posted November 27, 2008 05:51 AM         

We know what you and GW get up to in the oval office. We have tapes of that too. Just don't get the dress dry-cleaned. Could prove difficult later.

Just a taste of the proof. You don't want me to post the nudes do you? Well, for the sake of eyesight and mental health of LLers, it's best to not.

posted November 27, 2008 05:53 AM         

Wonder what usernames we can offer them?

posted November 27, 2008 01:53 PM         

_________________________

I'm not sure who Peace Angel saw, but my blue moon was not Condi Rice. It's true Condi was staying at our hotel, though, and I can neither confirm nor deny that she was invited to our suite for drinks.

I was surprised that there really wasn't any awkwardness at all when BM and I met up. I was a little bummed to learn that she wasn't into gambling at all, but Vegas has so much to offer I was confident we'd find something to do. Of course in the back of my mind I was looking forward to meeting the rest of LL at the Wayne Newton show that LaLaLinda set up.

BM,

I did send a copy to PA as I know she's into watching, you know, porn and all. I trust that she won't be posting it online, or trying to peddle it anywhere. I certainly don't think she'll be putting it in a Gigli cover and returning it to the library. As for the original I sent you, maybe I got the address wrong or something.

posted November 27, 2008 09:01 PM         

Uhhhh, so BM wasn't Condi. Right then. That explains a lot. Perhaps too much Scotch mist for me.

posted November 27, 2008 09:03 PM         

I end up sitting in my hotel room watching movies because I'm not 21 yet.

posted November 28, 2008 02:09 AM         

Borrow my spare passport, I said.

What are you talking about? Said Peace, getting all Aries on me.

Gemini innit? I'm a dual national, I said, with two surnames. Besides the photo is 20 years out of date. That fixes the age gap. O.K, me and MP don't look that alike. Easy solution.

Fancy Dress.

So with that we all set to sorting our outfits, and raiding the fridge in the room.

posted November 28, 2008 02:26 AM         

Here in the land of Ozzy and Led Zep, no one blinks twice at a woman with interesting ink.

But would she regret it in the morning?

I'll show you what I got later. Not a miniscule girlie flowery one that Scorpionic Web finds almost acceptable, so bad luck fella.

Las Vegas tatts:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/jonpoulson/sets/72157594149971474

posted November 28, 2008 04:51 AM         

where would this tattoo be?

posted November 28, 2008 05:11 AM         

I raced out the door just in time to spy out of the corner of my eye, Peace Angel blowing on Colin Farrell’s nipples. I yelled out “It’s wax, Peace Angel, for goodness sake. You could choke!!” I didn’t look behind, but suddenly realized why PA had looked red in the face while checking Bono out.

Checking out the Main Strip, I heard the sweet chirp of Spunkinini’s voice. “Hey Koi, come and join me in a hot dog. Not just any hot dog, but the Mega Dog!!! I really want you to try one”. Her eyebrows jumped up and down with a devilish look in her eye.

“Thanks Spunky, is that raspberry sauce on it? No thanks, not very hungry at the mo.”

I passed a few casinos and an information booth where a woman with a German accent was standing. She was sobbing about having no Shakespearean plays. “You have everything here!!! It is a lover’s playground, but you have no romance!!! Where is the romance with no Shakespeare?”

I moved quickly by. The night was falling and the bright lights were calling my name!!!

I bumped into an old friend. “Meta”, I cried. “Koi", she exclaimed. "My kindred Ralph admirer! Join me at Circus Circus – they have hot bandits there!! You can get 3 free spins! Get 5 hairy chests in a row, and you win a fluoro green mankini…!!!!” I told her I wasn’t interested in hairy chests. Her demeanour changed. Her eye started to twitch. A little bit of froth began to form on her lip. Her voice thundered as if from a darth vadar voice changer…….

“You will join me, or else I will tie you up in Caesar’s Palace and subject you to an hour of Celine Dion!!!!!!”

Oh no! That was enough to scare me off!!!

Away I fled. I leapt through the doors of the Excalibur Hotel. The castle-like lobby was exquisite. Bluemoon was feeding coins into the slot machines and clicking her fingers at the same time. A staff member came up. “I would like to talk to the manager", she demanded. "These castle walls are not authentic. Whoever designed this place has no idea of the masonry skills during the Rennaissance. There’s no defined bastion point. Where are the Grotteschi hanging motifs? The Knights Templar would choke on a keystone if they were here. And where is the back door???”.

I felt like fresh air after the excitement of Las Vegas. I hitched to Area 51. I thought the peace would quieten my mind after an exhausting fun-filled day with Lindalanders. After all, the desert is a safe quiet place. What could possibly go wrong?