posted August 19, 2008 09:30 AM         

i gave up coca-cola today.

........again.

posted August 19, 2008 09:31 AM         

this synastry with the new asteroids does nothing for me.

i don't like it. so i shall reject it. LOL. can i do that with the rest of my chart too. okay - i like that. i totally object to my saturn in taurus in the 2nd house. how's that? did i tell the universe, or what?

posted August 19, 2008 10:23 AM         

hope you are okay with the hazelnut and the loss of Coke.

Well, I was a bit sceptical towards these new asteroids, too.
But Eros is the one asteroid I wouldn`t dismiss (along with Psyche and probably Anteros and Amor).
I`m not completely sure about Ophelia and Anacreon.

On that site the author mentioned Sappho as a sign of one sided love, too, and I certainly don`t agree with that.

Medea, now that one creeps me out.

My Draco Medea is conjunct Patrick`s ASC, his Draco Meea is conjunct my SN and DSC.
Medea being a synonym for extreme love and love / hate-dynamics surely doesn`t look too comfortable.
Actually Medea loved Jason passionately, insanely; in fact she gave up everything for him (she was a witch and used to be a strong, independent woman before she met him). She was so desperately passionately in love with him, that she even killed for him! Only to be able to be together with him. She gave everything up for him and their love, followed him away from her homecountry into a completely new land.
and what happened?
After a certain time he dumped her! He deserted her and married another woman, a king`s daughter instead, so he would be able to stay in that country with his children (and Medea`s).

Now, Medea didn`t take the rejection all too well. As passionately as she had loved him before, she now sought revenge, having gone insane because of her rejected love and out of hate.
She pretended to be okay with his decision, but secretely weaved a poisoned cloth as a present for his new wife, who died a painful death having put it on.
But it was not enough to satisfy Medea`s thirst for revenge; to hurt Iason even deeper, she killed their own two children!

So, MEdea = passionate love that could become a frenzy and turn to furious hate, if ever rejected.

Whoa. That is a completely new dimension of Pluto / Scorpio / 8th house I guess.

And creepily, there are some too many Medea-aspects within that synastry like his MEdea exactly conjunct my dr Vertex, dr Eros and Dr DEstinn.
And his dr Medea conjunct my SN, DC, draconic Moon and antiscia conjunct my Vertex, Eros and Destinn.

Or my MEdea antiscia conjunct his Juno, dr Moon and dr IC, while my dr MEdea conjuncts his ASC and is antiscia conjunct his Destinn, Amor, Ceres, Mars, Jupiter and Eros.

No, no, no, I don`t want to know anything about that Medea.

Hmm, if there was anything to it, it would appear in passionate relationships, too, no?
the positive ones (after all they COULD have been happy, if the feelings had been mutual), but also the ones that end in fury and violence and revenge.

EDIT:
Actually the character of Medea really resembles the symbolism of Lilith. She was, too, a strong woman in posession of her feminity, but demanded to be treated as an equal.
Her fury was justified, because Iason really did her horribly wrong (Iason only used her to reach his own goals, maybe Iason would be the better symbol for deceiving or rejected love?), but the measures she took to have her revenge were so extreme, that, even though she was right to be angry, she slipped onto the "dark side" of her power.

posted August 19, 2008 11:23 AM         

quote:

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imagine if ralph fiennes came and read this.

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*spills cereal*

BAHH!!!!! Don't even think about that!!!

I think that if ralph fiennes read some of my posts, his pretty face would blush.

Yes Ralph, my darling, it's true. I want to save you, slave you, and shag you. Whoops! Did i just say that? Bad meta, bad, bad....

posted August 19, 2008 11:30 AM         

quote:

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i tend to clash with leos at times

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quote:

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Interestingly I don`t have much connection to LEos either, never had.

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You B1tches. That's it, it's on! Who wants to get stomped first?? C'mon, step up!

How dare you say that leos are full of themselves!!! I'm don't have ANY PRIDE! I'm offended! Sincerely. I can't believe you all would turn your backs on me after i took you in out of the good of my heart. I fed you, bathed you, gave you a forum over your heads! And this is the thanks i get?! Some friends you are.

.. Wh0res ...

posted August 19, 2008 11:56 AM         

Nah, you are the exception of course (Even though every leo thinks they are the exception, that full they are of themselves. ). Funny the fire triad is togethere here under that forum`s roof. And the fire triad has an Aqua-Moon. How interesting.

posted August 19, 2008 01:39 PM         

quote:

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I wouldn't date an actress. There's only room for one actor in my life and I'm it. Too difficult. On the one hand, they understand the job. But on the other hand, it's very competitive within the relationship. Two actors, say one becomes a mega-star and the other doesn't. Happens all the time. So one is getting so much attention, and the other person feels jealous.

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posted August 19, 2008 02:25 PM         

Oh I just realize that has been my 2222nd post and I posted it on 2:22.

PA, do such a lot 2`s mean something?

posted August 19, 2008 02:36 PM         

"222 - Our newly planted ideas are beginning to grow into reality. Keep watering and nurturing them, and soon they will push through the soil so you can see evidence of your manifestation. In other words, don’t quit five minutes before the miracle. Your manifestation is soon going to be evident to you, so keep up the good work! Keep holding positive thoughts, keep affirming, and continue visualizing."

SPEECHLESS (Doesn`t happen often, so better don`t used to it, but this.... Oh God, how much I want this. I wanted to write "want to believe in this", but somehow that other sentence came through. Something weird is happening to me in that place. Better leave for now and try to get a little bit more grounded again.)

http://www.mcuniverse.com/Double-Digit-Numbers.354.0.html

posted August 19, 2008 04:10 PM         

I`m sorry, I`m sure you`re pretty tired of hearing me babbling constantly about him. But I can`t promise you to stop.
*Sighs* I`m pretty sure I will not be able to stop, as a matter of fact.

posted August 20, 2008 01:11 AM         

Ethan Hawke.

I just watched Reality Bites for the 13th time, and i never get tired of watching it. Watching him in particularly. I am so startled by how magnetic he is. He's so complex. He's real and raw and rough. He's... emotional. I just can't get over how attracted i am to him. I can't believe i haven't mentioned it before! How could Ethan Hawke have slipped my mind.

posted August 20, 2008 03:14 AM         

quote:

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The Grand Cross pulls everyone in

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posted August 20, 2008 04:12 AM         

It makes sense, with a natal Grand Cross anyone who makes a strong connection with you is likely to make a synastry chart with G.C. (I'm thinking the Conjunctions and Squares that crop up between people with strong chemistry.)

It's only the same I've found with my T-Square. If anyone is going to react to my Venus, Mars, Mercury or Ascendant, they are going to hit it. Or Moon CNJ Pluto. Anyone get near that, it isn't going to be casual.

posted August 20, 2008 11:10 AM         

"The reverse; I'm curious to know what he's about. You've probably said before, but I didn't read it. So tell me again if you care to, I am now intrigued (being the odd woman out, not a fire sign but a nosey Gemini)."
Curious, witty Gemini`s are always welcome to this Sag-girl.

What he`s about? Hm, he`s a singer, of course, what else could he have been?

However, I first saw him 2 years ago on an open air concert. I had been going there for someone else And I was standing at the top of some stairs watching the show (I didn`T like to sit in a row, actually some friends of mine were there, too). And at some point of the show he started coming up the stairs, singing (it was "Feel" btw), and he was coming straight to me holding the microphone into my direction, which made me dodge his look very quickly, so he went to someone else. But that was the first eyecontact. lol

And no I didn`t fall head over heels for him. I felt for a moment very startled, but then agreed with my voice of reason that he was just being a musical actor, who undoubtedly was a good singer, and whom, undoubtedly I wouldn`t see again. And wouldn`t even really want to see again.

Well, on that open air concert my "journey" started, and I then revisited my old feelings for the two musical-singers I had a crush on for a long time, and I started really digesting all of it (one of these singers were on the concert, too, actually this one was the reason I went there in the first place).

Not long after that I came here onto LL btw, and there are dozens of posts about my "unhappy musical-crush" on those two gay men; something I just had to revisit and then leave behind for real.

And then in february this year, my other "musical-crush" was supposed to participate in a concert, and I wanted to go and see him, even if I was long over that crush, but he still was a good singer and I wanted to see him. Period.
But he had to cancel, as he fell sick on that date.
Coincidentally, Patrick was part of that concert (not open air this time), too.
I knew that before and actually thought it wouldn`t be so bad seeing him again, as I remembered that he was kinda good.
But of course I didn`t go there only to see him; he was just there.

And of course, when I arrived there realizing that the other guy had been sick, I was disappointed, but hey, such is life. But the other actors were great, including Patrick. He was actually a thousand times better than I remembered him. He came in and flooded the whole room with light! Unbelievable. His voice - flawless. The way he presented himself - adorable, charming, enthusiastic, vibrant.
And I remember that I thought to myself: "So, the evening is not a total waste. I`m really not into him, but he seems to be nice and good."

And at one point, after the break, I was sitting at the aisle again, I suddenly felt being looked at. And when I looked at the side, he had just come in (they walked a lot through the aisle onto stage) and was looking at me, just the moment I turned my head.
And it was just like whoa. Me thinking: Can I please get up and run away now? Because I fear if I stay until the end of this evening, it might be a little too late for my usual running away." lol

And in the second half he was singing some really great songs from "Mozart - the musical": "how to get rid of my shadow", "Knowing you is loving you", "Why can`t you love me as I am?" - real emotional songs. And he managed to electrify the whole room. I have never felt such strong vibrations, only created through voice and stage personality (and I have sensed some strong vibrations with others too). I actually, can`t tell you what was going on around me, while he was singing, because I just became oblivious to my whole surroundings (and I am usually always aware of my surroundings, even in cinema; there are only very rare films or scenes that managed to "suck me in").

And well, I went home telling myself that it was a good show, and that he was a great artist, and that he is still not my type. (I wonder why I needed to confirm that to myself all the time).

And then some weeks later, I suddenly felt the urge to see him again, and as I knew he would be playing Jesus in "Jesus Christ Superstar" I decided to go there and see him. Partly because I wanted to see the musical itself. Partly because I wanted to get these "foolish feelings" out of my system. I was thinking that i had been carried away by the intensity of the moment, and that, if I saw him again, it would be completely gone and therefore I could stop thinking about him. (I wasn`t really sure why I ordered tickets for two performances though. lol)

Well, I went there, but it didn`t go as I had hoped. Because from the first moment he came onto stage I was captivated. I slid again in that weird state of mind, like an intense trance (I can`t descripe it better), and it shocked me how strongly I reacted to him, not only on a "fan appreciates star for his talent"-level. I usally am not, mmh, "turned on" by actors, not in a physical way, because I just never lived very much in my body; it was something that was needed to contain my mind, not much more (yes, I know I have some issues in that regard).

posted August 20, 2008 11:22 AM         

Now i feel like an arse. Sorry.

Thank you for the compliment, though i wasn't fishing for one. Hope you didn't think i was!

posted August 20, 2008 11:23 AM         

However, after the musical ended, I was restless. I couldn`t go to the hotel. I just couldn`t. I wanted to see him (I had seen him 2 hours in a row, but I felt the compulsion to see him).
I then decided to go to the stage door (something which I have done only 3 times in all my life, because somehow I found it embarassing and I still found it embarassing). But I went there anyway, because I wanted to "end it then and there, that stupid illusion of an infatuation that was threatening to develop". I was very sure, that I only had been so drawn to him because of the acting-part. Because I am fascinated with actors, not with real persons.
The times I had met an actor before at the stage door, it helped me "to get back to the ground" again, as I felt that there was no real attraction involved. Taht was the reason I went there. REally. I wanted him to be a complete arrogant stupid ******* .

So I went there, and was asking me all the time what I was doing there, and I was actually wanting to walk away again and forget this stupid stupid thing, when he came out. Especially since there were some really nice looking 20`years old girls there, which were waiting for him, all giggly as you are if you are meeting your star. *sighs* However, before I could change my mind and turn round and walk away, he came out and he looked at me. Again. And again I felt like hypnotized. I mean, I went there to convince myself that I was only attraction to his stage personality, but seeing him in person was like a shock, the sudden attraction I felt was much more intense than when he was on stage. And well he came down the stairs and we talked. I actually asked him if I could do his horoscope.
WEll there were a lot of people there this evening, chatting away, but suddenly it had turned extremely silent. lol
HOwever, he was interested in his horoscope, but didn`t know his exact birthtime. But he actually called his mum and asked her. I was really surprised by this. And he basically was just being absolutely nice, enthusiastic, open, and well, when I remembered my manners (actually it had been work for him, and he deserved his freetime) and said goodbye and went to my hotel, we had been chatting for about 20 minutes. lol
20 minutes may not be much, but for meeting some actor it is.

And well I guess from that moment on I really was infatuated. Hmm, I saw him last month in another musical (open air again), but didn`t have the opportunity to give him his horoscope. Actually I bumped into him on a parking lot, but was too surprised, startled and whatever to even say Hello. Besides he looked really upset and I didn`t want him to snap at me for just saying Hello.

Well, yeah, and that`s it about Patrick. An extremely onesided infatuation again. But at least I have spoken to him.

posted August 20, 2008 11:41 AM         

I can understand that Patrick doesn`t do anything for you - for several reasons.

One reason being that he has got almost no water in his chart except for the ASC in Pisces that is. And you would need water, wouldn`t you?

Another reason is that I could actually agree to you. As I mentioned, he`s not even my type. I`m not into him. And yet, if I see him, meet him, being in physical proximity to him, something inside of me reacts to him, that doesn`t care for what I THINK he is or is not.
There`s a great sense of familiarity. Actually when I spoke to him at the stage door, really meeting him for the first time in this life, I felt like it was a reunion. lol

On the other hand there`s a magnetism, that is hard to explain. I can`t even explain it myself. It´s different than anything I`ve ever known. And pretty intoxicating. lol

posted August 20, 2008 01:52 PM         

You're right- no water, no chance! I need an emotional man, and i still stick to what i said, he reminds me of a Leo. I don't know why. I can't explain it. But yes, he does. Very much so.

I think it's funny how you're not even into him but he has you in some way. How romantic! Poor DD, she wants her singer without logical explanation... aww...