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Author
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Topic: Self-Acceptance & Forgiveness
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Meduza
Knowflake Posts: 133
From:
Registered: Feb 2008
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posted November 26, 2008 10:52 PM
 
Hey guys, I have been dealing with feelings of intense guilt and shame over some things I have done in my past. It’s very difficult to like myself right now. I have come to hate myself and it’s killing me. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can forgive myself and move forward?
Thanks in advance, Meduza
IP: Logged |
AcousticGod
Knowflake Posts: 13867
From: CA, USA
Registered: May 2005
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posted November 26, 2008 11:50 PM
It is tough, but you're not unforgivable. You have value. You have talent. You are not bound to behave in any way that you behaved in the past. You have the choice and the authority over yourself to imagine yourself in a better way for tomorrow. If you do something to make proud you of yourself every day, how long will it take before your pride in your accomplishments erase your shame for some acts of immaturity? It may help to find value in the lessons you've learned through your bad experiences. If you're able to talk with someone about it, that may also serve to widen your perspective. Provided that the person isn't harsh or judgmental, it would probably help you to be in the presence of someone else who is willing to overlook your shortcomings of the past. That way maybe you can find yourself following their lead. IP: Logged |
PeaceAngel
Knowflake Posts: 6500
From: Australia
Registered: May 2008
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posted November 26, 2008 11:59 PM
The best way is to walk straight into the honesty of your actions, take responsibility for your part in them, learn from them and forgive yourself for doing what you knew at the time and be conscious that they've made you a more aware person and that you are not that person and would not make those choices again, and you now have something of great value that you can teach and share with others.If someone else had done whatever things to you have, would you forgive them? What would you say to them? Then say those things to yourself. And forgive yourself, as you would anyone else. If you're not a forgiving person, now is the time to learn compassion. It's when we learn compassion for ourselves that we are able to offer it to others more effectively and truthfully. It takes an enormous amount of honesty and courage to step up and say what you've said and admit those. You've just learnt a great lesson that has given you something of great value to carry for the rest of your life. Be thankful for the experience and move forward, with love. IP: Logged |
LEXX
Moderator Posts: 1922
From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat.........& LEXIGRAMMING... is my Passion!
Registered: Jan 2008
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posted November 27, 2008 01:34 AM
It is in the past. Unless you continue to do such things...then you are on the path to move beyond whatever it was. Forgive yourself and as it is said..."go forth and sin no more".
Everyone goofs up and has or will eventually make a bad choice. The big thing is will you repeat it or not? Have you learned from your mistake?
You are not who you were then.
Forgive that old version of you and embrace the new you with love and understanding. 
E-mail me if you need someone to hear you out.
My e-mail is on my moderator link at Labors Of Love.------------------
Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain. IP: Logged |
LEXX
Moderator Posts: 1922
From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat.........& LEXIGRAMMING... is my Passion!
Registered: Jan 2008
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posted November 27, 2008 01:46 AM
I thought e-mail addresses were on our profiles? Mine is not showing up there.IP: Logged |
CrimsonChyld
Knowflake Posts: 325
From: Murray, UT
Registered: May 2008
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posted November 27, 2008 02:04 AM
I feel for you. I've done some horrible things in my past as well, but when I saw those I cared about most forgive me, I started to forgive myself a little. It takes time, but I think you need to start with forgiving yourself and seeing that you are a valuable person worthy of forgiveness. To err is human.. to learn from it and grow from it to make you a better person and to know and aknowledge that what you did was somehow wrong. That's a start. What surprises me is people who mess up in life and honestly don't think that what they did was wrong.. that's messed up.
Okay, I'm tired and tend to preach way too much when I get tired lol..
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"Secrets and lies can sleep from the walls of Rome if we sit hard enough on them. They are undeniably destined to come out. Tomorrow, the next day or a hundred years from now!" IP: Logged |
blue moon
Moderator Posts: 4652
From: U.K
Registered: Dec 2007
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posted November 27, 2008 02:59 AM
Wow, a big question. It's not breakfast time here yet. I could think about this all day but maybe the first thing in my head is going to be more helpful. I tend to opt for a blunt apology. Then I ask myself what I have learned from the situation, and how I am going to endeavour to do better next time. If thinking about your past helps you to get closure and/or resolve things in your mind that's great. But if you feel like you are starting to get self-indulgent it might be time to do something practical, maybe some voluntary work or a charity challenge. Something to help redress the balance. IP: Logged |
Azalaksh
Moderator Posts: 7381
From: New Brighton, MN, USA
Registered: Nov 2004
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posted November 27, 2008 12:42 PM
Please read some of these, Meduza:
http://www.coping.org/innerhealing/forgive.htm To err is human, that's our lot -- no one is perfect. We've all done thoughtless and hurtful things to others (and to ourselves) -- we all have a past that we may not be very happy with. But, as the other responders here have said, you are not that same person now that you were when you acted thoughtlessly. Live each day mindfully, and be kind to others, but most of all, cut yourself some slack and be kind to yourself. Zala IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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