|
Author
|
Topic: I feel so guilt-ridden
|
MyVirgoMask
Knowflake Posts: 949
From: processing destination......
Registered: Sep 2008
|
posted December 22, 2008 07:07 AM
 
Lara, that puts tremendous pressure on you, if he's saying he'd only leave the family for love. Love is there for him, and it's he who need to use the courage - he can't possibly expect you to take the chances and risks for him. I'm sure he's totally drawn to your strength and resolve, and has complete admiration for you. But he needs to also take a chance too! I'm glad to hear they live apart. But also, what's the point of not living together and remaining married? I don't feel he and the woman he's with are 'together'...it feels like a habitual bond more than anything. Like being in quicksand. However, this is just my feeling. IP: Logged |
writesomething
Knowflake Posts: 2434
From: meet me in montauk
Registered: May 2006
|
posted December 22, 2008 07:10 AM
wait im confused, you said he said you were his soulmate, and offered you love, but now youre saying he says he wont leave his marriage unless hes in love? im confused..i think if i were you ,id guard my heart like a hawk. i dont know him, but it takes time for people to process 1 relationship out....i dont know but i dont get a good feeling about him.IP: Logged |
PeaceAngel
Knowflake Posts: 7382
From: Australia
Registered: May 2008
|
posted December 22, 2008 07:11 AM
MVMThe more of your posts I read - the more I fall in love with you. Your astro insights to your advice - I think you're fantastic.  Okay - back to thread. Enough love fest. I'm still annoyed with you for sparking my curiousity.  How long before astro forum is back up!  IP: Logged |
MyVirgoMask
Knowflake Posts: 949
From: processing destination......
Registered: Sep 2008
|
posted December 22, 2008 07:15 AM
Awww, Peaceangel...more lovefest 
...right back at ya!IP: Logged |
Lara
Knowflake Posts: 3609
From: London
Registered: Mar 2006
|
posted December 22, 2008 07:22 AM
WriteSomething -
Now he is making moves to get divorced. When l first spoke to him months ago l said exactly what you just said, to him and thats when he said "when l fall in love then i'm gone"When l met him he said two things to me 1. I am making steps to divorce.
2. Brush up on your french so you can speak with my kids.
Yes, a swan and a dolphin PA
IP: Logged |
PeaceAngel
Knowflake Posts: 7382
From: Australia
Registered: May 2008
|
posted December 22, 2008 07:25 AM
MVMOkay okay - shucks - enough of the love fest. We're going to start making others sick. IP: Logged |
PeaceAngel
Knowflake Posts: 7382
From: Australia
Registered: May 2008
|
posted December 22, 2008 07:26 AM
LaraI have a book around here somewhere. I'll post you information about swan and dolphin power animals (totem animals). Just give me a little while to find it and type it up.  IP: Logged |
PeaceAngel
Knowflake Posts: 7382
From: Australia
Registered: May 2008
|
posted December 22, 2008 08:18 AM
Ah, I can't find the book. When I find it, I'll give you that information.IP: Logged |
bunnies
Knowflake Posts: 631
From: U.K
Registered: Mar 2007
|
posted December 22, 2008 09:35 AM
Oh Lara.
This is a big responsibility for you to take on.
Someone elses happiness.
I will only divorce for love is such a loaded statement.
The day you falter in your duty he is going to say.....well I think you know what he is going to say.
Are you prepared for that?
What about you sweet Lara?
Does anyone care about what you need?
You also have children.
Say "D'accord mon cher and you can brush up on how to deal with my kids!IP: Logged |
26taurus
Knowflake Posts: 15101
From: *
Registered: Jun 2004
|
posted December 22, 2008 09:55 AM
Obviously they are soulmates - they married each other! That's always a pretty karmic bond/arrangement. Even though they didnt last, that right there says a lot. I'm sure youve had soulmates that have come and gone too Lara. I'm finding that almost 90% of people I know and ones I meet in life are soulmates. Even the ones that I dont get to know very well often make a big impact and I have much to learn from or through them. I think you should stay open to a relationship with him Lara. Thlnk about it a little more?Best of luck!  IP: Logged |
Lara
Knowflake Posts: 3609
From: London
Registered: Mar 2006
|
posted December 22, 2008 11:31 AM
ok so l asked him for his wife's DOB and was shocked. She was born on the same day/same year as my brother loland he is born one day after my mother! So l am going to post their chart (her birth time unknown)
HE is on the outside. 
IP: Logged |
Lara
Knowflake Posts: 3609
From: London
Registered: Mar 2006
|
posted December 22, 2008 11:38 AM
and my synastry with THE WIFE
(im on the outside) 
so basically to clear up any confusion. He told me before l met him that he was separated from his wife for a year. He wants to divorce her but he hasn't as of yet because he had no girlfriend and so it was bearable for him. He wanted to tell his kids he is divorcing their mother for love.
So we met and then he says to me i'd like you to be my girlfriend but of course l have only 50% of the decision. So l said well my 50% is happy to be in your life too but l don't want to be part of your divorce and l don't want to be asking you in a years time "when are you getting divorced?"
He said "don't worry, you won't on either"
He drove home and saw his father that night. He texted me to say "I told my father about you" I said "what did you tell him". He said "That l had a new girlfriend!"
They are all catholic. He is very open with me and expressive. in our synastry too. In composite we have sun/moon conjunct etc. I will keep open to him 26Taurus, good call thank you IP: Logged |
Lara
Knowflake Posts: 3609
From: London
Registered: Mar 2006
|
posted December 22, 2008 11:40 AM
I'd love that PA thanks IP: Logged |
Lara
Knowflake Posts: 3609
From: London
Registered: Mar 2006
|
posted December 22, 2008 12:03 PM
MVM
you said:
quote:
Lara, that puts tremendous pressure on you, if he's saying he'd only leave the family for love. Love is there for him, and it's he who need to use the courage - he can't possibly expect you to take the chances and risks for him. I'm sure he's totally drawn to your strength and resolve, and has complete admiration for you. But he needs to also take a chance too!
How do you mean me take the risk? You are right that he needs to take a chance too! IP: Logged |
MyVirgoMask
Knowflake Posts: 949
From: processing destination......
Registered: Sep 2008
|
posted December 22, 2008 04:06 PM
Ok, so it sounds like a lot of his trepidation about divorce generally has to do with his own upbringing and background. This is creepy, it's reminding me somewhat of a situation I was in myself less than a year ago right as I was divorcing my ex. The other guy and I also sun conjunct moon but in synastry, and had I stuck to it, we'd have been married by now (but I've found that I hate having my moon conjunct a man's sun  LOL) No doubt you have a tremendous impact on him. I remember from the chart you posted on the astro forum that your moon and Venus conjunct his NN - he's definitely got a lot to learn from you. OK, so ideally it's a 2-way thing, but I do think that in this case you're helping him utilize his past lessons and apply them to his life and integrate them. Something I've noticed about people I've met with their NN in the 4th house: They're so much about 'others' and sometimes feel they are at the mercy of external circumstances. Especially with his SN in Libra! Part of his journey is probably to take all he's done for others and use it as a blueprint for his own desires, his soul. If anything he needs to be more 'selfish', and say he wants something with confidence and have faith that he'll be supported in his desires.
And even if it's not and not everyone approves, well, he'll need to be okay with that too...
IP: Logged |
Lara
Knowflake Posts: 3609
From: London
Registered: Mar 2006
|
posted December 22, 2008 06:44 PM
Hi MVMyes, in fact his NN/IC conjuncts my AC/moon/venus/NN/saturn and all my stellium trines his AC/NN
poor guy! He is so much about others but he can learn to be selfish from me
He was so shy when after l met him l said "so where does live leave us now" and he said about how he'd like me to be his girlfriend but it wasn't his decision. I thought that was so sweet of him!
Normally men presume that you are dying to be their girlfriends lol
He was so shy cos he was scared l would slap him or something. He will be ok. He is a good dreamer and he will dream again Thanks MVM, l feel much better now and less guilty. Maybe l was empathizing with his feelings like PA said. IP: Logged |
MyVirgoMask
Knowflake Posts: 949
From: processing destination......
Registered: Sep 2008
|
posted December 22, 2008 06:50 PM
"...he was scared l would slap him or something."  Awww... Glad you feel better!
I hear you about the empathic stuff. It's never easy. I try to keep an eye on it, but it's hard to pin down sometimes.
IP: Logged |
Lindaland
UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! 
