posted November 13, 2003 05:11 PM         

The man who owns my heart, we have very special, very loving bonds, but there are difficulties, one of which is significant distance.

A while ago I was playing around with his name, his first and last name, doing some lexi's. And I discovered that contained in HIS first/last names, are MY complete first AND last names! (with the exception of one silent 'e,' and Linda grants you a little wiggle room with that.) I was shocked...and I'm wondering what weight would you give this? Is it significant in determining the potential seriousness of our relationship?

Also contained in his name are some of the following, I will substitute 'she' or 'her' for my full names:

she IS THE ONE
she IS ME
IN her I AM ONE
she IS MINE
I STOP her--NO! she IS ME
IN her I AM ME
I RESIST her
NO MILES TO her--I CROSS MILES TO her
IS THIS SIN? NO, she IS MINE
she IS THE MOST TO ME
she IS MORE TO ME

His name meets the necessary criteria for Lexi's, and I have more things at home that I lexi'd from his name, I'll post them later.
I realize this looks like I'm looking for validation, but I truly would like to know what you all think of this, what the significance is. I would like to believe that he and I have a true shot, and emotionally we certainly do, there are other things that will take work...

It just seemed special, to me, that my name should be so entwined in his...

posted November 13, 2003 09:24 PM         

Didn't Linda point out in Star Signs that "Osiris" contains within it "Isis". I remember when I first read the lexigram chapter years ago. Of course I immediately lexigramed my name, my friends' names, names of people that just interested me. One of them was Thomas Jefferson.(Since childhood I've had a wee bit of a fascination with Thomas . I've had several strange dreams about him...) I noticed right away that his wife's name was tucked away inside of his.

A "learned and considered opinion" this surely is not. And by no means am I a lexi expert. But for whatever reason I felt compelled to reply. So, for what it's worth, yes, I do think it means something. I do think it is special.

A significant distance is a heavy cross to bear though, isn't it? But certainly no reason to doubt. It's only Mountains and the Sea, after all.

posted November 13, 2003 09:55 PM         

Dreams about Thomas Jefferson? Interesting! Care to share?

I think I may have phrased my original post poorly--I think All of the lovely souls here in LL have learned and considered opinions. We find these things not only of interest, but they are secrets unlocked from the universe.

I peeked at my notes tonight, when I orinally did this lexi, and also found:

COME TO her, TELL HER, THIS IS PRECIOUS, THIS IS US, THIS IS PRISTINE
IN her IS REST
IN TIME
COME TO OUR SOUL
her SOUL IS ME
THIS IS NOT LOST
COME TO THIS, CROSS MILES TO her
THIS IS TRUE
THIS PLUS IS US
she HELPS ME.
THERE IS MORE TO her, THERE IS MORE TO US, NOT LUST
I REST IN her.

posted January 11, 2005 01:42 PM         

So I've been thinking about this Lexi again. Oh, like any foolish female I suppose I'm holding out false hope...

It just seemed so significant to me, at the time. Like a revelation, and epiphany. Say, for instance, that my entire real name is TRILLIAN GRACE. My entire real name, to be lexi'd from his, except one silent E! It seemed like such a sign...after all, how often does that happen? And with all the other things lexi'd from his name.

*sigh* Thanks for allowing me a place to vent. I'm just a little sad again. Today is the day that transiting Mercury/Venus conjunction is exaclty conjunct my natal Moon/Jupiter in the 5th house so I am feeling a bit wistful. Most of you know me well enough to know that I am a very strong woman...but still... I will miss him so much.

posted January 11, 2005 02:25 PM         

I know just how you feel. Even us strong ones get wistful.....strongly even. I've been there. It's amazing when you have these epiphanies and then, down the road things change and it's hard to understand why.
You know things could - WILL actually, change. Maybe he will come back or maybe you will see everything in a new light down the road and take the relationship for everything it was. I'm sure you will, and already do. You are changing too, and what you miss today will be different tomorrow.

It's good to vent. Especially when you are having a transit to your moon. So I wont give you anymore advice, because I know you, and whatever I could say, you already k-NOW. You wise elf.

Another thing, I'm sure he will miss you so much too. How could he not?

Just wanted to let you know that I hear you.

The best is yet to come. You'll see.

posted January 11, 2005 03:34 PM         

Just because you will not grow old and die together does not necessarily mean it didn't "mean something". Everything has its end - be it death or otherwise. Those are hard words, huh? Even harder to live through. Obviously, this is a man who meant the world to you. I've no doubt you meant a whole lot to him too. That means something. That is a matter of great consequence. 26 is right. You are a wise elf. You know this.

But hey, occasionally, even this cynical ole' scorp falls prey to the and-they-lived-happily-ever-after-syndrome. *sigh* It's what chicks do.

Now I am going to send back to you a beautiful gift, all wrapped up with ribbons and bows and love. A gift that you gave to me a while back ...

posted January 11, 2005 07:23 PM         

And Tink, my cynical sister

I don't mean to be so whiney. Just a low vibe day for me. He and I have been back and forth on this...in a little while I'll be able to step back and be more philosophical. In a little while...

I don't know if the future holds more for us. It's possible..."there is a light and it never goes out..."

He is an ordinary man who is extraordinary to me. He doesn't even like cats! We are so different but when together...it was just really, really good.

But you're right, Tink. All things end. Hard words? Sure, when something ends before you want it to. But they are true words. And I will be fine. It's not tragic... just a little sad and a little raw.

posted January 11, 2005 09:01 PM         

Wise words Tink.

posted January 11, 2005 09:30 PM         

In the meantime, what cures a miserable turn of events better than a damn good cry? The tears wash you clean.

posted January 12, 2005 11:10 AM         

I've had too many blessings to feel sorry for myself for too long. And I feel blessed to have known him; every moment, even the rough ones, will always be treasured. If it's really done this time I will still count him as one of my greatest blessings.

You are both wise and special ladies and I feel honored to call you friends. I hope the Universe does something nice for you today.

posted January 12, 2005 10:32 PM         

Bless all of you

posted January 14, 2005 05:37 AM         

the sadness of being apart from one you love is tragic. i'm sorry for your pain. please know that you are surrounded with love and let that love soothe and soften your heart for awhile.

true love always will find you.