posted February 24, 2009 01:14 AM            

I've added "Living Out Loud" to my movie list too.. hopefully this weekend..

Thank you SO much for the reading you did for me today, for taking the time out of your busy schedule to do it - I really appreciate it!!

posted February 24, 2009 05:15 AM            

quote:

---

Just asking for help means you have the seed of survival

---

Quoting Mel above. She is so right. I am happy to hear you are not shutting yourself off. I realised that when I feel bad I do just that. Keep the tide of friends flooding in Sunshine. They really do help don't they?
to you and to Mel, who never fails to amaze me with her generosity, and to her daughter too, who I am quite envious of, as imagine how in the future she will go home to such a Ma if her heart gets bruised?

You are not alone Sunshine.

at the "effing sunshine" pic.

posted February 24, 2009 05:23 AM            

You seem like a really together person who has suddenly dropped into a crisis. Just keep looking after yourself. It's a good idea you have friends calling you.

posted February 24, 2009 10:21 AM            

Good mornin' Sunshine... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yop62wQH498

posted February 24, 2009 11:24 PM            

It does so help to have friends around to help you thru the fructose times.. I had a rough day again today! I guess it takes time to heal, and it helps to have friends who care, rooting for you. They make up the light at the end of the tunnel, or even hands that support you in the dark on your way out toward the light, and for that I'm truly grateful to everyone here, for being my support!!

posted February 24, 2009 11:45 PM            

I'm so happy that there is a cutie keeping you like that, and would love details! I actually need to take some time one of these days to browse around the threads in these here parts to get caught up on news.. been gone awhile!!

*lightbulb goes off* Perhaps when I'm done with the big presentation in 3 weeks - I'll dive in then, and get busy!

posted February 25, 2009 02:53 AM              

Even i used to cry at intervals when the pain would come back all of a sudden after a calm patch...

I know you are tired of hearing it, but it does get better.

posted February 25, 2009 09:39 AM            

Did you see this? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rooyt3ptNco
Sunchild posted it in Heathcliff's corner and Lexx reposted it in a thread here in LLCentral. It's beautiful.

A man traveling across a field encountered a tiger. He fled, the tiger after him. Coming to a precipice, he caught hold of the root of a wild vine and swung himself over the edge.

The tiger sniffed at him from above. Trembling, the man looked down to where, far below, another tiger was waiting to eat him. Only the vine sustained him.

Two mice, one white and one black, little by little started to gnaw away the vine. The man then saw a luscious strawberry near him. Grasping the vine with one hand, he plucked the strawberry with the other.

How sweet it tasted.

posted February 25, 2009 10:36 AM            

Coooooooome to me Oreos.... commmmmmeeeeee....
(applying the law of attraction)

posted February 25, 2009 01:02 PM              

I`m sorry you have to go through this.
But from what I read here, you ARE a strong woman. You will come through.

I don`t have a good advice, but I second the advice to get angry. It`s a good one.
Also how about some angry-making music?
It always helped me. the last time I was feeling like that I was listening to "You made me think you were in love" (from "Tell me on a sunday") and also "Karma Killer" (sung by Robbie Williams) - those songs helped me a lot to get in touch with my anger.
And of course my all time classic "I will survive".

And in the later phase also: "Somewhere, someplace, sometime"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9dPNIILmkQ&feature=related

posted February 25, 2009 08:16 PM            

Oddest thing happened today.. earlier in the day, the clouds were over me and I had a crying spell in a dark, unoccupied room at work over him.. Then, the CEO called a meeting at work, and we got the news about impending layoffs - this is the 2nd time we're having them, and our already small company (of 12) is apparently going to shrink to a "skeleton crew". I was perfectly calm on hearing that, no emotions or tears really left.. strange. But I guess I've been through so much upheaval in the last week alone, so this didn't faze me.

Though, I'm looking at the real possibility of losing my means of support now, and my work visa along with it (I'm a Canadian citizen who has no ties left in Canada, having lived here in the US for close to 10 years, which is ironic, so it's not like i want to go 'home'). I have just 3 weeks left to defend & turn in my thesis, and I need to be solid for at least that length of time. I still don't know what this means.. just that I've spent some time this evening applying to jobs. I'm going to hang in here. I think it will be ok, whatever happens. It really can't get that much worse. Everything's up in the air, so why not the job sitch too? Ha ha.

posted February 25, 2009 08:24 PM            

*sigh* I know what you mean about the crying spells.. just had one today. Even though you try to steel yourself to let go, esp. when it may be the only thing to do, it is pretty darned hard changing feelings & habits ingrained in you over many years, overnight. I might as well have been married to him, for the intensity of all that passed between us - it feels like we've been through a lifetime's worth of crap just in this one, and shared lifetimes' worth of love. I guess I need to do this for my own growth, so I will do it.. Plus, life's given me some new issues to distract me (see my update post just above).

Thank you for being supportive, hon!
Sunshine

posted February 25, 2009 09:48 PM            

What a sweet video (the cat & the fawn snuggling), and what an inspiring Zen tale.. You are a real sweetheart! I was LOL at work today about the Inspiration poster!

I actually have a stellium in Cappy - Sun, Moon, Mars & Mercury - how very original, right? My Venus in Pisces that aspects like 5 or 6 planets in my chart is what gets me into trouble, especially with her squaring my Sagittarian Neptune sitting in my AC - I'm way too idealistic in relationships, and tend to drop everything to run to anything or anyone wounded/suffering, to my own detriment. The Neptune in my AC also makes for a nebulous sense of self that tries to be everything to everyone - whatever they need, I can be that. Every few years or so, I have to take time out to try to figure out who I am. I guess it's that time now, with this big relationship change - the Universe saw that I wasn't going to do it on my own, so S/He gave me a big ol' nudge.

I mean, seriously, did God/the Universe really think I wasn't going to do it myself??!! Come ON! I'm graduating, my job's shaky, my love life turbulent.. I SWEAR, I was going to do some 'figuring me out' on my own!!
Don't believe me? (Methinks the Universe ain't listening)
Ok, fine, we'll do it Your way.

I think also, perhaps my chart's hit with something right now. I haven't looked at the progs/transits recently. This feels so Saturnine, but I don't believe it can be - I just got all the way thru a rocky Saturn Return 2 years ago. But then, when I had my birthday last month, I told a LOT of people I was shaving 2 years off my age, so perhaps the Universe decided on a do-over of the Saturn Return? That would SO not be funny. I thought I'd passed the test? Maybe not.. I'll post up my chart to prove it, at least astrologically.

Sorry I'm rambling on.. sometimes I just can't stop talking/writing..

Mel, I am a BIG believer in LOA, the Secret, Conversations with God.. for YEARS, in fact; it totally goes with my nature which is usually overwhelming positive despite setbacks. - Which is another reason why all of this stuff caught me off-guard.. He and I have spent many years willing this to happen, though we've each also spent time being fearful of other outcomes or having defeatist attitudes. I figured it was the fear that didn't allow us to manifest this - gosh, I've sworn up & down to the Universe that if only we could be together, we could and WOULD do SO much good together for others, that I would turn it into so much more than just a couple getting to be together. I mean, I'm no good to anyone all sad & mopey, and I doubt he would be either.. So, I still hope, thanks to a couple lovely knowflakes here who've been so very generous with readings for me, that someday we will get the chance.. I just think and believe in positive outcomes - they can inspire people to be the best they can be (unless they make people stagnate a bit - such as I did last year, which is why I'm given these "growth opportunities" these days).

*sigh* I will stop rambling - I've forgotten what my point was.. maybe I was just responding to you, Mel, and got totally side-tracked. Or maybe I'm just expressing random thoughts.. it seems to help sometimes.

posted February 25, 2009 09:55 PM            

Thank you for stopping by, dear one! I think I will have to listen to some angry-type music, because I find if I'm not careful & ever-watchful of my thoughts, my thoughts wind up drifting into memories of our times together from last year, which make me sad & get those crying spells started.

I've stopped listening to any music that would remind me of the good times, and am trying to listen to jazzy tunes or any new songs really, that have no associated memories, so I welcome suggestions! I liked Denise van Outen's voice in the song vid you sent..

posted February 25, 2009 10:07 PM            

Yes.. I wish I didn't feel like such a drama queen with the latest update, but life has tossed me a few more challenges.. It's like some kind of trial by fire or something, and I guess it's meant to spur me into more sober thinking & planning for the future, and a bit less worrying about him - more incentive to let go of things for now!

Thank you so much for your kind words, and for the reading, honey - it moved me how well you were able to read into hidden aspects of the situation despite my apparent inability to go into the details. It gives me hope.. and I'm going to keep my head through the latest set of challenges, because I just know that better times are ahead and that I will come out of this stronger..

posted February 25, 2009 10:52 PM            

You're an inspiration and you're in my thoughts. I admire your strength... it seems to have gotten you far in life.

I can't believe that all of this is happening to you RIGHT NOW! Geez, when it rains, it pours. Cliche, but so true.

posted February 25, 2009 11:18 PM            

Wow.

posted February 26, 2009 12:12 PM            

When you meet The One, if you are lucky enough to meet that person, you do not have to ask, "Is this The One?" You will know.

Through the years, who we are, and what we become, our personal needs and goals, changes. To find The One, who would compliment us throughout our journey, is certainly a challenge. At a given point in time we can meet a soul who compliments our journey at that point, but will it last?

A beautiful, educated, female client in her 20's, asked me about meeting The One, meaning her Soulmate. She looked at me and said, "Ellie, I'm The One, not a guy!" You find The One when you find yourself, by healing and creating balance. The One refers to the Union of Self, finding balance, and high self esteem. The One is your soul, divided by the barriers of Time and Space, above and below, feeling naked and alone in third dimension and struggling to find the answers to age old questions...Why am I here? What is my mission?

We are genetically encoded to seek The One, the feeling growing stronger as consciousness evolves. The One, as your Twin Flame, is your polar opposite, yin / yang, the balance aspect of your soul who makes you feel complete and waits in higher frequency for soul reunion often guiding your path in third dimension. This reunion comes at Zero Point Merge when your consciousness returns to its natural state of light.

While in physical reality, young people search for The One most of their lives.

Middle Age people still seek that person, but their goals with that person have changed.

Older people still seek a companion, The One become less a person of 'passion' and more about 'compassion.'

The One is linked with many aspects of Love: Spiritual [pure consciousness connection], Physical [passion], Romantic [feeds the heart and fantasies], Emotional [understands and fills our many needs], Mental [growing together and sharing new choices]

Do you think you have found The One?

Have you found, then lost, The One?

Do you have something to release connected to The One?

Have you concluded that you will never meet The One? When you say that, are you saddened by the thought?

If you do not meet The One, will you settle for another?

Can you be alone and not be lonely? Does being alone scare you?

Do you long for romance and passion?

Do not look for The One. Live your life. Embrace the moment. Be kind and caring.

If The One for you is out there, and you are BOTH ready, you will attract each other by synchronicity, no other way.

Link: http://www.crystalinks.com/theone.html

posted February 26, 2009 01:38 PM            

But then you realize days later that you HAD to leave! That you were meant to have a certain experience and time of growing and someone you loved was meant to have a certain experience and time of growing and the new relationship that two of you had with others and with each other would never have come about without that night you were apart. (and I ended up not writing the letter hehe)

There is some passion that you are meant to put in that paper to add to that thesis. Use this energy and do it. Just put in ALLLL in there! Dig deep!!!!! And rest when you need to and take time out when you need to and just keep putting one foot in front of the other.

I remembered something else to feel better. Have a few bites of something sweet to get the temporary sugar rush (not too much, you don't want a crash) and then "learn something". It boosts the mood. (So, does a quick walk, but hey, this is the lazy way... hehe )