Posts: 2415
From: Outside, to watch the nightfall in the rain
Registered: Aug 2006

posted September 13, 2008 03:21 AM         

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I didn't know where to put this but today I was in changeroom of a department store and next to me based on voices was a mother and her daughter (maybe about 4-5 years old?) trying on clothes obviously. She was getting annoyed at her daughter for not getting clothes on and when her daughter finally put on her skirt, her mum said to her, "nah, that makes you look fat, take it off'.

I mean, WTF? Do you think that's responsible to say that to a girl of that age? I almost had a heart attack in the changeroom! How irresponsible!

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From: My own private world
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posted September 13, 2008 03:25 AM         

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That is downright irresponsible
Do you know how old the mother would be?

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From:
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posted September 13, 2008 04:04 AM         

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That's awful.

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From: Outside, to watch the nightfall in the rain
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posted September 13, 2008 04:40 AM         

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Fireyscales - of average again I guess, 30s or so. I didnt see them but heard the entire conversation because they were very noisy (no criticism of that) and she had a mature voice.

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From: Mumbai, Maharashtra, India
Registered: Apr 2008

posted September 13, 2008 11:19 AM         

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i think the mother is just conscious about her daughter's looks. what's so irresponsible of her?

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posted September 13, 2008 01:39 PM         

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23-was just wondering what the mom's age was. If she was in her early-mid twenties, I could see why she would say that to her child but not if she is in her thirties.

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From: Calm Blue Ocean, Calm Blue Ocean
Registered: Jun 2003

posted September 13, 2008 02:30 PM         

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If the daughter is fat it's most likely the mother's fault anyway....my guess is the mother was fat

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From: Outside, to watch the nightfall in the rain
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posted September 13, 2008 04:32 PM         

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AceNeerav - what annoys me is that there are terrible body images that people have out there. We have on one end of the spectrum obesity, on the other hand anorexia and Hollywood. I just don't think it was a very appropriate thing to say to a child. Say it enough times, it gets internalised by the child. She could've said, "it doesn't suit you".

BR - well I can't really speculate myself, I never saw them. But you may be on a point where the mum might be projecting something that is internal in her on her daughter and passing on that behaviour.

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From: Outside, to watch the nightfall in the rain
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posted September 15, 2008 04:48 AM         

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http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,24349158-36398,00.html

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From: tx, usa
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posted September 15, 2008 12:14 PM         

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Oh, that just makes me so angry.
Whether or not the child was overweight is beyond the fact. A child that age is learning habits she will keep with her the rest of her life.
At her age, a child needs their confidence built. She should be told they're beautiful. NOT that they are fat. Things like that dont just roll of kids backs like some people may asume.
Im disgusted with that woman.
There are many less hurtful ways to say a skirt dosnt look good. What a flippant way of doing it.

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From: ann arbor mi
Registered: Apr 2008

posted September 15, 2008 12:39 PM         

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mean mamma! Chubby kids are way cute anyway. mean mamma!

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From: England
Registered: Dec 2004

posted September 16, 2008 04:49 PM         

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What?!
That's so unbelievable!

23, I'm not doubting your credibility, but I have to ask if there's any possibility the girl could have been older?! Some people have very young voices... at least I sure hope so.
To be honest a child that age won't take it in that much, but it's worrying cos it indicates the mother will carry it on into pre-teens years where it'll be fatal.

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From: Outside, to watch the nightfall in the rain
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posted September 16, 2008 10:01 PM         

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No, it was definitely definitely a young child. It was a toddler's voice without a doubt. Anyway, in the country I live in, there would be some sort of regulation for children of a certain age that can go into a changeroom with mum. It's for example seven and under for a male child to attend a female toilet with mum. I'd say something like that would be applicable here but it makes it hard because it was a girl.

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From: Outside, to watch the nightfall in the rain
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posted September 16, 2008 10:11 PM         

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The child's articulation wasn't highly developed. The way she reacted to her mother by her voice indicated a low level of maturity. I can only assume that the child was of average intelligence and did not have any form intellectual disability.

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From: U.K
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posted September 17, 2008 09:09 AM         

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To be honest a child that age won't take it in that much

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The more she hears that kind of comment, the more chance she will take it in and get a complex connected to it.

I bet if we did a survey, most people on LL could think of one negative thing that got instilled into them by their parent(s) and that gave them a confidence problem that took years to resolve. And there's every chance it won't have been done on purpose. Maybe this woman thinks her daughter knowing early on what makes her look fat is a helpful thing, who knows?

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