Author
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Topic: zala
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PeaceAngel Knowflake Posts: 1755 From: Australia Registered: May 2008
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posted July 17, 2008 09:44 AM
ddi think a lot of people confuse love with sex. and these are two very separate functions. sure they can be united as one. but its not the most frequent expression. i don't believe anyway. this ache - from this singer - that lasted two days - are you highly sensitive and picked up something that he was feeling - or past life even - or did he stir so much in you and you are not being honest with yourself and you are fighting feelings for him - even if you don't want them - or especially if you don't want them? IP: Logged |
PeaceAngel Knowflake Posts: 1755 From: Australia Registered: May 2008
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posted July 17, 2008 09:47 AM
ddi would say that you are afraid of what he may allow you to feel. i may be wrong (god, that doesn't happen often, does it - lol!). just go. it will resolve this issue for you. i think you are afraid to love. but the more you resist it the harder it will knock. i'm not saying jump this guy or go out with him. i'm saying - just open yourself to the possibility to feel love and to feel being loved. and open yourself to the possibility that it can be something wonderful and special and just good. IP: Logged |
PeaceAngel Knowflake Posts: 1755 From: Australia Registered: May 2008
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posted July 17, 2008 09:50 AM
ddthis person you have listed - why couldn't or wouldn't he exist? tortured. you are tortured by your own denial of your own feelings. it only breeds negatively physically. its not good. the heart needs love and mating is the most natural thing for us. from the way you believe right now, you will never allow yourself the security to allow yourself the freedom to feel those things you desperately yearn to feel. its not about someone else coming and awakening them - its allowing yourself to be open to them. IP: Logged |
PeaceAngel Knowflake Posts: 1755 From: Australia Registered: May 2008
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posted July 17, 2008 09:56 AM
ddyes, the charts - sorry - you did post them the other night too. i didn't ignore you purposely - there is so much content in this thread. lol! it's easy to move forward and miss something. i totally forgot to comment on the two pics of one guy that meta posted the other day. we move so quickly. well, i think the psyche conjuncts is telling you something - loud and clear! sun conjuncts - uhuh! umm, merc, moon, suns - yep! valentine and anteros - ah, yeah! venus trine mars - okay. WHAT - do you really want me to make comment. doesn't that speak for itself! lol! why do you resist - especially if you are feeling it inside? well, stupid question, because you resist BECAUSE you are feeling it inside. but what would happen if you gave in to it? seriously? do you fear being abandoned? rejected? unloved? is there something so bad or damaged about you that doesn't deserve love? or makes you so unlovable? IP: Logged |
darkdreamer Knowflake Posts: 2727 From: Germany Registered: Aug 2006
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posted July 17, 2008 10:00 AM
PA,yes, you hit the nail on its head (does such a proverb exist in English?), I have decided that "extasy" and that "depth of a real feeling" is not for me. And Patrick, I was very overwhelmed, how strongly I reacted to him; it actually got stronger the closer I was to him. Usually, this feeling goes away the closer (physical) I am to someone, just with him it didn`T. I expected it to fade away. That was one of the reasons I went to see him after the show. To PROVE to myself that it is all just because he is on stage, an actor, creative and that it`s just the way he portrays a character on stage, and then the moment he looked at me (and basically ignored the ohter girls there, which was a very unusual experience for me in itself. lol), and we started talking, something just happened. I still don`t know what exactly happened. But I mean, that was real life, in a way at least (maybe not as real as talking to a colleague of mine), and iat felt more intense than most dreams I have ever dreamed. And as I said I was terrified. I mean I know it`s just me, but I am scared to see him again on a stage. I am scared that that feeling could still be there. I want it to be gone. Also, I know I would not approach him again. And I am sure he wouldn`t recognize me. *sighs* Well, it doesn`t matter anyway. I don`t even know that guy, and he`s got a girlfriend, even though that is nothing of my business either. And I don`t understand why I am even thinking of it. Well,I guess, I am going to go there and will hide in one of the middle rows. So I can see him, without being seen, just as I like it. I mean he was so amazingly nice; not just that he is a great actor, charming, with the brightest smile you could imagine, he is also nice (as far as I can judge that from talking to him for these few minutes. lol); hey he even got his mobile out and called his mother to get his exact birthtime, so I could do his chart, which I still have to give to him. *Deep sigh* Oh regarding the Black knight, of course there is a redeeming quality about him; he just never fit in into society, and had been an outcast (Robin Hood comes to mind , even though I think I might even have more a thing for the "baddies" in such novels); he had been treated unfairly and he just wants to right the injustice done to him and others, and the princess, well actually she is quite glad that he had taken her away from her golden cage. Of course she would never admit it, quite the opposite: she would be INDIGNATED about that assault on her freedom, but actually int he end, she`s freeer than she could ever have been as a princess. And of course there is a LOT Of verbal banter between them, and all of this fighting, it`s really only sexual, or the futile attempt to resist and hide the sexual attraction. lol
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PeaceAngel Knowflake Posts: 1755 From: Australia Registered: May 2008
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posted July 17, 2008 10:26 AM
ddyou know - as appealing as the black knight seems - especially after having been redeemed - haven't you even just once liked the bad guy just because he was really really bad. in the movie first knight - when malagant tears guinevere's dress off her - how disappointing that he only ripped her dress - what was wrong with the man - that he showed no physical desire for this woman! he looked at her like he should. but he didn't exhibit it. every now and then, i just want the bad guy to just be bad - no redemption. IP: Logged |
darkdreamer Knowflake Posts: 2727 From: Germany Registered: Aug 2006
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posted July 17, 2008 10:26 AM
Yes, I think, I fear of being rejected, which is the most likeliest option. I`m not really the pretty or beautiful type.And yes he stirs something up inside me, and I resist, because I feel. I know that only I can change that, but that doesn`T make it really easy. Well, I am going to go and face my fears after all. No matter how much I ache inside, and how unsettling this feeling is (it not ONLY unpleasant, as you well know. ), I`m going to face it. That is rather new. I have always been a good runner, when it comes to feelings. But something about him is just different. I actually dreamed of him in the beginning of last week. *Sighs* And talking of the Psyche-Psyche-conjunction, which actually had been conjuncted by Transit Neptune on the day we met (and all that time surrounding it of course). And after that I have had the strangest night. I was feeling different, and only halfasleep, and I could HEAR him talk about me to his friends. I mean really physically hear. I didn`T make out what exactly he said, just that there was someone wanting to make his horoscope for him. It was very bizarre, because it was not really a dream. I heard it as if through a veil. It was strange, but I think my nerves may just have been a bit oversensitized and that Psyche-psyche-conjunction might have had a minor influence, too. Do you remember how we talked about that Sabian, on which Stuart`s Mars nad my Anteros fall? The one with the secret pathway analogy? patrick`s Valentine is at the exact same point. And when I remember it right, in the Davison there is a Venus-Mars-conjunction (even though squared by Saturn of course ); And if you prefer the Composite Eros is trine Venus and exactly quinkunx Pluto (a mystical triangle), which of course means there is an exact Venus-Pluto-square in the composite. Venus is also widely conjunct Moon and widely square Mars. Well, I somehow feel the urge to look into that synastry a bit more closely, evne though I really don`t need astrology to tell me that he made a deep impact on me. If I like it or not. DD IP: Logged |
PeaceAngel Knowflake Posts: 1755 From: Australia Registered: May 2008
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posted July 17, 2008 10:29 AM
ddinteresting observation of the women in these roles - yes, they are usually fiesty and very independent - until this man comes along. interesting analogy - and how it relates to you actually. IP: Logged |
darkdreamer Knowflake Posts: 2727 From: Germany Registered: Aug 2006
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posted July 17, 2008 10:31 AM
PA,I know what you mean. I think it`s the thought of the black knight being "mad with crazy burning desire" for the woman. Which woman would`n`t be wanted that way? Of course only if, at least secretely, she wants him the same way. IP: Logged |
PeaceAngel Knowflake Posts: 1755 From: Australia Registered: May 2008
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posted July 17, 2008 10:33 AM
ddwith patrick. i say let all defenses down. not meaning that something will come of it - especially as you said, he has a girlfriend. but just let it awaken what needs to be (including that sabian) because i think that awareness and awakening takes you someplace else where you may find some happiness and peace. just go with it. flow with it - don't force - just flow, just be - and see where it takes you - inside yourself. and don't feel guilty about feeling wonderful. or, even sexual. i'm a big believer in utilising the body for attaining higher places, rather than negating it to do so. can you honestly tell me anything more physically balancing than orgasm? truly. IP: Logged |
darkdreamer Knowflake Posts: 2727 From: Germany Registered: Aug 2006
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posted July 17, 2008 10:35 AM
Yes, I think I really want to be "swept away" with no really choice. But I don`t want to give up my independence.So, for me the best solution in such a tale would be, if both were swept away and equal partners (therefore the verbal banter and a struggle of willpower) and that both would be FREE. You know I think deep inside I want to stay FREE, but how great would it be, if I could be FREE with someone I feel passionately for. I guess, that is more ARies than Scorpio-passion, isn`t it? IP: Logged |
PeaceAngel Knowflake Posts: 1755 From: Australia Registered: May 2008
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posted July 17, 2008 10:42 AM
ddyeah, i think that is more aries than scorpy passion. but i think that's balanced. you can maintain your independence and your sense of self - which i think you are really afraid of losing. you're too strong to lose your independence. it's that identity - that me becomes we and how women lose their identity in their "roles" - suddenly you become such and such's girlfriend, wife or mother. IP: Logged |
PeaceAngel Knowflake Posts: 1755 From: Australia Registered: May 2008
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posted July 17, 2008 10:44 AM
ddso go with it - and let yourself be free. what have you got to lose? what have you got to gain? and maybe experiencing that with someone would make you feel the freedom you truly desire. IP: Logged |
PeaceAngel Knowflake Posts: 1755 From: Australia Registered: May 2008
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posted July 17, 2008 10:45 AM
ddsometimes i think we forget that we have choices. i see it all the time with people. give yourself more options than others do or you think are available to you. so, CREATE the relationship that you want - with the balance the way you desire it - make it a way that works perfectly for you. IP: Logged |
PeaceAngel Knowflake Posts: 1755 From: Australia Registered: May 2008
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posted July 17, 2008 10:46 AM
you can do thatIP: Logged |
PeaceAngel Knowflake Posts: 1755 From: Australia Registered: May 2008
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posted July 17, 2008 10:46 AM
did izo say what kind of surgery she was having or when she'd be back?IP: Logged |
darkdreamer Knowflake Posts: 2727 From: Germany Registered: Aug 2006
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posted July 17, 2008 10:46 AM
I couldn`t resist and tried the adze report:From the Davison: This relationship is neither superficial or casual. You exude intense personal responses from one another. The effects you have on each other are long lasting. Put another way, profound and inevitable elements of fate cause you to transform one another The relationship is anything but dispassionate. You arouse strong feelings in each other. In fact, you could find yourselves on an emotional roller-coaster ride punctuated by some emotional loop- de-loops. You enjoy each other's company. You can share some jokes, good times and social activities together. You are friends and share a sense of well being Feelings and sentiments run high. It is not easy for you to understand the true nature of this relationship You have such a strong effect on each other that you take each other to the depths. This is not necessarily bad. Your feelings for each other run so deep that you can expect an emotional catharsis and perhaps a regeneration or renewal Communication is good. It is relatively easy for the two of you to share your emotions. You can tell each other what you feel. You could share and develop common interest in the fields of arts and entertainment You stimulate each other's intellect. Your words have rousing effects on one another. You push each other to learn new things and have new experiences. You may actually enjoy some verbal sparring
You stimulate each other's intellect. You challenge each other's world view. At times you may read each other's minds and finish each other's sentences Your conversation is flavored by deep analysis and psychological awareness. Because of the strong magnetic attraction, it was almost inevitable that the two of you were drawn together. Feelings and expectations run high. Emotions are intense. You arouse each other. You push each other to the breaking point. There is an urgent need for physical expression. It is probably a noisy relationship. Anger or love, the choice is yours. There is strong attraction here. You can create fulfillment and material success together. This can be a good personal as well as professional relationship. You can help each other feel happy, optimistic and lucky. You can share an abundance of love and affection. You genuinely like each other and can enjoy social as well as sporting events together. Because reality often gets in the way of a good time, this relationship is somewhat problematic. Personal expression can be sublimated and subordinated to practical considerations. Because duty and responsibility are paramount, spontaneity and satisfaction may be stifled. Previous commitments or inhibitions could be issues. Don't be surprised to find yourselves transformed by the extreme passions, pleasures and experiences you share. This is anything but a casual relationship and cannot be taken lightly. You two will dredge up deep emotions in each other Before this relationship can work, there are serious obstacles to be overcome. Unexpected, uncommon and unpredictable turns of events will guarantee that the two of you will be anything but bored with each other This relationship will be marked by powerful transformations and strong physical drives Transformation seems to be a keyphrase here, and I guess I am reacting strongly tot hat kind of energy.
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PeaceAngel Knowflake Posts: 1755 From: Australia Registered: May 2008
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posted July 17, 2008 10:49 AM
ddthat just confirms what you were sensing. deep transformation - whichever way you look at it. even if its mutual or even if its something that is awakened and opened purely inside you. but don't just limit it to him - even if he's the catalyst for the awakening and the feelings - just be open to it coming from somewhere else to. if you are open to feelng these things and experiencing them - be open to allowing the perfect person to come in and sharing them. IP: Logged |
PeaceAngel Knowflake Posts: 1755 From: Australia Registered: May 2008
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posted July 17, 2008 10:52 AM
ddyou could write a list (a wish list) - of everything you desire in your perfect partner and/or your perfect relationship and ask the universe to manifest it for you. or ask for the perfect person at the perfect time. either way - release it and trust. i suggest this to you - because it's a win-win situation. and if you write the list - write EVERYTHING - even things that seem impossible - you don't get if you don't ask. IP: Logged |
PeaceAngel Knowflake Posts: 1755 From: Australia Registered: May 2008
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posted July 17, 2008 10:55 AM
ddit's nearly 1am here. i'm going to go to sleep. enjoy your day. here's some advice that i may be good to listen to and follow as well - switch off your mind sometimes - and just feel or just be. ah, so hard for such mental creatures. to busy analysing everything that's happening. but try anyway. i will try it too. it may be very healing, actually. freeing even. to be freed from the constant questions of the mind and the doubts. IP: Logged |
darkdreamer Knowflake Posts: 2727 From: Germany Registered: Aug 2006
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posted July 17, 2008 11:02 AM
PA,yes, I think I should do that, go with the flow. That is what I`ve been working to learn how to do it for the last year, and I`m becoming a little better with it everyday. And yes, I feel freer and happier than I have done in many years. But this "new" attitude has to compete with a lot of past baggage, I had been so used to "forbid" myself to feel, dream, whatever, that it`s not so easy to do that now, and now and then it becomes scary to me. Oh I didn`T know Izo was having a surgery. I hope she is doing well.
Even if it bores you (yes, I know, it does ), I will post the synastry results from adze, too. At heart, you are two of a kind
DD understands Patrick. The two of you can get very close very fast. You can comfort each other, nourish each other and understand each other. Patrick knows how to please DD. Patrick can sway DD with natural charm and style and maybe even a song. Patrick's genuine respect and compliments are effective and can have miraculous effects on DD. To Patrick, DD may be social, warm-hearted and affectionate
There is a serious tone to this relationship. DD may feel held back or restrained by Patrick. To DD, Patrick may come across as an authority figure DD, you may need to become a little less sensitive and a little more willing to pull yourself up by the boot straps Like a bolt out of the blue, there is something brilliant, unexpected and original about this relationship DD could find Patrick to be glamorous, charismatic and even hypnotic. This could be an ideal or fantasy relationship. DD would be wise to take off the rose colored glasses and get another perspective on Patrick. Patrick could bring refined aesthetic tastes, original art and live music into the relatio It would be good for DD to cook soup and stews for Patrick - Lol not in a million years. I`m no cook. There is a deep connection here. You two will push each other to do more, be more and have more. Patrick could bring out the star qualities in DD LOL
There is a dynamic power in this relationship. To tap into that power you two are encouraged to be creative- perhaps in front of an audience. You can bring each other good luck and happiness, although Patrick may feel that DD is too much and DD may have expectations for Patrick that are unrealistic There's something mysterious happening here. The union of DD and Patrick will have its share of soul searching.
There is a fundamental similarity between the two of you
Good humor and wit can establish this friendship. Patrick and DD share some convictions and intense conversation. You can cultivate a genuine interest in each other. Together you can share intellectual and emotional growth, dreams and literary interests The two of you can share a number of philosophical and intellectual interests You two are naturally curious about each other You two like each other and are generous with each other. Patrick brings out the very best in DD. There's something very deep going on here. Intense attraction is indicated. Romantic and physical energies are in effect. This is not a casual, superficial or shallow relationship. Patrick feels genuine affection for DD, and the feeling is mutual. You two can enjoy each other's company, have fun and share pleasures together Feelings between Patrick and DD run hot and high. Emotions are intense. OK. This is a classic case of attraction, passion and excitement. A very physical dynamic wants to play out in this relationship ( I know that it can`t be expressed, but it seems to be existent, at least on my side of the equation) There's some brisk communication and strong mental energy indicated here. Lively communiqués are probable. DD can stimulate Patrick to action. Arguing, disputes and disagreements are also indicated Challenging magnetic appeal draws Patrick and DD together. The force of fantasy is strongly at work/play here. You two can share a strange openness. Quick inspiration, potent psychic vibrations, and stimulating spirits give this relationship a major romantic lift. On the other hand, Patrick could find that DD is more promise than delivery. IP: Logged |
darkdreamer Knowflake Posts: 2727 From: Germany Registered: Aug 2006
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posted July 17, 2008 11:11 AM
PA,good idea with the list. I will give it a thorough thought, or maybe rather a feeling? Yes, and I`m going to be open to myself and anyone around me,, not just Patrick. You know, I say I want to be free and I really want to, but the only one who is locking me up is myself. I try to change that. Goodnight. IP: Logged |
PeaceAngel Knowflake Posts: 1755 From: Australia Registered: May 2008
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posted July 18, 2008 12:34 AM
ddhow would you interpret this in synastry - north node & destinn conjunct ic? IP: Logged |
darkdreamer Knowflake Posts: 2727 From: Germany Registered: Aug 2006
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posted July 18, 2008 03:44 AM
PA,I would think this might be a very strong soul-connection between two people. Blashke wrote that the NN conjunct IC seems to appear most often in the cases of true soulmates. Even though I can`t confirm that completely, it seems to imply a very deep bond. The lifepath of one person (even emphasiszed with Destinn there) connects to the home, family and the core of the soul of the other person. Maybe they have known each other in a more public environment (SN conjunct MC) and now meet again to deepen that relationship. BTW I also was VERY sceptical towards asteroids; but the results were so overwhelming. Which asteroids do you prefer in synastry? EDIT: 2nd BTW I dreamed of Jude Law two nights ago, that I was writing and sending a letter to "Mr. Law", and since then I am in a really crappy mood. I can`t explain it. But I feel almost like Ì`m boiling inside, and not the good way. I have no idea why that is. It feels like there is someone sitting inside my soul pointing her finger accusingly and shrieking: "You, you have to ruin everything again, don`t you?" That is VERY strange. DD IP: Logged |
PeaceAngel Knowflake Posts: 1755 From: Australia Registered: May 2008
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posted July 18, 2008 07:42 AM
ddi don't know about synastry. i'm so so new to asteroids. i do think that sappho seems to stand out. and anteros. aphrodite and also adonis is interesting for the ideal man. i'm kind of looking to everyone else still - i don't have enough information on the asteroids and meanings themselves and i'm trying to find that and then to apply it. so, i'm in a good place with them in that i'm open but it's frustrating because there don't seem to be enough resources or information at the moment to feed the amount of information and stimulation for me. typical - when my enthusiasm is there - i immerse myself. i was sceptical about asteroids at first but they're starting to fit and makes sense and it's like anything - once you get past that element of resistence - you just decide to go for it - and that's where i am. it's fitting so it's working so i have the interest and momentum. maybe with the dream you're feeling that you can't control your self - as in - control your subconscious/unconscious - and you are disappointed with yourself for "allowing" yourself to dream about him - because you don't understand the nature of this connection and because you kind of feel its incredulous because he's famous and don't see any possibilities there - so you feel foolish about it. i sometimes dream about someone that i was with 20 years ago and get angry with myself that they still pop up in my dream - like, what is wrong with me that this person still haunts me in my sleep/subconscious. it makes me angry with myself more than anything else. IP: Logged | |