posted April 27, 2009 11:08 AM            

Some interpretations:

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# a relation between people; (`relationship' is often used where `relation' would serve, as in `the relationship between inflation and unemployment', but the preferred usage of `relationship' is for human relations or states of relatedness); "the relationship between mothers and their children"
# a state of connectedness between people (especially an emotional connection); "he didn't want his wife to know of the relationship"
# a state involving mutual dealings between people or parties or countries
# kinship: (anthropology) relatedness or connection by blood or marriage or adoption
wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

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Most people seem to understand "realtionship" as a "long-term union"

Passion often dwindles with time = not possible to sustain it in a "long-term union"

I realize all that. Still. I prefer to believe that it is possible. I guess I'm just setting myself up for a disappointment... although maybe re-discovering passion for one another is what can constitute lasting passion.

posted April 27, 2009 11:55 AM            

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Passion often dwindles with time = not possible to sustain it in a "long-term union"

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Whether true or not, if I keep reading that (in womens magazines) I will believe it.
I have seen plenty of relationships which discount that statement. Others which re-inforce that statement too.

posted April 27, 2009 01:42 PM            

If we confine ourselves to people who arouse us only mildly, all we're doing, imo, is avoiding meeting our own extreme emotions. A person we're crazy about can help us get in touch with buried, controlled emotions. Once those feelings and behaviors come to the surface, we can analyze the dysfunctional ones and learn to experience and express them in a new way. I don't want to miss out on experiencing all the parts of myself.

posted April 27, 2009 01:54 PM            

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If your passion allows you to say that he's your very best friend, that you talk about everything, and that you prefer his company over your other friends, then I'd say you're alright being passionate.

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posted April 27, 2009 02:23 PM            

The Taurus and I have been together 7 years. A couple years in, we had a 6 month separation that, at the time, I believed would be the end for us.

I used to think I didn't have faith in love lasting. When working through our isses to get back together I realized that, even worse, it wasn't lasting love that I didn't have faith in, but love itself. Because once I accepted real love as a possibility, I could feel how I loved him and how he loved me, and that anything that would happen from that moment was right. If we split up, something that I had feared happening so much that I initiated the break-up, it would be becuse it was best for our paths in life. The relationship's end wouldn't be love's end.

posted April 27, 2009 02:52 PM            

No, seriously though, it just sounds so unromantic.

posted April 27, 2009 03:24 PM            

I guess I have to also clarify that from my POV passion is not restricted to the sexual/physical aspect of the relationship.

posted May 21, 2009 07:50 PM            

I tried to come back to this thread the next day, but that was when this folder became inaccessible. I usually have a tough time being prompt, and there I was, being good, and it was something outside me obstructing me. Hmph, why I never!

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The balance of friendship and passion is what I can't figure out how to do. Does it just happen? Does it come easier to some people? What level of emotional maturity is necessary for it? Or is it just luck, a divine spark that is beyond any one person's control?

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Personally, passion comes easily to me as long as I feel emotionally bonded with someone. If my emotions are excited, so is my body and I'm pretty easily set off. By that, I mean just a look will turn me on. Or not being looked at will turn me on. Anything can trigger me! I think I get this from my Moon-Uranus square. (But I assign so much to that one aspect, so who knows!) And then friendship comes easily because of my Venus-Chiron-Jupiter cnj Mars grand trine, and my Moon-Neptune trine.

I see this topic as tying in with AG's "Conceptions" thread over in LLC.2 (and its discussion about talent and potential). Are some of us wired in a way that satisfying love relationships are within our reach, while others can never attain that?

Personally, I think we all have the potential to love in a way that's true and satisfying to who we are. For example, if you want passion & friendship in the same relationship, then along with that desire you also have the potential to have that.

But I do think that some of us are wired in a way that makes achieving our brand of love easy, while some are wired in a way that makes it more challenging. That wiring is luck, imo. They say trines are lucky and I usually think of that as meaning that from trines flow good things, but it can also be viewed that having that trine in the first place is lucky. It's sorta like teaching a man how to fish, because with that trine he can make good things come forth with little effort. He can make his good luck.

I don't think challenging aspects doom us from success though, just that we have a journey to go through before things click and we understand how to use our resources to get what we want. I can see how my sister is working out her Venus-Neptune square.

Our challenges aren't always easily identifiable hard aspects though. My Moon-Uranus square has absolutely caused me problems, but just as much of a hurdle has been Saturn in my 11th house, my Cappy Venus, and my Sco Asc with its ruler in my 12th house. I would always hold a piece of myself apart, and keep up walls that I never let anyone pass. So that took a little work to overcome . I think with work even the parts of our chart that are now barriers to love (or anything else) can become tools that enhance our experience of love. I can easily see how all those barriers I listed are also things that make love feel so precious to me now, and tools that keep love strong.

posted May 21, 2009 07:58 PM            

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That's why I advocate being passionate about life as individuals. We should not look to the other person to provide passion and the other elements that comprise a relationship.

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I agree. I think this is why I like workaholics. I like when someone has a passion that's completely independent of me. It can feel like a burden when someone relies on you/love as the sole source of all that is magical and exciting in life. (Of course, this doesn't preclude turning each other on, as well.)

aqua/scorp -

posted May 26, 2009 09:21 AM            

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Personally, passion comes easily to me as long as I feel emotionally bonded with someone. If my emotions are excited, so is my body and I'm pretty easily set off. By that, I mean just a look will turn me on. Or not being looked at will turn me on. Anything can trigger me! I think I get this from my Moon-Uranus square. (But I assign so much to that one aspect, so who knows!)

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Anything can trigger my passion too. The catalyst is always the same though - if I am not completely head-over-heals for the other person (Sun tightly conjuncts Neptune) it doesn't happen. I tend to idolize love and my love subjects so when I fall, I fall hard.

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And then friendship comes easily because of my Venus-Chiron-Jupiter cnj Mars grand trine, and my Moon-Neptune trine.

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Interesting. I'm very cautious about friendships and the few ones I maintain usually last for many, many years. I'd like to think they are forever but still take them one day at a time.

quote:

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I see this topic as tying in with AG's "Conceptions" thread over in LLC.2 (and its discussion about talent and potential). Are some of us wired in a way that satisfying love relationships are within our reach, while others can never attain that?

Personally, I think we all have the potential to love in a way that's true and satisfying to who we are. For example, if you want passion & friendship in the same relationship, then along with that desire you also have the potential to have that.

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I like this idea - we all have the potential and the capacity to handle what comes our way or what we attract - whichever you prefer to believe. Isn't this straight from the Bible too?
You also have the potential to make a choice. How you make that choice is governed by all kinds of external and internal factors. Sometimes the lessons are in the wrong choice and sometimes they are in the non-choice. It's hard to gauge that. How do you do it? How do you know?
And when you say you just know, how do you know it's not your ego playing tricks on you?

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But I do think that some of us are wired in a way that makes achieving our brand of love easy, while some are wired in a way that makes it more challenging. That wiring is luck, imo. They say trines are lucky and I usually think of that as meaning that from trines flow good things, but it can also be viewed that having that trine in the first place is lucky. It's sorta like teaching a man how to fish, because with that trine he can make good things come forth with little effort. He can make his good luck.

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Teaching a man how to fish? OMG, that was funny )) (my dad is an avid fisherman, he was born with a fishing rod in his hands)

Nice theory about the wiring.
So it doesn't come down to free will then? It's just fate and luck?
Mmmm. Sounds like it is really delicious aspect. And really boring if ease is not what you are after.

I think I set myself up for disappointment because I am subconsciously repeating patterns in my parents relationship. Sad, but it has proven to be true with time.

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I don't think challenging aspects doom us from success though, just that we have a journey to go through before things click and we understand how to use our resources to get what we want. I can see how my sister is working out her Venus-Neptune square.

Our challenges aren't always easily identifiable hard aspects though. My Moon-Uranus square has absolutely caused me problems, but just as much of a hurdle has been Saturn in my 11th house, my Cappy Venus, and my Sco Asc with its ruler in my 12th house. I would always hold a piece of myself apart, and keep up walls that I never let anyone pass. So that took a little work to overcome . I think with work even the parts of our chart that are now barriers to love (or anything else) can become tools that enhance our experience of love. I can easily see how all those barriers I listed are also things that make love feel so precious to me now, and tools that keep love strong.

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Challenging aspects can totally frustrate and discourage you though. It is hard to have faith and when things are not going the way you believe they should be, your faith gets a blow after a blow. It takes a lot of nursing and soul nurturing (for me) to get back to my happy place.

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What in your chart do you think shows a challenge with combining passion and friendship? I'd love to see your chart. Writesomething's too, to see what inside her prompted this poll.

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posted May 26, 2009 01:01 PM              

quote:

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Personally, I think we all have the potential to love in a way that's true and satisfying to who we are. For example, if you want passion & friendship in the same relationship, then along with that desire you also have the potential to have that.

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what about all those people who thought
they were wired to win american idol?

i think we frequently have dreams,
often implanted/programmed by the culture,
which are well beyond our grasp.

I'm "wired" to dream of being a genius.
So, do you think genius is necessarily in me?

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I disagree. I'd get bored and neglect a relationship with someone I'm not crazy about.
If we confine ourselves to people who arouse us only mildly, all we're doing, imo, is avoiding meeting our own extreme emotions. A person we're crazy about can help us get in touch with buried, controlled emotions. Once those feelings and behaviors come to the surface, we can analyze the dysfunctional ones and learn to experience and express them in a new way. I don't want to miss out on experiencing all the parts of myself.

For me, it's about passionately wanting someone, while also being devoted to what's best for him as someone separate from me. Desire + loving friendship.
...

So I guess what I'm saying is that in a relationship, it's not just passion and loving friendship that's needed, but a loving faith in life. Once I had that faith, I experienced my passionate feelings for him differently: instead of fearing his loss, I celebrate his presence. And the thing is - I don't know if I would've gotten to this point with someone who I wasn't so crazy about. It was those feelings that helped me experience life like this.

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posted May 26, 2009 09:49 PM            

quote:

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what about all those people who thought
they were wired to win american idol?

i think we frequently have dreams,
often implanted/programmed by the culture,
which are well beyond our grasp.

I'm "wired" to dream of being a genius.
So, do you think genius is necessarily in me?

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Oh c'mon, you make me sound like Jiminy Cricket. Ok, ok, I made myself sound like Jiminy Cricket.

As I was typing the word "desire", in another part of my head I was hearing Salieri in "Amadeus" cursing God for giving him the desire for musical greatness but not the tools to reach it. I thought what I was saying might sound as if I was speaking against the possibility of unattainable goals (which I wasn't), but I was lazy and didn't take the time to better articulate what I meant. So thanks for bringing that up.

I meant "desires" in the sense of actively expressing identity. I'll use astrology to explain. Venus is love, so Venus wants to love and be loved. Venus wants to exist. Mars is energy and self-assertion, so Mars wants to exist by expressing what he is. And so on with all of who we are. We have a true self, and we want to live it.