posted October 26, 2008 12:04 AM         

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This is Dolores O'riordan- lead singer of The Cranberries. Much more my type.

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posted October 26, 2008 12:11 AM         

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Yes, you're right about that. I think in my mind I have very definite functions/roles of woman and then men. I like that traditional place. As a woman I like to have a man protect me. But as a human being I have different desires/needs. As a woman I don't mind a dominant/strong man. As a human being I demand equality for everyone. Not saying I don't want equality in a relationship - definitely want that - but those roles - they're okay - men are physically stronger than women - let them hunt. That's how they're made.

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posted October 26, 2008 12:14 AM         

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What is it about girly guys that appeals to you? What's the psychology behind that? What's the attraction/appeal? I don't understand. Is it that they have an effeminate side - ie. soft, feminine. And I don't mean to dredge up hurts here - but is it replacing the love of a mother with the love of a lover with the essence and safety that mother should provide?

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No. It's very different. I'm not searching for a mother in my lover. I'm not searching for a mother at all.

I think that the attraction for girly men is that they have the vulnerability and emotional nature of a "woman" but they are still men. There's something about femininity that is so... emotional. And truly, all in all, that's what i want. As you know.

posted October 26, 2008 12:15 AM         

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It's amazing that we can be so similar yet so different. When it comes to men and ... well, women! we're opposites.

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posted October 26, 2008 12:17 AM         

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drat - my friend has arrived - how dare she, just as I'm oogling my synastry chart with Jen!! asteroids and all...!!!

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posted October 26, 2008 12:19 AM         

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I think that the attraction for girly men is that they have the vulnerability and emotional nature of a "woman" but they are still men. There's something about femininity that is so... emotional. And truly, all in all, that's what i want. As you know.

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posted October 26, 2008 12:20 AM         

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I know - so strange though. You like effeminate men and masculine women. And I like manly men and womenly women.

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posted October 26, 2008 12:22 AM         

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LMAO. Pretty much!

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I KNOW!

posted October 26, 2008 12:23 AM         

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Can a man possess that inner vulerability and emotional nature without the effeminate appearance? Or is that part of the package - like, a must - so that it's visually obvious?

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I've honestly never been attracted to a manly man. I've never been attracted to a man who wasn't effeminate in his appearance. I don't know why. I can't explain it. I have met men who are effeminate in their appearance but weren't dainty, ya know. But.. there is something thing hooks me. That i can't ignore.

posted October 26, 2008 12:26 AM         

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meta

I think that Christian Bale has that vulnerability and emotionalness. Even though you probably don't see it in him. And he's very very manly looking. So, is it possible that you don't see it in him because of his physique/appearance? Or you just don't "feel" that essence from him - don't connect with him in that place?

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I'm attracted to Christian Bale, but it wasn't instinctual. It was after having seen him as an actor. After having felt that Scorpio nature. Plus, you showed me some very effeminate pictures of him which knocked me over.

posted October 26, 2008 12:46 AM         

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meta

Okay - so we're visually sexual creatures. Hugh Hefner has made squillions out of catering to this basic human need. So, it's the appearance that triggers the eroticism? I need the feeling to be there - the energy. The look is very secondary - but it's still important. It has to be something really really quelching to put the brakes on though. I don't have a certain look or place a great deal upon appearance but there are a very few things that I really don't like. But then, there's the question - if all other elements are right - do you let it go because the person is shorter than you idealise? How significant is it in the end?

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You're talking about love, i think. I'm talking about attraction.

Looks ARE secondary when it comes to love. Definitely. If there isn't chemistry, if there is that affection, then there is nothing.

However, you don't SEE someone's personality the first time you look at them. You see there body. When it comes to bodies, i am drawn to femininity. Without knowing, or speaking to someone i would tell you that what i will be turned on by is a girly appearance.

posted October 26, 2008 12:48 AM         

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Those pics of Christian were girly because he was wearing make-up and nail polish. But otherwise, I think Christian is very very manly - externally. I think he'd be very manly internally too - fiercely protective. That's a distinctive manly trait as far as I'm concerned.

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posted October 26, 2008 12:49 AM         

Goodness! Jen's Venus & Mars conjunct your NN!

posted October 26, 2008 01:08 AM         

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You're talking about love, i think. I'm talking about attraction.

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Yes, I think you're right. But when it comes to love they are not separate things. There are men that I can find attractive and not love or fall in love with. But can never fall in love without finding them attractive. Well, you can - but then you've got that whole attraction-repulsion thing happening - and that's never a good or healthy thing.

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Looks ARE secondary when it comes to love. Definitely. If there isn't chemistry, if there is that affection, then there is nothing.

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That's the dilemma. How do you get past the looks to give the person the chance to get to know them?

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However, you don't SEE someone's personality the first time you look at them. You see there body.

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Yes, definitely. The first time you meet someone you see their appearance. And it is from that that you make the decision to pursue something or not. If you don't like the look of them, you are not going to pursue anything - because it has coloured your perception of them - no matter what qualities the possess or what energy you make together.

But there is another dynamic when you look at someone. You can feel the energy between you. And if that strong enough or magnetic enough - it can over-ride some of the other things.

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When it comes to bodies, i am drawn to femininity. Without knowing, or speaking to someone i would tell you that what i will be turned on by is a girly appearance.

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Yeah, we're very different here. That's a total turn off for me. I like a man to look like a man - to have a chest and shoulders and some hair on his chest, big hands that look like he actually uses them - does manly things with them.

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What do you mean let it go? I wouldn't "get with" someone based off of physical appearance. I never have. I've never fallen in love with someone i didn't know as a person first. Someone i didn't know as a friend first. The attraction may have been there from the start, but love doesn't develop from looks.

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No but looks is what draws us in initially. It all comes down to those first few seconds. And yes, by let go, I meant to not pursue the relationship.