others.
But it was always slightly different when it came to me. The feelings of guilt. I know there is NO reason for feeling guilty. But I needed to learn that.
So I think it`s wonderful that you are not like that. You should never be ashamed of what you feel.

In my opinion it`s not what someone feels that he or she could be ashamed of, but what they do. But even that is all a matter of perspective.
WEll, not everything is a matter of perspective, but when it comes to the emotional stuff, everyone has their own opinion and truth I guess.

I think I should go to bed now. Bye.

posted July 14, 2008 06:30 PM         

This is slightly off topic, but what does OUR synastry look like? If i gave you my info, would you do a chart and post it so that i could really look at the effects we have on eacho other?

****

posted July 14, 2008 06:43 PM         

you know what? You have been born in the summer, that I spent dreaming of Paul.

So your birthday is like the cristallized chart of that timeperiod for me. No wonder YOU were the one to get me facing this time again.

But now I really am going to bed. Looking at the synastry tomorrow. But there is some interesting stuff like Moon conjunct Moon / IC; Psyche - DSC-conjunction, Chiron/VEnus-Vertex, DEstinn-conjunction, Uranus-Venus-conjunction.

posted July 14, 2008 09:49 PM         

You can take it down.

You're the red.