Posts: 2590
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posted October 12, 2008 10:58 AM         

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DD

I guess in the ultimate relationship you feel so safe and loved that surrendering is just a natural course.

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posted October 12, 2008 10:58 AM         

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Yeah, I forgot, sensual and affectionate, he has to be that, because I need it. That`s something I could definitely learn from him.

But basically I think I look for a man who has something in common with me ( ruler of 7th house in 1st house conjunct Sun). We need to have a common ground, and yet there has to be space between us, so that we can meet again and again and find out new things about each other.
I do not like spiritual, intellectual or emotional stagnation, but I do like physical stability, some security.
And as much as Mr Right can dream, he must also have his feet onto firm ground of reality. I do not want a complete dreamer. I want someone who takes his responsibility serious, but not overly serious.
Probably it would be good if he took life not so serious as I do. I tend to worry so much, and I would need someone who is a bit more easy-going, but not superficial.

Ah I don`t know. I guess too many contradictions.

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posted October 12, 2008 11:00 AM         

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Oh, and he has to be able to laugh at himself. That's a big one. Huge!

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See PA, that's why you don't like Ralph. He's much too serious for all of that nonsense. Oh yes, that's on my list too- Serious. I don't like comedic men. Men who are funny. I want them to be funny in their own way, but i prefer seriousness to "Pull my finger"

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posted October 12, 2008 11:01 AM         

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Ah Meta,

I actually think Jude fits into many parts of my list, that is the scary thing.

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posted October 12, 2008 11:01 AM         

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meta

quote:

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I think you're right PA. I can see RDJ being a male version of you. He has that spunk to him. That unpredictability.

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Wow! That means a lot. Like you get what I get. That's what I mean when I say I see myself in this person and see him in me. I think we'd just get each other. Point blank. A meeting of minds. Don't know about a meeting of souls. But definitely personalities and minds.

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posted October 12, 2008 11:04 AM         

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meta

Yes, I think Rafe takes himself quite seriously. He doesn't have that personality abandon that RDJ does. He can't let go. I think sexually is where Rafe lets himself go like that. But I like that freedom of expression all the time. It's honest.

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posted October 12, 2008 11:05 AM         

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DD,

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Ah Meta,
I actually think Jude fits into many parts of my list, that is the scary thing.

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Have i not yelled at you before about this restrictive behavior??? Do NOT censor your feelings!!!! Do NOT hide them or feel ashamed about them. If you feel a connection with someone, whether it is "rational" or not you need to acknowledge it. Some things you cannot analyze. Some things you cannot define with words. It just doesn't fit. So if that's what you're trying to do, if you're trying to make sense out of something that doesn't just stop it. Because you'll ruin it. Let it be. Let yourself alone. Let yourself feel what you're feeling and just cherish it. Marinate in it. It's beautiful and wonderful and horrible, and that's ok. It's ok. It. Is. Ok.

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posted October 12, 2008 11:05 AM         

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I think Colin would have a WHOLE LOT of sexual abandon. Oh, at least, I can see it, anyway. He'd be fun, me thinks!

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posted October 12, 2008 11:06 AM         

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DD

quote:

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Have i not yelled at you before about this restrictive behavior??? Do NOT censor your feelings!!!! Do NOT hide them or feel ashamed about them. If you feel a connection with someone, whether it is "rational" or not you need to acknowledge it. Some things you cannot analyze. Some things you cannot define with words. It just doesn't fit. So if that's what you're trying to do, if you're trying to make sense out of something that doesn't just stop it. Because you'll ruin it. Let it be. Let yourself alone. Let yourself feel what you're feeling and just cherish it. Marinate in it. It's beautiful and wonderful and horrible, and that's ok. It's ok. It. Is. Ok.

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WHAT SHE SAID!

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posted October 12, 2008 11:08 AM         

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meta

So you think I have spunk and unpredictability huh? See you do like me after all.

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posted October 12, 2008 11:09 AM         

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Wow! That means a lot. Like you get what I get. That's what I mean when I say I see myself in this person and see him in me. I think we'd just get each other. Point blank. A meeting of minds. Don't know about a meeting of souls. But definitely personalities and minds.

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Well yeah, the more i watch RDJ, and the more i analyze him i can see where you two would feel connected. The humor and the wit and the sense of "let's just see what happens. Throw your plans out the window" comes from your both. I think you would have a lot in common. I think you would be fascinated by all of his wild stories. He would have a lot of them too!

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posted October 12, 2008 11:11 AM         

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meta
Yes, I think Rafe takes himself quite seriously. He doesn't have that personality abandon that RDJ does. He can't let go. I think sexually is where Rafe lets himself go like that. But I like that freedom of expression all the time. It's honest.

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Exactly. I definitely agree with you. Spot on. He emancipates himself through sex, and i... well... i don't think there are words to describe how beautiful i think that is. Not in a gross way either. But he is so controlled and so sex isn't just something that "feels good" to him. I think it has a deeper meaning. It would be an experience to make love to him.

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posted October 12, 2008 11:12 AM         

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meta
So you think I have spunk and unpredictability huh? See you do like me after all.

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I do not! I loathe you! You and your Ralph-SN/Pluto-connecting-self!!!

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posted October 12, 2008 11:13 AM         

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I think Colin would have a WHOLE LOT of sexual abandon. Oh, at least, I can see it, anyway. He'd be fun, me thinks!

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I can see that. Why else would he be so... promiscuous?

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posted October 12, 2008 11:16 AM         

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I don't desire to make love to Rafe. Not even curious. Think he'd be extraordinarily passionate. But still boring. There's just something innately disinteresting about him. There's no spark. I feel no energy with him. I feel energy with RDJ and loads of it - massive - not sexual energy though. I have to feel energy with these people to connect to them. No different to my day-to-day life. I feel zero energy with Rafe.

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posted October 12, 2008 11:16 AM         

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So you`re turning BOTH against me?

At least I know now where I stand.

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posted October 12, 2008 11:17 AM         

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DD

We're not turning against you. We are trying to help you free yourself.

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posted October 12, 2008 11:18 AM         

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I don't know if Colin is promiscuous. I think he maybe just has a high sex drive. That's not the same thing. He's probably just highly sexed more than anything else.

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posted October 12, 2008 11:19 AM         

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I don't desire to make love to Rafe. Not even curious. Think he'd be extraordinarily passionate. But still boring. There's just something innately disinteresting about him. There's no spark. I feel no energy with him. I feel energy with RDJ and loads of it - massive - not sexual energy though. I have to feel energy with these people to connect to them. No different to my day-to-day life. I feel zero energy with Rafe.

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But you DO feel a connection with him... right? The past discretion feeling comes up for you, right?

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posted October 12, 2008 11:21 AM         

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So you`re turning BOTH against me?

At least I know now where I stand.

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No. I'm trying to help you. WE are trying to help you. It's ok, DD. I mean that.

What do you mean "At least i know where i stand"? Are you saying I/We don't?

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posted October 12, 2008 11:21 AM         

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Okay - Rafe - lets settle this. What I get about Rafe is this. In the movies - when he loves a woman - the way he looks at them. I like that about Rafe and I would adore for someone to look at me with that sheer desire and intensity - but not him.

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posted October 12, 2008 11:22 AM         

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No, no, I see it right. You`re turning against me.

But seriously, no, I do not restrict my feelings for Jude, they are as complicated as I describe them. And they are not really constant. I mean they are always there, but the "shade" of them just changes, sometimes a tad darker, sometimes more dreamy-eyed, sometimes more intellectual, sometimes even mixed with a lot of criticism on my side.
It`s not that I try to repress something there, I`m just like that.

Besides what horror if I actually found my soulmate!
What should I do with the rest of my life, if the search was over?

I think I might enjoy the search more than really the finding-part.

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posted October 12, 2008 11:23 AM         

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I think Rafe would like me way more than I would like him.

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posted October 12, 2008 11:24 AM         

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I have to go to bed. It's 2:30am. Have to get up early tomorrow. Holidays are now over. Back to school in the morning. Talk with you later. Have a lovely day/evening.

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posted October 12, 2008 11:28 AM         

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Meta,

that expression I used was just a joke. Don`t mind it.
I know you only want to help.

PA,

yes, for me it`s school again, too. Goodnight.

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