Posts: 2311
From: Outside, to watch the nightfall in the rain
Registered: Aug 2006

posted September 02, 2008 12:59 AM         

---

I'm kinda over rude strangers and I just felt I had to rant to someone about this.

It's happened twice over the last few days where I have been walking along and have been cut off twice by girls.

The first time was when I was in a shopping centre and we were approaching each other at right angles. She deliberately sped up and cut me off knowing full well that she did.

The second time was when I was crossing the intersection at some light in the CBD and there were these two girls crossing with me. They then deliberately sped up and cut me off (and glaring at me while doing this) and thus prevented me from getting off an intersection and onto the footpath.

Am I wrong to feel really annoyed by this? I found this on both occasions incredibly rude and disrespectful. Or am I too petty and self-important?

Opinions please.

IP: Logged

Posts: 2737
From: U.K
Registered: Dec 2007

posted September 02, 2008 03:16 AM         

---

Trivial incidents where people show lack of consideration and manners can be annoying, and sometimes they carry the potential to be dangerous as well.

It happens a lot when I am trying to get in and out of my house, onto a narrow street. People with large cars, unsuited to the road, insist on barging past, not wanting to wait. The Council bears some responsibility for building large expensive houses on an estate without sufficient infrastructure in place. Everyone's life becomes less pleasant, and the potential for accidents increases.

The one that really irritates me is the school run. Walking into the gates, there is always someone who mounts the curb and opens their car door so their kids can jump out, ignoring the prams and buggies walking past on the pavement. It's not only inconsiderate it is dangerous.

Our local postmaster has noticed an increase in bad manners in the last six months. The one bad-mannered person I run into once a week on the other side of the counter, and manage to forget about after a couple of minutes, are starting to escalate into an unpleasant day earning a living. they must see several of them in a day and they don't deserve it. And once again, it makes life less pleasant for everyone in the environment.

IP: Logged

Posts: 2311
From: Outside, to watch the nightfall in the rain
Registered: Aug 2006

posted September 02, 2008 05:34 AM         

---

I'm sorry to hear about your things BM. The car thing is particularly bad. I used to live near a school once and had a similar problem where all rich mums used show up with their 4WD trucks to pick up their kids and in the meantime take up a lot of space in narrow streets. It's bad stuff. And posties must have a hell of a life too, esp if there is a loose dog around!

IP: Logged

Posts: 2737
From: U.K
Registered: Dec 2007

posted September 02, 2008 05:40 AM         

---

Dog turds left where everyone can tread in it. That is another one that annoys me.

Once, when my kids were really little and crawling about on the grass, I found some dog turd in the corner of the lawn, behind the tree facing the street. Some dirty stranger must have put it there or let their dogs do their business there. Let it sh!t on your own lawn!

There was a whole load left outside the school gates a while back. It had been squished by various shoes. Ready to traipse into school onto the carpets. Lovely. Someone on minimum wage gets to scrub that up because an inconsiderate stranger couldn't be arsed to carry a plastic bag, or kick their dog's turd into the drain. That's right, mate, don't get your own shoes dirty, you might have to step over to a bit of grass to wipe it off.

The human version isn't that pleasant either. No-one has sh@t on my doorstep yet, but my neighbour came home to find someone peeing on the flowers on the driveway. There was a drain a couple of footsteps away. Though the fella was pie-eyed, so probably wasn't really up to rational thought.

Plenty of this kind of caper as I live on the town route between late-night pub and home. I can live with the odd beer bottle left lying around, I don't mind picking it up and putting it in the recycle. Smashing things and nicking stuff isn't on though.

Some stranger nicked my bike last week. Now that was rude.

I don't like people nicking my stuff. If I want to give it away, I will do. Maybe take it to the charity shop. The local toe-rag doesn't have the right to take it. Bring back transportation for petty theft, that's what I say.

IP: Logged

Posts: 2311
From: Outside, to watch the nightfall in the rain
Registered: Aug 2006

posted September 02, 2008 06:32 AM         

---

, I'm sorry for laughing at your post. Its not funny but it comes across as amusing here.

Oh what about twits that break your mail box? They either twist the metal neck or smash it? Or people who steal plants in the front yard? My parents used to get that all the time. Or my personal favourite, someone smashing the window of your car.

Oh the pub! What a pain, I live next to two and you can hear people or used to when they were singing blotto at 3am. I used to have to go to bed with earplugs in Thur-Sat nights. That was until one closed down for renovations and one burnt down about a month ago which I am very, very happy about

IP: Logged

Posts: 2737
From: U.K
Registered: Dec 2007

posted September 02, 2008 06:57 AM         

---

Snap. Two pubs opposite my house. It doesn't bother me that much, it is the kids traipsing past from the rough bar down town that cause the most noise.

The drunken arguments fascinate me:

Eff you! You effin eff, eff off!

And that is a quote. What was it all about? The other night I was woken up to the strains of:

B!tch! sluut! Wh@re! What do you want from me?

But when my half-awakened mind realised it was outside and not anyone shouting at me directly, I soon nodded off. No clue what she was after.

Confused men often seem to follow shouting after irate girlfriends who stomp off. Women shouting eff you, you effin....

You get the picture.

A thousand years ago it would have been sweating Saxon peasants, beligerent after an evening session knocking back home-brewed mead. The street scenery has changed, but not much else.

IP: Logged

Posts: 2311
From: Outside, to watch the nightfall in the rain
Registered: Aug 2006

posted September 02, 2008 07:28 AM         

---

Luckily I live high off the ground to hear particular conversations from this pub. The only clear noise I hear apart from group singing was this particular girl who used to attend the pub every weekend and her laugh was so high pitched that you could always hear her laugh FORTY THREE floors up where I am. However, my parents' area always used to attract drunkards and yeah, it hear exactly what you said, word for word!

IP: Logged

Posts: 435
From: California
Registered: Nov 2006

posted September 03, 2008 12:10 AM         

---

I understand being annoyed, because it's saying you don't matter at all. Plus, it's rude.

I spent 6 months in San Francisco and I still have an aversion to that city because of all the rudeness I was exposed to. While not the most violent city I've ever been in, it was the most rudely selfish & egotistical one. While others tell me that their experience wasn't so bad, I felt so burned by it that I still have no plans of even passing through it. In my experience, even Oakland was more civil (though the crime was worse). The absolute worse that I recall (though plenty of contenders here) was when an old lady tried crossing the street to Golden Gate Park, but the light changed too fast (I recall feeling pressured to jog across myself when I got a light) and despite pedestrians having right of way, not a single car would stop so she could go, while the car that she was in front of was constantly blowing his horn at her. Way to treat someone in their last years of life, jerk. (I hit the button for her so the light would change again.) When I heard that a vote made guns illegal in Frisco years later, the first thing I thought was, "If I was like the jerks I met, I wouldn't want people to have guns either--not because guns are bad, but because I'm a bad person."

Having left that area, I was once at a library computer (before I finally got my own) when a total jerk demanded it. Which was fine, but he wanted me off that instant and did everything but bodily throw me off (and I mean INSTANT, not even giving me a few seconds to finish). I wish now I'd asked him if he was from Frisco, because he looked and acted just like those jerks that made me swear to never enter that city again.

A couple of funny stories, IMO, from Frisco is that a satanist said she was leaving Frisco because "it's too uncivilized here." Well it made ME laugh that a satanist would say that. The other was one of the friends I made there decided that since she didn't have a car and I did, that I should drive her anywhere she wanted to go (nor did she ever offer to pay gas money). She was fun enough and showed me some fun places to go that I accepted this, but she'd play this same song over and over again and while I liked the song, it drove me crazy, and she didn't care. I finally took the tape out of my player and threw it under my seat. The next time she did it again, and when she had it play a 3rd time, I took it out again and she reached into her purse and pulled out ANOTHER tape. I asked, "How many copies do you have?" She simply said "a lot" and put it in with the same song. I laugh about it now, but I think the only reason I could stand her acting that way is because most people there seemed far, far worse. I wouldn't put up with it today anyway.

IP: Logged

Posts: 2311
From: Outside, to watch the nightfall in the rain
Registered: Aug 2006

posted September 03, 2008 04:52 AM         

---

The old lady story is very sad, total disrespect for a human being, let alone an elder It gets repeated a lot on public transport too where older people just don't get seats from younger people sitting down. I have seen this happen all of the world.

IP: Logged

Posts: 2737
From: U.K
Registered: Dec 2007

posted September 03, 2008 06:24 AM         

---

On U.K Reality T.V a contestant (Bez, Happy Mondays) won partly because of public reaction to him criticising another person on the show for being disrespectful to an old lady (Sylvester Stallone's mother).

Old people can be some of the rudest people about, they think they have paid their dues and have the right to push people out of the way and get what they want first. And anyone under 20 deserves continual criticism for being a social nuisance just by existing. Our local paper is full of this kind of tripe. But it is, of course, that minority always standing out like an ugly thumb.

Beeping an old person to hurry up and cross the road is lacking all sense of consideration, perspective and basic decency. Is another minute going to make major difference to their car journey?

Oh, back to the local paper, here is one I find hard to get: there have been in the past year at least 3 hearbroken letters from parents whose children's graves have been robbed (statues taken, etc). Now that is just despicable. Whatever drove that, drink, drugs, I find hard to excuse in any way.

IP: Logged

Posts: 939
From: My own private world
Registered: Jan 2008

posted September 03, 2008 06:36 AM         

---

LOL @ BM about the pub hehe.
Effin funny

IP: Logged

Posts: 435
From: California
Registered: Nov 2006

posted September 03, 2008 08:16 PM         

---

I have a strong belief in showing respect for the elderly, at least until they prove by their own repeated actions that it's lost on them (or worse, they take advantage of it in dishonorable ways).

That said, I certainly realize that wisdom does not always come with age, and some people can live to be a 100 and never really show maturity (ie, engaging in petty rumor mongering, making superficial judgments on others based on things like appearance or choice of music, prone to pouting & tantrums, shunning those different, etc). But I do try to keep in mind that our culture is job and money oriented, and as a result, the elderly are often not taken seriously (most don't work, and many have financial difficulties, especially with medical expenses), which would be likely to put anyone at any age in a bad mood and feel a need to be more crotchety in order to be taken seriously, or at least not ignored (and their health problems and expenses don't help, and medications might also mess up their temperament), so I do cut them some slack for bad behavior (and I'm really impressed with those who have the grace to remain good people despite these hardships, especially if wisdom DID come with their twilight years).

One of my plans that I'm working toward now is to get some land in Washington where I can build cob homes and create a retirement community for the elderly to spend in natural beauty and, hopefully, contemplation or just enjoyment. I like the idea of having empty space for people that come to be able to build their own cob (with help of others) as it's pretty easy to do (some considerations require more, but people can design their space in many ways). Solar & wind power, hopefully with enough surplus to sell back to energy companies, is also an idea of mine.

My main goal is to get Granny to move there, and I was thinking of having her run it, and we could be like business partners (and as she's lived most of her life on a farm of some kind, she can help me set up the farm I want to run). She ran away with beatniks as a teen and spent time on a hippie commune and is still hippieish, so I'm sure she'd like that (and we've talked about it and she likes the idea). And I can't stand the idea of her, not having much money, being put into one of those nasty old folks home, like the one where residents died from fire ant bites while nurses and such ignored them. My place would offer a cheap alternative to those abusive places and allow for one's last years to be dignified and with self-autonomy that are often denied in many of the cheaper retirement homes.

IP: Logged

Posts: 435
From: California
Registered: Nov 2006

posted September 03, 2008 08:40 PM         

---

Going back to rude behavior, a major pet peeve of mine are guys that I don't know that want my number and then get upset when I don't give it.

It's nothing personal, it's that I've been stalked before, and not only is giving a number to a potential stalker bad enough, but there are ways to find out where someone lives (even google maps sometimes work for this) if they have it. It's an ounce of prevention on my part. Email is fine, and I sometimes offer it instead of my number.

But I've had guys I never met who wanted my number within the first few minutes of talking to me, and then get extremely upset, even threatening, when I wouldn't give it (and I can be really nice about it, IMO, even explaining I've had stalkers, and it doesn't always help). Natch, this invariably makes me think I did the right thing in NOT giving it...but it can be uncomfortable for me to downright scary. Take the email, please, and try to understand that the world is much more likely to see a woman as prey than a man, and that's a reality I simply have to live with and one most men don't seem able to understand because they don't experience it, and often it doesn't even occur to them that the world is more dangerous for some people than themselves.

What's worse is that I tried to cut down on the number of times that happened by getting a ring to look as if I'm married, say I AM married, and it hasn't stopped this kind of harassment. I avoid going out on Friday and Saturday afternoon/nights because it gets worse on these days.

IP: Logged

Posts: 2311
From: Outside, to watch the nightfall in the rain
Registered: Aug 2006

posted September 04, 2008 03:42 AM         

---

Yeah its darn creepy (and sleazy) when numbers are demanded or when personal information is sought and collected just after meeting. BM and I were talking about that on another thread.

In my younger days when I belonged to a chat group, I had my photo up with the other members of the group and unfortunately my email as well. Boy, did I get some wierd emails from strangers, one strange man (who appeared about 35 and was from Italy) in particular sent me a picture with his hand cocked against his temple like a gun. What possessed him to send this to me, I don't know. It seems even creepier now to me as an adult. Still, I guess its not rude so maybe we should get back on to the topic.

IP: Logged

Posts: 195
From: Washington state
Registered: Feb 2006

posted September 06, 2008 03:44 PM         

---

Yeah, I learned about the number-giving the hard way too.Here goes a long story about the worst case so far. This young guy who worked in construction with my dad and had apparently become pals with him, and he called to my house to ask for him, but then ended up asking for my number saying that we should be friends. i had never talked to him and I only ever saw him once. He was a really lonely guy because he had no family around the area, so I figured sure why not talk to him?He only wants to be friends...
BAD idea. The guy started calling my phone everyday, and when I didn't answer he would get mad. One day he apparently invited himself to a family party of some sort,(once I heard that he was going I avoided the party) and he asked my dad if he could spend the night at our house. My dad, being oblivious to this guy's intentions said sure. That night, I could hear someone walking past my door like five times (good thing I had a lock), and in the morning he stepped into the yard to call me,(so my mom wouldn't hear) and angrily asked why he hadn't seen me. I told him that it was because I didn't want to. I had barricaded myself in my room for hours upon hours by now, and he was still trying. He was trying to convince my mom that sure she could go off to church, he didn't mind staying in the house alone etc... (I am so glad she didn't go) Anyway he finally left, but then the real torment began

Even though the only actual conversation I had had with this guy had been the one about my dad not being home and then giving him my phone number, he started calling and leaving creepy messages about how I had broken his heart and he couldn't move his arms and legs because of it. He would sometimes leave songs playing in the background. One day I decided it was time to stick up for myself and flat-out tell this guy to eff off, so I finally answered one of his calls. He started yelling at me, which made me really angry because he did it like he thought he KNEW me or something, when all he'd ever seen was a glimpse of me and my pictures hanging up in the living room. When I said I didn't want a boyfriend and that he had apparently misinterpreted my acceptance of his "friendship", he starts yelling about "WHY don't you want a boyfriend? are you a Jehova's witness? etc.." and he kept trying to pressure me
Finally I had to tell my mom, who told my dad, which kind of hurt because I hate it when my dad is disappointed in people . It breaks my heart just as it does his because he is such a trusting person. If anyone asks him something in good will, he always complies.
When he next called our house phone because I would'nt answer my cell phone, my dad answered. (WHo knows what sort of family outing he planned to invite himself on next.) My dad put him in his place (my dad is a very intimidating guy when he raises his voice)and he didn't call for months. Then, one day at work I listen to my phone messages, and there is a new one from him(he had long before started to call from blocked numbers), playing some cheesy spanish love-song and saying nothing but whispers. It was creepy as heck, and since my mom and I worked at the same place I showed it to her. She laughed and thought it was silly,and told me that there was nothing to worry about, that my fears about him trying to break into our house or to do something to me were not going to happen... but that didn't help me at all. It ISN'T funny AT ALL to be stalked, in any way. It is a horrible, horrible feeling. I finally changed my phone, and I have moved from my parents' house, but I worry about them. Not too long ago, someone threw a malatov-bomb at their house, and we don't know who did it...
This was not the only time my friendliness got me into stalker-trouble...and I am slowly learning to stick up for myself in these situations...but it leaves me wondering, why oh why must people be sooooo rude sometimes???

IP: Logged

Posts: 2311
From: Outside, to watch the nightfall in the rain
Registered: Aug 2006

posted September 06, 2008 05:21 PM         

---

W.I.E.R.D. - I think you have to be careful around everyone, not only strangers but strangers more so because they have no emotional connection to you and would feel no grief doing something bad. Utter nutter. Have you got an interventio/restraining order in place or something? If you suspect that he is still stalking you, you should seek some legal advice.

IP: Logged

Posts: 435
From: California
Registered: Nov 2006

posted September 06, 2008 08:25 PM         

---

I agree with 23, get a restraining order. However, some places won't grant them for anything less than an attempted murder, so you might be SOL. Another problem is many places won't enforce them, so it's just a worthless piece of paper that means nothing (but is still worth something in court in case you have to defend yourself from him in the future).

In case it gets worse:
http://www.aware.org/

This is not him being silly, it's him being obsessed and mentally ill. He's not at all rational, and about all he does is obsess over you & get angry.

Though as for why...I know a guy who was a borderline stalker, though I luckily only know him over the internet, and he was trying to get my advice on how to woo some "old flame" of his (that had never wanted anything to do with him). As nicely as I could, I told him that what he wanted to send was creepy and that he was stalking her and I'd seek a restraining order if anyone sent me anything like that. He was shocked and responded with something like, "I thought she'd think it was cute & be flattered that I cared so much."

IP: Logged

Posts: 1475
From: Portland, OR
Registered: Jan 2004

posted September 06, 2008 11:19 PM         

---

People in general are more rude. In emails, some people don't care what they say (or think to reread before hitting send) since once you say it, it's out there.

Or people with opinions that you don't necessarily care to hear.

Or stupid comments.

This very topic has crossed my mind the past week or so.

IP: Logged

Posts: 2311
From: Outside, to watch the nightfall in the rain
Registered: Aug 2006

posted September 07, 2008 07:21 PM         

---

quote:

---

Or people with opinions that you don't necessarily care to hear.

Or stupid comments.

This very topic has crossed my mind the past week or so.

---

Probably me and the SATC rant!

Something really annoyed me happened last night that could have been potentially dangerous. I live in a high rise apartment and some jerk from across the city decided to start flashing a green laser beam around! They then aimed it directly into my apartment and I happened to look into the beam. It went on for a minute or so and got so bad I had to draw the curtains. Luckily I'm not blind. That really annoyed the hell out of me. There has been a trend in recent years to shine laser beams into the cockpit of planes at airports thereby distracting pilots. How irresponsible!!

IP: Logged

Posts: 435
From: California
Registered: Nov 2006

posted September 07, 2008 10:38 PM         

---

I see nothing wrong with people sharing their contrary opinions, unless it's done with the sole purpose to cause drama & disruption (ie, trolling or baiting).

But given the approaching elections (which you may be thinking of here), what I call "kool aid drinking" is going to reach epic proportions, and otherwise rational people are going to be going off the deep end. Even supposedly objective journalists & talking heads are becoming victims of this. These people can annoy others enough to put them in a bad mood, too. After the elections it will die down, and those temporarily insane should be normal again by February. In the meantime, it can be hard to avoid (especially if you don't belong to a specific camp that you can surround & insulate yourself in, or have a hideout of some kind & don't use the internet). Back just before the 2004 election, I even got death threats before it was over and I was freaked about the hysteria people were falling into, but it eventually went away and I realized "this is what having a presidential election is like." Vandalism was bad back in 2004. Interesting enough, BOTH Republican AND Democrat offices near me got paintballed the same night, which probably meant that someone was sick of the madness by both sides, whereas most seemed to be one side against everyone else. Simple rude behavior (as opposed to criminal behavior of vandalism & terrorist threats) is mild in comparison, though common...but also temporary.

IP: Logged

Posts: 1475
From: Portland, OR
Registered: Jan 2004

posted September 08, 2008 12:11 AM         

---

Oh no 23...nothing you have written here (or on LL) I would classify as rude or anything close.

I'm just relating to what everyone so far has written in this thread, and some things I experience at work and in my personal life. I really wish people would censor themselves before exposing us to what's rolling around in their brain.

IP: Logged

Posts: 435
From: California
Registered: Nov 2006

posted September 08, 2008 12:40 AM         

---

Oh, yes, those, too! I usually don't have too much of a problem in real life (but some notable incidents), though a guy I sell stuff to recently said some negative things about Asian Americans. I'm ok with "politically incorrect" stuff as long as it's reasonable, but his was just a broad smear. I guess he doesn't know that I have close friends of Chinese, Japanese, and (somewhat) Korean descent (and we like eating together at a Thai house, which I consider a bit ironic, but he probably doesn't see a difference). I felt kinda insulted that he thought I'd be sympathetic to his view. Maybe he thinks because I have a Texan accent that I'm racist. Or maybe since I need him to buy my stuff, that he could get away talking like that (which, unfortunately, he's right, I'm not going to go hungry just to set him straight on that).

That reminds me of a worse incident. I tried a new Mexican fast food place and hated it. Normally I take scraps home for later, but the food was bad enough that I decided not to do that. But there are enough panhandlers and homeless that will take food left unattended that I left it on the outside table for them. Before I'd even left a guy took my plate and threw it away. I explained that I'd left it for the homeless and he basically said he threw it away for the same reason (oddly, he said it in a way to suggest illegal aliens would get it, though if he's that concerned about that, I'm not sure why he was eating there in the first place since it was so cheap and the hired help seemed unable to understand even basic English). I told him he could've at least took it for pets (assuming he had any) and left. Who knows, maybe he thinks I'm rude, since technically I left the plate, I no longer made a claim to it...

On the internet, I looked up info on Bridge to Terabithia a few days ago as I was wondering if I wanted to see it again or not. It was so powerful that I kept thinking of it, but the ending is such a punch in the gut that I wasn't sure if I did (to me life is painful enough without seeking movies to inflict more of it). At some point I found a link and followed it to someone making many sexual statements about the girl actor (AnnaSophia who plays Leslie) and posting some pics that I'm not sure if they were real or photoshopped, but it depressed me that someone would even think to pay attention to certain things (trust me, you don't want details) while watching it. I hope he just photoshopped it and simply posted it to upset people like me (similar to people who expose themselves to upset people), but there were people in support of it and adding their own inappropriate comments. That depressed me and I saw no reason for it to even exist, let alone why someone else had to post links to it so others can find it (apparently others agreed as the link was deleted when I looked later).

Btw, I did end up seeing BtT later (Friday). I meant to look to see if the pix posted has been real or photoshopped but was so into the story again that I totally forgot to (not that it's important to me, I just hope it was photoshopped rather than someone actually spent that much time looking for the pix posted). I cried toward the end again, but it's well worth it. I'm including it among my favorite movies now & hope to get my own copy of it in the near future.

IP: Logged

Posts: 2311
From: Outside, to watch the nightfall in the rain
Registered: Aug 2006

posted September 13, 2008 04:44 AM         

---

Some 60 year old jerk kicked a pigeon in front of me in town yesterday. That was mean and nasty I thought. Just because it is inconvenient for us humans, it still has every right to be here like us humans and to live and survive.

IP: Logged