posted December 03, 2008 07:46 AM         

The Why's of Men

1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?

(because they are plugged into a genius)


2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?

(they don't have enough time)

3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?

(they don't stop to ask directions)

4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?

(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)


5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?

(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)

6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?

(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)

7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?

(don't know.....it never happened)

posted December 03, 2008 01:45 PM         

(they don't stop to ask directions)

I would say that it's dark in there.

7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?

(don't know.....it never happened)

posted December 03, 2008 01:52 PM         

A women-hating, men-hating, everyone-hating Gemini girl sent this to me:

1) For all those men who say, "Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free?" Here’s an update for you: Nowadays, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY? Because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.

2) Men are like Laxatives. They irritate the crap out of you.

3) Men are like Bananas. The older they get, the less firm they are.

4) Men are like Weather. Nothing can be done to change them.

5) Men are like Blenders. You need one, but you’re not quite sure why.

6) Men are like Chocolate Bars... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.

7) Men are like Commercials. You can’t believe a word they say.

8) Men are like Department Stores... Their clothes are always 1/2 off!

9) Men are like Government Bonds... They take soooooooo long to mature.

10) Men are like... Mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

11) Men are like Popcorn. They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

12) Men are like Snowstorms. You never know when they’re coming, how many inches you’ll get or how long it will last.

13) Men are like Lava Lamps. Fun to look at, but not very bright.

posted December 05, 2008 12:06 AM         

Fortunately all men aren't like that.. I think the men who are raised with sisters or a few women in the home are more respectful to the whole toilet seat thing. I've fallen in a couple of times as a kid and it aint fun lol.

posted December 05, 2008 05:51 AM         

AG

Ummm, and those are the only two points you are going to counter?

posted December 09, 2008 01:57 AM         

Here's a blonde GUY joke the ex sent me.. good for sh!ts and giggles...

The very first ever Blonde GUY joke..... And well worth the wait!An Irishman , a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, 'Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building.' The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, 'Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too.' The blonde opened his lunch and said, ' Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too.' The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death. The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too. The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well. At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, 'If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!' The Mexican's wife also wept and said, 'I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much.'

(Oh this is GOOD!!)

Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. The blonde's wife said, 'Don't look at me. The idiot makes his own lunch.'