Posts: 3198
From: Germany
Registered: Aug 2006

posted October 22, 2008 01:00 PM         

---

Have a good night, PA,

actually I should do some work myself, now. Not that sleeping with Rafe is work, or is it?

Nah, I am talking about correcting some classtests.

Meta,

I`m not sure I really know what I want.

But I feel I want what you both describe.
I want the no-bullsh1t-love and I want the passion, that breathlessness, that need that makes you ache inside so much.

I am completel confused now. What do I want? Who am I?
HOw have I come here? Where will I be going?
Who will be there along the way?
What are the answers? Or more importantly, what is the question?

IP: Logged

Posts: 1279
From:
Registered: Apr 2008

posted October 22, 2008 01:00 PM         

---

quote:

---

Well, Meta, actually I was quoting the letter Ralph read to me last night.
I just thought I would exchange the sexes, so oyu wouldn`t be uspet.
Oh well,

---

...

Jude Law is a Nanny-f#cker.

IP: Logged

Posts: 3474
From: Australia
Registered: May 2008

posted October 22, 2008 01:00 PM         

---

quote:

---

Colin Farrell is a yucky buggerer and i bet he's horrible in the sack!!!!

---

Oh yeah, like that's likely. Puh-lease!

IP: Logged

Posts: 1279
From:
Registered: Apr 2008

posted October 22, 2008 01:01 PM         

---

quote:

---

meta
I know you don't hate me. You'll say you do, but I know better.

Goodnight meta & DD. Have a great day/night.

---

You know me so well.

Sweet STD dreams! *MUAH*

IP: Logged

Posts: 3198
From: Germany
Registered: Aug 2006

posted October 22, 2008 01:03 PM         

---

"Jude Law is a Nanny-f#cker."

So, what else is new?

*yawns*

IP: Logged

Posts: 1279
From:
Registered: Apr 2008

posted October 22, 2008 01:03 PM         

---

quote:

---

Oh yeah, like that's likely. Puh-lease!

---

How did you sneak into the VIP lounge? Security! Security!!!!

IP: Logged

Posts: 1279
From:
Registered: Apr 2008

posted October 22, 2008 01:07 PM         

---

quote:

---

Have a good night, PA,
actually I should do some work myself, now. Not that sleeping with Rafe is work, or is it?

Nah, I am talking about correcting some classtests.

---

Please. Sleeping with Ralph is a spiritual experience!!!

quote:

---

Meta,

I`m not sure I really know what I want.

But I feel I want what you both describe.
I want the no-bullsh1t-love and I want the passion, that breathlessness, that need that makes you ache inside so much.

I am completel confused now. What do I want? Who am I?
HOw have I come here? Where will I be going?
Who will be there along the way?
What are the answers? Or more importantly, what is the question?

---

I don't know if it's possible to have both. I think the outcome of each scernario is different. You have to think about what type of person you are.

I think that PA is confident in what she wants. She KNOWS what she wants. There is no question. And i feel the same. I know exactly what i am looking for. So i think that there really is no forcing it. We might WISH that we were different types of lovers or that we attracted different types of men or relationships, but when it all boils down to it, you know what type of lover you are. You know. Instinctively.

IP: Logged

Posts: 3198
From: Germany
Registered: Aug 2006

posted October 22, 2008 01:16 PM         

---

"but when it all boils down to it, you know what type of lover you are. You know. Instinctively."
I don`t.

Well, let`s play the game the other way round.
What do YOU think I want?

IP: Logged

Posts: 3649
From: U.K
Registered: Dec 2007

posted October 22, 2008 02:29 PM         

---

quote:

---

apparently he had been dancing naked for Penelope Cruz, to make her less nervous about the sexscene they had to do together. ROFL

---

DING DING DING DING DING

MARS IN LEO

Whatever you do DON'T LOOK BORED

They might walk off and sulk somewhere

p.s

If someone tells me how to do bold, I will be able to stop SHOUTING for dramatic emphasis

IP: Logged

Posts: 977
From:
Registered: Nov 2006

posted October 22, 2008 02:35 PM         

---

[b] and
[/b]
before and after

IP: Logged

Posts: 3198
From: Germany
Registered: Aug 2006

posted October 22, 2008 02:37 PM         

---

You can do bold

like this

[ b ] bold [ / b ].

just erase those spaces between the brackets and the things in brackets.

IP: Logged

Posts: 3649
From: U.K
Registered: Dec 2007

posted October 22, 2008 02:45 PM         

---

Thanks.

Leo in Mars.

look lively

IP: Logged

Posts: 3649
From: U.K
Registered: Dec 2007

posted October 22, 2008 02:45 PM         

---

dp

look lively both times

IP: Logged

Posts: 3198
From: Germany
Registered: Aug 2006

posted October 22, 2008 03:42 PM         

---

And what about Mars in Leo?

The DVD of the mini series "Scarlett" arrived, and I was watching the Making Of, forwarding to the interview tidbits of Sean.
And well, he was talking about how much fun it is to play those characters, where the evilness and wickedness is lurking just beneath the surface.
I know that most actors will tell you that. But the wickedness of his grin, when he said that, actually gave me a few goosebumps.
Seems he had REAL fun playing that character.
LOL

IP: Logged

Posts: 1279
From:
Registered: Apr 2008

posted October 22, 2008 04:00 PM         

---

quote:

---

"but when it all boils down to it, you know what type of lover you are. You know. Instinctively."
I don`t.
Well, let`s play the game the other way round.
What do YOU think I want?

---

I think you want to be loved for who you are. I think you want to be made to feel secure about the relationship, and about yourself. You want to be told that you are beautiful and the epitomy of perfection as you stand before me. You want to KNOW that there is nothing to worry about, that there is no need for jealousy. There is no need for doubt. You want to know your lover will love you with his entire being and you can just rest your head.

I think you're tired of chasing. You want to be chased. And caught. And kept.

IP: Logged

Posts: 3198
From: Germany
Registered: Aug 2006

posted October 22, 2008 04:28 PM         

---

"I think you're tired of chasing. You want to be chased. And caught. And kept."

Yes. I think you`re right there.

I`m really tired of all those games.
And sometimes I just feel like I do not want to be the one to decide, sometimes I just want to be convinced.

It`s a little bit like Stu said in "About Adam":

"She`s pretending she wants the right to choose when and where and how and so on. But in fact she wants it completely taken out of her hands. [...] She wants no choice. Like in a situation, when it just has to happen."

I must say, I can relate to that a bit more than I feel comfortable to admit.
Of course I want a choice and the right to decide. But the problem with choices is, that I make a choice, and the minute after that I am wondering again, if it was the right one, and if there hadn`t been another choice.

I guess what i really want is NO doubts. At all. The feeling of YES inside, without any little `no` or even `maybe`or `what if`.

IP: Logged

Posts: 3649
From: U.K
Registered: Dec 2007

posted October 22, 2008 05:11 PM         

---

quote:

---

no candidate for marriage

---

No, not up for that myself, purely for entertainment purposes.

IP: Logged

Posts: 3474
From: Australia
Registered: May 2008

posted October 22, 2008 08:05 PM         

---

DD

quote:

---

I guess what i really want is NO doubts.

---

There's no such thing. You are seeking the ultimate security - that this one person is going to love you and be devoted to you and want to be with you and only you forever. You want to know that they're not going to leave or die or that the love is not going to fade. You face the same fears that every person who chooses to love face. No-one can give you that security. And you can't ask them too. You just have to trust that you can deal with whatever happens and that you're worthy of love.

The problem with you needing convincing is that you, personally, would resist. Most likely you're stronger than him. And forcing otherwise is rape on whatever level it occurs. And you don't want that. You have to surrender to some degree. Otherwise you never know. And not knowing is far worse than trying and aching. The biggest regrets are not trying, not knowing.

IP: Logged

Posts: 1279
From:
Registered: Apr 2008

posted October 22, 2008 08:05 PM         

---

quote:

---

meta
Who is the better lover and why?
a) Jeremy Irons
b) Daniel Day-Lewis
c) Ralph Fiennes

---

I wanted to come back to this and answer...

I inevitably think that there is no necessary "better" or "best" lover. They're all just different. The vibes, the relationships, the chemistry between these men and myself would vary sincerely; as would the chemistry between each of you and any of the lovers you desire.

Jeremy Irons- i don't think i could ever have a romantic relationship with Jeremy. Not that i am not attracted to him or wouldn't be tempted to engage with him in that way, but i feel like he is complete. He is fulfilled. I don't feel like he is unsatisfied or that there is something that i have which he is lacking in his life. His wife completes him. His children, his friends, his whatever and whoever. He's not searching for anything. I have nothing essential to offer him.

Daniel Day-Lewis - The sexual encouter that would happen between he and i would be tender. It would be majestic. Warm. Affectionate. Very Taurean. There wouldn't be any hostility or sorrow. Just this sense of "I belong to you and you belong to me, and i will never have to question that. Ever."

Ralph Fiennes- The sexual encounter that would happen between us would be.. not dangerous but something similar. I feel like he and i both want to surrender fully and have someone surrender to us, but neither of us wants to be the first to shed their armor. So this would be tangled with control issues and brimming emotions from both parties. It would be a spiritual experience, for me at least. There is just something about Ralph that makes me feel like he could be my maker. My match. My equal. That, if i had the chance to love him, i would be ruined for any and everything. Which, as you all know, is what i am searching for, more or less. I'm not saying HE is my soulmate, but perhaps the person i think him to be is.

IP: Logged

Posts: 3474
From: Australia
Registered: May 2008

posted October 22, 2008 08:09 PM         

---

meta

I haven't finished reading your post - but regarding Jeremy - no, no - disagree totally. The man is completely incomplete. He's sad. Sure, he's vain. But he's a desperately sad individual that one. He needs someone else to complete him. His wife doesn't really do that - to some level she does - they're combative. But it's not the intimacy he needs. He's afraid of the very love that at the centre of his being he years for oh so desperately. There is this inner loneliness within him that is virtually impossible to be filled by any one person.

IP: Logged

Posts: 1279
From:
Registered: Apr 2008

posted October 22, 2008 08:09 PM         

---

quote:

---

There's no such thing. You are seekaing the ultimate security - that this one person is going to love you and be devoted to you and want to be with you and only you forever. You want to know that they're not going to leave or die or that the love is not going to fade. You face the same fears that every person who chooses to love face. No-one can give you that security. And you can't ask them too. You just have to trust that you can deal with whatever happens and that you're worthy of love.

The problem with you needing convincing is that you, personally, would resist. Most likely you're stronger than him. And forcing otherwise is rape on whatever level it occurs. And you don't want that. You have to surrender to some degree. Otherwise you never know. And not knowing is far worse than trying and aching. The biggest regrets are not trying, not knowing.

---

She's a smart one, that PA!

Really what this it all comes down to is a test of self. A test of your own faith. You have be able to TRUST that other person, but in order to do that you have to love yourself. You have to have to be secure within you before you can be secure within a relationship. What you are looking for is a declaration that you have nothing to fear, but whether or not that is true won't matter if the doubts are coming from inside of you.

IP: Logged

Posts: 3474
From: Australia
Registered: May 2008

posted October 22, 2008 08:12 PM         

---

meta

Rafe's armour is his ego. And he's not willing to shed that - no matter how much he really wants someone to look into the depths of his soul. When I look at Rafe I see deep sexual potential - someone who at their soul is a lover - but, he can't relinquish control of himself. He can't give himself or of himself. He's untouchable. There's always this sense of never being able to get close enough. He'll core into you - go right to your depths but it would never be equal. He prides himself on being to get that deep into a woman. It's his power over them. He won't relinquish that.

IP: Logged

Posts: 1279
From:
Registered: Apr 2008

posted October 22, 2008 08:13 PM         

---

quote:

---

meta
I haven't finished reading your post - but regarding Jeremy - no, no - disagree totally. The man is completely incomplete. He's sad. Sure, he's vain. But he's a desperately sad individual that one. He needs someone else to complete him. His wife doesn't really do that - to some level she does - they're combative. But it's not the intimacy he needs. He's afraid of the very love that at the centre of his being he years for oh so desperately. There is this inner loneliness within him that is virtually impossible to be filled by any one person.

---

You see, i don't see that. I don't see him as looking for something that he is missing in his life now. I'm not talking about his supposed vanity either. Arrogance is easy to see through. But maybe i cannot see it because i am putting myself in the equation. I mean that there is nothing I have that would be able to fill any void in him. He's not seeking something from me. I could help him work through any and all troubles he has, and i would love to do it, but a romantic partnership between he and i would not heal him. I don't think at least.

IP: Logged

Posts: 3474
From: Australia
Registered: May 2008

posted October 22, 2008 08:16 PM         

---

quote:

---

but in order to do that you have to love yourself.

---

You have to trust that you have the ability to deal with anything that comes before you and that you will survive it - regardless of the immensity of pain. There is pain where you feel you want to die - but you can survive even the depth of that pain. Mostly because you have to. But you can. You do. When something happens you see everyone going about their business and it hurts, seeing them happy and functioning but one day you see that you can involve yourself in that too. There's no time frame - but you do - because you're here and at some time you just get tired of being in pain. The sensation of pain on any level can be highly addictive. It's a safe place - ironically. It gives you permission not to function - not to live. It's an excuse to bury yourself in fear rather than trust life and yourself and live.

IP: Logged

Posts: 3474
From: Australia
Registered: May 2008

posted October 22, 2008 08:18 PM         

---

meta

Jeremy. That just means you're not the right person for him. That's all. He can have that - but that dynamic is not between you. If you want to heal him - he'll take it and suck you dry. He's a bottomless pit of need. I love JJI. Think he's fabulous - as an actor and as a connection - I've always felt something for/with him. But he'd suck you dry. He really would. Very needy.

IP: Logged