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Author
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Topic: Dirty Jokes.....Post yours
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anonymidarkness
Knowflake Posts: 7952
From:
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted October 21, 2017 08:22 PM
  
A fat guy walking down
the street saw a sign: "Amazing Slimming
Treatment!
Twenty-four-hour cure - one thousand
dollars; Six-hour cure - five thousand
dollars."
Curious, he went inside and asked the
receptionist about the twenty-four-hour
cure. He was shown inside a large room,
and there stood a beautiful naked girl with a
sign around her neck, "You catch me, you
make love to me; but first you have to catch
me."
That was the process of slimming! He was
very impressed, and thought," If this is the
one-thousand- dollar cure, the five-
thousand-dollar one must be five times as
good." So he immediately signed up for the
five-thousand-dollar, six-hour cure.
He was undressed and taken into another
large room, and the door was locked behind
him. Alone in the room with him was an
enormous gorilla, with a sign around his
neck saying, "I catch you, I make love to
you."IP: Logged |
anonymidarkness
Knowflake Posts: 7952
From:
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted November 19, 2017 09:08 PM
John and Mary began making love in a
railway cutting. As their lovemaking
progressed, they rolled down onto the
railway tracks in the path of the oncoming
express.
The driver, seeing the two bodies ahead on
the line, halted the train just in time. Now,
delaying the train is a serious offense, and
at the trial the judge demanded an
explanation.
"Now look, John," he said, "I am a man of
the world and I can understand you and
your girlfriend having a little fun. But why
didn't you get out of the way of the train?"
"Well, it's like this, Your Honor," said John.
"I was coming, the train was coming and
Mary was coming, and I thought that
whoever could stop would stop!"IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 128025
From: From a galaxy, far, far away...
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 20, 2017 11:58 AM
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anonymidarkness
Knowflake Posts: 7952
From:
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted February 01, 2018 04:06 AM
A woman buys a parrot at an auction of the
furnishings of a fancy whorehouse, and
keeps the parrot's cage covered for two
weeks to make it forget its profane
vocabulary.
When the cage is finally uncovered, the
parrot looks around and remarks, "Awrrk!
New house. New madam." When the
woman's daughters come in, he adds,
"Awrrk! New girls."
When her husband comes home that night,
the parrot says, "Awrrk! Awrrk! Same old
customers. Hello, Joe!"IP: Logged |
anonymidarkness
Knowflake Posts: 7952
From:
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted February 01, 2018 04:08 AM
A young man with a fine voice is asked to
take part in a pageant play, though he tries
to beg off, saying he always gets
embarrassed under such circumstances. He
is assured it will be very simple, and he will
have only one line to say: "I come to snatch
a kiss, and dart into the fray. Hark! I hear a
pistol shot..." and then stride offstage.
At the performance he comes onstage, very
embarrassed already by the tight-fitting
colonial knee-breeches he has been made to
put on at the last moment, and becomes
completely unstrung at the sight of the
beautiful heroine lying back on a garden
seat, awaiting him, in a white gown. He
clears his throat and announces: "I come to
kiss your snatch - no! - snatch a kiss, and
fart into the dray - I mean, dart into the
fray! Hark! - I hear a shistol pot - no! - a
shostil pit, a pistil sh!!t . Oh, bat sh!!t, rat sh!!t ,sh!!t on you all! I never wanted to be in this
damned play anyhow!"IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 128025
From: From a galaxy, far, far away...
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 01, 2018 04:21 PM
 IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 128025
From: From a galaxy, far, far away...
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 02, 2018 07:30 PM
"Hello, Joe!"  IP: Logged |
anonymidarkness
Knowflake Posts: 7952
From:
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted March 07, 2018 02:57 AM
General Jackass, now retired, is walking down the street one day when he sees Donald Dixteen. Donald used to serve as the general's valet during the last war.General Jackass is very happy to see Donald, and shaking hands, tells Donald that he is looking for someone to take the job as his personal butler. "You'll have exactly the same duties you had with me in the army," smiles the general. "You can begin by waking me up tomorrow morning at eight o'clock." Donald takes the job, and the following morning, he rushes into the general's bedroom and shakes him until he wakes up. Then he slaps the general's wife on the ass, and shouts, "Okay, baby! Here's your twenty dollars, it's time to go home!" IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 128025
From: From a galaxy, far, far away...
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 18, 2018 08:02 PM
IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 128025
From: From a galaxy, far, far away...
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 07, 2019 02:58 PM
Bump!IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 128025
From: From a galaxy, far, far away...
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 18, 2019 11:43 AM
Bump!IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 128025
From: From a galaxy, far, far away...
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 14, 2019 04:07 PM
Bump!IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 128025
From: From a galaxy, far, far away...
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 05, 2019 09:58 AM
Bump!IP: Logged |
mirage29
Knowflake Posts: 13219
From: us
Registered: May 2012
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posted June 05, 2019 10:21 PM
^ Anony!! (sheesh LOL)
   Keepin' it clean!!
(music) You Got Me Spinning Right Round Baby   (Sandy S Zoo Studios) [4:47] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yliGLvrQpvA
IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 128025
From: From a galaxy, far, far away...
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 23, 2019 09:02 AM
Bump!IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 128025
From: From a galaxy, far, far away...
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 23, 2019 04:41 PM
Bump!IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 128025
From: From a galaxy, far, far away...
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted September 05, 2019 12:49 PM
Bump!IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 128025
From: From a galaxy, far, far away...
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 21, 2019 12:31 PM
Bump!IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 128025
From: From a galaxy, far, far away...
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 09, 2020 02:29 PM
Bump!IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 128025
From: From a galaxy, far, far away...
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 11, 2020 06:14 PM
Bump!IP: Logged |
anonymidarkness
Knowflake Posts: 7952
From:
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted March 12, 2020 09:17 PM
Its for times like these that God invented doggy-styleIP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 128025
From: From a galaxy, far, far away...
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 28, 2020 04:55 PM
Bump!IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 128025
From: From a galaxy, far, far away...
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 22, 2020 02:43 PM
Bump!IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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