posted July 19, 2008 09:21 PM         

Don't party too hard.

posted July 20, 2008 08:27 AM         

no, i wasn't saying in any way that your type of romance is any of the things you have mentioned there. i was just saying that personally i can't see how it is functional. i understand it and what you want. it's not for me any more than mine is for you. there's no judgement there. everyone has their ideals - at all ages. that never changes but the ideals shift along the way - and that's with experience. it's a natural progression. i'd like to sit here with you again in ten years time and see if you like or even want the same things - in a man, a relationship or in life.

all feelings fluctuate - even in the most intense of relationships - and i don't see how that level of intensity can be maintained constantly. because even if someone was feeling down or tired or whatever even for a moment their momentum would slip which would cause enormous insecurity in the other person - simply because that feeling has been withdrawn. you're relying a lot on the other person feeding your own feelings and sense of security. and no matter how much you want to be their one and only, there are other people and other factors in their life. they have work, studies, a business even, friends, family, ex-partners, pets, they may come with children and their own dreams which they are devoted to and baggage. i'm not saying that what you desire is not possible or unbalanced or sick or anything really - i'm just saying i don't see how it's functional without tearing each other apart - inside out. i've seen these relationships there is an ENORMOUS amount of manipulation that goes on within them to keep them going on any kind of track. i just don't see how they work.

i've told you before - i don't judge and i don't judge you. what works for me may not work for you and vice versa. different things for different people. but i'm also aware that things work in cycles and a big part of your ideals stems from where you are in your life - purely from your age and stage, no matter how incredibly mature you are - because you really really are. we are at different ends of the same spectrum. and you remind me a great deal of myself when i was around your age. and i like you a great deal - think you're quite stellar actually. very smart, very sassy.

posted July 20, 2008 08:52 AM         

okay - i've got it. it drives me mad when i can't get to the core of something - but this is it.

i don't understand, and therefore don't see, how the type of relationship you are yearning/idealising can have any permanence.

posted July 20, 2008 12:02 PM         

Actually, he's 39... yes...

And he's quite witty. Completely clever. He's original, innovative, and hilarious.

Hmm... i understand the need for his lover to also be his friend, but i didn't sense the parent issues. Maybe with his father. He never talks about him. But he likes his mother i do believe. And he has the whole Sun/Moon conjunction going on.

posted July 20, 2008 12:11 PM         

I didnt think it was your intention to make me feel that way, but i have thin skin. I bruise easily, you know? Of course you know, because you're hypersensitive as well.

But i think you're marvelous. I love your charm and humor. So when you speak, or write i should say, i take your opinion very much into consideration. I don't want you to think that i just write you off just because we happen to differ. Just because we have Venus square Venus!

Anywho, i understand how you could think that such a relationship or romance couldn't remain permenant. And you're right, it would be exhausting. But that's the beauty of it. It transforms you both because the love and passion that exists between you two is so much bigger and greater than either person individually.

I know you said that you've known people who get involved in such circumstances and that a large amount of manipulation takes place. And you're right. It does. I've had this type of love once before. But that's sort of the trade off. WIth great love comes great hurt. With great passion comes great pain. It's inevitable. You can't have one without the other. ...Well, i guess you could, but again, it would be a different type of love.

Maybe it is because i'm at a different place in my life than you are in yours. But quite frankly, my dear, i don't give a damn!

posted July 21, 2008 05:24 PM         

How be ye?

posted July 21, 2008 10:13 PM         

he's not too old for me - christopher lambert. funniest thing - a frenchman playing a scotsman in the highlander movies. lol! but i love highlander, one of my favourites.

posted July 22, 2008 06:41 AM         

ah yes - agreed - not bad, not bad at all.

how have you been?

i must reply to meta.

posted July 22, 2008 06:59 AM         

i like that we differ in opinions and thoughts and tastes. it's what makes people and conversations interesting. if you are in agreeance with someone all the time there is no great interest there - it's nice, but it's also nice to see and learn from our differences too. see, with what you desire and also understand, i can learn and vice versa.

when i approach you with a remark or question it is to understand or query, not to judge.

i still think you can have that kind of love with a different expression.

yeah, i've seen the manipulation - just too much game playing for me. it's exhausting. someone upfront and honest - now that's refreshing - and well deserved.

thanks for the gone with the wind sample. i feel so so special. again - lol! - i'm not a fan.

posted July 22, 2008 10:11 AM         

I am exactly the opposite!

I hate Blockbuster movies. Hate them. I hate menial romantic comedies, and action-packed flicks, and cheap teen horror films. Yuck. They leave a bad taste in my mouth. They aren't entertaining. They contain meaningless plots. Mediocre acting. And when you leave the theater, or when you're done watching at home, you walk away without having been affected. Those films don't make an impression on you. Or, i should say don't make an impression on ME. They don't inspire ME. They leave me feeling cheated out of $8.

I mean, where is the acting? Where are the characters? Where is the brilliance? There isn't any! You can't find something that isn't there.

I'm a snob when it comes to movies. I prefer Indie and British films. THAT'S where the acting is. THAT'S where the talent, and drama, and romance, and inspiration is.

But then again, i'm biased. Because i'm an actor. So i'm probably looking at it from a different point than you. I dissect everything when i watch something. I don't really know if non-actors, or non-thespians do that.

And i hate TV. I watch 3 television shows, and all of them are on Showtime, so they aren't really considered TV anyways- Queer as Folk, Brotherhood, and The L Word.

Wow... i rambled there. My apologies.

posted July 22, 2008 10:18 AM         

I figured out why i love ralph's acting. Lookie here:

His Actor is 2* Taurus, mmk?

His Actor:
Trines my Uranus
Squares my True Node
Inconjuncts my Adonis
Squares my AMOR!!
Opposes my JUNO
Opposes my ASC
Opposes my Valentine

Yikes!

My Actor is 19* in Virgo

My Actor:
Trines his Mercury
Sextiles his Venus
Sextiles his Neptune
Conjuncts his Pluto
Conjuncts his Ceres
Sextiles his Pallas
Conjuncts his JUNO
Conjuncts his Vesta
Squares his Aphrodite
Sextiles his Adonis
Opposes his Amor

WEEEEWW.... No wonder i love him!

posted July 22, 2008 10:43 AM         

I do like those romantic comedies: I loved "Notting Hill" and I was neither a Julia Roberts nor a Hugh Grant-fan; I also loved "Love actually" and "two weeks notice" - I guess I might revise that "I do not like Hugh Grant" statement. lol

I absolutely loved "The Lakehouse" - oh I SOO loved it, I even bought the DVD of "Persuasion" and watched it, because it had been mentioned there. lol

I also loved "Dogma" - I would have loved it for Alan Rickman`s voice alone!. I love so many films.

But now and then, and relatively often, I need something d a r k e r. Vampires, my choice of darkness,v ery often.
I don`t like horror, but I love mystery, those passionate love stories, historical novels with a mysterious twist and a bittersweet passionate love story. *sighs* Oh yes.

I don`t know I said my taste is strange, and I guess I was right about that.

posted July 22, 2008 10:27 PM         

if i want to be moved - i'll listen to music or interact with people. if i want to be entertained - i'll observe people or watch a movie. i love movies - one of my things when i was a kid - i loved going to the movies - the whole experience - going there, buying the ticket, waiting impatiently to get into the theatre, buying popcorn and sitting there. just loved it. something magical about watching a movie on the big screen. i enjoy good acting - i appreciate it. but i'm more interested in how it was made. i have to watch a movie a number of times to actually get to see the movie because i spend the first viewing dissecting it - about the lines, yes, the quality of the acting, how the special effects may have been made, why did they shoot it from that angle, noticing the same location as from another movie. i'm interested in the mechanics. but mostly, i'm interested in the script. that's why i'm passionate about the way a line is delivered. if someone is given beautiful words i want to feel them when they're spoken by the character. i'm a words person. i love words. i can't act so i'm not really into that - i find a lot of acting over-acting.

i haven't seen anything about ralph fiennes yet that speaks to me that he's a great actor. sorry. i just haven't. there are a few that stand out for me in terms of passionate acting - and as much as i don't like his publicity train - tom cruise - like him or not - is a passionate actor. he puts his whole body into every line delivered. look at jerry maguire. look at matt damon in syriana when his voice cracks when the prince says to him "what are they thinking? tell me". i love that. the acting comes through the voice and it's tones. it's beautiful. in closer when clive owen shouts at julia roberts "not by me" - wowow! brilliant. it was like a lion roaring. just simple things like that get me. michael j fox is brilliant for using his hands. not a brilliant actor in terms of daniel day-lewis - but watch him and observe - NO-ONE has better use of their hands in their performances. watch troy and listen to the way sean bean delivers the line "hector is one man, look at what he did to us today". oh, my!

yes, i love passion too. it appears as though we perceive passion in different ways, also.

but i can find something illuminating in a whimsical rom-com. i love those. i'm greatly drawn to characters rather than actors. i love characters. in addicted to love - i love meg ryans character. i love christian bale's batman/bruce wayne. i love sam neill's merlin - the acting - his lines - brilliant. watch him as he says to uther "i'm a wizard, that's my job" - the grin, the way he raises his eyebrow. fan-tastic. and helena bonham carter in merlin also as she says "it's magic". brilliant.

when rafe says "i'm jealous of the rain" - wowow! what a line. but where's the desperation - his passion for her - when he says it?