posted August 27, 2011 08:17 PM            

GOLDILOCKS AND THE THREE BEARS

THIS IS NOT THE GIANT-KILLER’S TALE, NOR A RED-HOODED GIRL’S. RATHER, THESE GENTLE SCENES DESCRIBE ONE OBSTINATE, GOLDEN-HAIRED LASS AND AN AGREEABLE BEAR TRIO.

LONG, LONG AGO IN A COTTAGE BENEATH THE COOL, GREEN OAKS, THERE BODE THREE BEARS. ONE, A GREAT BIG BEAR, ONE A SHE-BEAR, AND ONE A LITTLE BEAR.

THE BEARS HAD A NEAT AND CLEAN COTTAGE; RED ROSES, AND TALL GREEN GRASS STOOD NEAR THEIR BIG DOOR.

TOGETHER, THE BEARS HAD THREE CHAIRS TO SIT IN; THE GREAT, BIG BEAR HAD A TALL, HIGHBACK CHAIR; THE LITTLE BEAR HAD A LITTLE ROCKING CHAIR; AND THE SHE-BEAR HAD A SHORT, GOLDEN-SILKEN CHAIR.

ALSO, EACH HAD A DISH TO EAT IN; BIG BEAR HAD A LARGE, IRON-STONE DISH, THE SHE-BEAR HAD AN ELEGANT GLASS DISH, AND THE LITTLE BEAR HAD A LITTLE RED DISH.

IN THE ATTIC, EACH HAD A BED TO REST IN; THE GREAT BIG BEAR’S BED HAD A LARGE HEADBOARD; THE SHE-BEAR’S BED HAD A LARGE END-BOARD; AND THE LITTLE BEAR’S BED HAD NO BOARDS AT ALL.

IN THE KITCHEN, THE GREAT BIG BEAR CLEANED THE GREAT, STONE HEARTH. NEAR THE HEARTH, THE SHE-BEAR CLEANED THE LONG, DARK TABLE. ON THE LONG, DARK TABLE, THE LITTLE BEAR SET THEIR BEST DISHES. ON THE HEARTH, SHE-BEAR SET A BIG BLACK KETTLE.

THE BEARS, THEN, HAD THE COTTAGE ALL IN ORDER.

SOON, THE BEARS HAD HOT OAT CEREAL READIED TO EAT. THE SHE-BEAR GOT THE TEA KETTLE, CARRIED IT TO THE TABLE AND SAT IT ON THE BENCH. LITTLE BEAR TASTED THE CEREAL. “THIS IS TOO HOT!” THE SHE-BEAR AND THE BIG BEAR TASTED THEIR OATS, TOO, AND AGREED, “IT’S TOO HOT. LET’S GO TAKE A SHORT HIKE TO LET IT COOL.” THE SHE-BEAR SAID, “IT’S GOOD TO HIKE ON THE HILLS NEAR THE LAKE!” THEREON, ALL THREE BEARS STOOD AND RAN TO THE HILLS.

ON THE HILL’S OTHER SIDE NEAR THE GREAT OAKS, BODE GOLDILOCKS. THIS ANGELIC-LOOKING CHILD, THIS GOLDEN-HAIRED LITTLE GIRL IS, IN CONTRAST TO HER LOOKS, NOT A NICE KID. TAKE NOTE: ALL THE OLD TALES ERRED – SHE IS A LITTLE, BLONDE BRAT AND SHE DELIGHTED IN BEING HORRID. (SHE ALSO BIT OTHER CHILDREN AND STOLE THINGS.)

RETICENT, HER ELDER SENT HER ALONE ON AN ERRAND.

SHE STRODE IN THE TREES AND NOTICED A LITTLE CABIN IN THE OAKS. SHE LINGERED NEAR THE GLASS. SILENT AS A CAT, SHE LISTENED AT THE DOOR. “AH, THERE IS NO ONE TO BE SEEN!” IN A HOT SECOND, SHE BROKE INTO THE BEAR’S CABIN, AND CLOSED THE DOOR BEHIND HER. NOT BEING SENSIBLE OR REASONABLE, THIS DISHONEST LITTLE GIRL SET TO LOOKING AT THE BEARS THINGS.

SHE TASTED THE CEREAL IN THE GREAT BIG BEAR’S DISH AND SAID, “THESE OATS ARE TOO HOT!” SHE TASTED THE SHE-BEAR’S CEREAL AND SAID, “THESE OATS ARE TOO COLD!” THEN SHE TASTED THE OATS IN THE LITTLE BEAR’S DISH. “THIS CEREAL IS NEITHER TOO HOT, NOR TOO COLD. IT IS SO RIGHT!” SHE LIKED IT SO, THAT SHE ATE IT ALL AND LICKED THE LAST DREGS.

ONCE SATED, SHE GOES INTO THE DEN. SHE SAT IN THE BIG CHAIR AND SAID, “THIS CHAIR IS TOO TALL!” SHE SAT IN THE OTHER CHAIR AND SAID, “THIS CHAIR IS TOO SHORT!” THEN, SHE SAT IN THE ROCKING CHAIR THAT THE LITTLE BEAR LIKED, AND SAID “THIS CHAIR IS NEITHER TOO TALL NOR TOO SHORT, IT IS SO RIGHT!” SHE SAT AND ROCKED, AND ROCKED, AND THEN ROCKED HARD. SHE ROCKED ‘TIL THE CHAIR BROKE. “EEK!” SHE CRIED. “AH, DANG! HA, HA, HA!” SHE SAID, RATHER THAN BEING CROSS. THIS BAD LITTLE GIRL DID NOT CARE.

GOLDILOCKS SNEAKED INTO THE ATTIC AND NOTICED THREE BEDS. STARTING TO GET TIRED, SHE DESIRED TO REST AND DIGEST THE OATS. AT ONCE, SHE LAID ON THE BIG BED, AND SAID “THIS BED IS TOO HIGH AT THE HEAD!” THEN, SHE LAID ON ANOTHER BED, AND SAID “THIS BED IS TOO HIGH AT THE END!” SHE LAID ON THE LITTLE BED, AND SAID “AT LAST, THIS BED IS NEITHER TOO HIGH AT THE HEAD, NOR AT THE END. IT IS SO RIGHT!” AT THAT, SHE STRETCHED BACK INTO THE LITTLE BED, GATHERED THE BLANKETS NEAR HER, AND STARTED TO SNORE.

AND THERE SHE LAID.

THE BEARS HAD A NICE HIKE IN THE HILLS: SING-SONG BIRDS IN THE CEDAR BRANCHES, ROCKS NESTLED IN THE BROOK, RED HEATHER ROLLING ON THE HILLS. THE SHE-BEAR CONSIDERED THAT THEIR CEREAL HAD COOLED, SO THE BEARS HIKED BACK TO THEIR COTTAGE.

ONCE THERE, THE GREAT BIG BEAR NOTICED HIS GREAT BIG DISH AND ROARED “ANOTHER HAS BEEN EATING THESE OATS!” THE SHE-BEAR LOOKED AT HER DISH, AND CRIED “OH, DEAR! ONE OTHER HAS BEEN EATING THESE OATS!” THE LITTLE BEAR BEHELD HIS DISH, AND NOTICED THAT IT HAD BEEN LICKED CLEAN. “A RAT HAS BEEN EATING THESE OATS, AND HAS EATEN IT ALL GONE!” SHRIEKED THE LITTLE BEAR.

THE THREE BEARS, SEEING THAT A SNEAK HAD ENTERED THEIR CABIN AND EATEN LITTLE BEAR’S OATS, BEGAN TO LOOK HERE AND THERE.

IN THE DEN, THE GREAT BIG BEAR BEHELD HIS CHAIR AND ROARED “ONE OTHER HAS SAT IN THIS CHAIR!” THE SHE-BEAR NOTICED HER CHAIR, AND CRIED “ANOTHER ONE HAS SAT IN THIS CHAIR!” THE LITTLE BEAR NOTED HIS CHAIR AND SHRIEKED “A GIANT SAT IN THIS CHAIR AND GOT IT ALL BROKEN!”

LITTLE BEAR, HEART-BROKEN AND ALL IN TEARS, CRIED, “BOO HOO! I LIKED THAT CHAIR!”

THE BEARS REASON THAT A SEARCH IN THE ATTIC IS IN ORDER.

THE GREAT BIG BEAR BEHELD HIS BED, AND ROARED, “ANOTHER ONE HAS LAID IN THIS BED!” THE SHE-BEAR BEHELD HER BED AND CRIED, “ONE OTHER HAS LAID IN THIS BED!” THE LITTLE BEAR LOOKED TO HIS BED, AND THERE IS GOLDILOCKS. “A LITTLE BLONDE B!TCH HAS LAID IN THIS BED,” HE SHRIEKED, “AND SHE’S STILL HERE!”

IN HER REST, GOLDILOCKS HAD HEARD THE GREAT BIG BEAR’S ROARS. SHE HAD BEEN SO ALTOGETHER TIRED THAT, TO HER, IT HAD BEEN LIKE THE DISTANT TIDE ON THE SEASHORE. SHE HAD HEARD THE SHE-BEAR’S CRIES AND, TO HER, IT HAD BEEN LIKE THE COOK’S CLATTER IN A KITCHEN. AT LAST, SHE HEARD THE LITTLE BEAR’S SHRIEK, AND IT HAD BEEN SO SHRILL THAT IT STIRRED HER AT ONCE!

SHE STARTED, AND BEHELD THE THREE BEARS ON ONE SIDE NEAR THE BED, STARING AT HER LITTLE GOLDEN HEAD. SHE RECALLED THAT SHE HAD RANSACKED THEIR NICE, CLEAN CABIN, AND GOT SCARED NEAR TO DEATH.

SHE TOSSED THE BEDDING AT THE BEARS, SLID TO THE BED’S OTHER SIDE AND RAN TO THE DOOR. SHE RAN TO THE TREES. SCARED LITTLE GOLDILOCKS RAN AND RAN BACK TO HER COTTAGE.

DID SHE GET BEATEN, AS SHE HAD BEEN A BAD GIRL (AND BACK LATE, TO BOOT)? NO ONE CAN TELL. THE THREE BEARS, INDEED, DID NOT SEE HER AGAIN.

SNICK – SNACK – SNOOK,
THAT’S THE BOOK!

posted August 28, 2011 01:16 AM            

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Originally posted by dysfunctionalmystic:
A nice find

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posted August 29, 2011 10:11 AM            

Goldilocks And The Three Bears
http://www.inneryou.info/goldilocks.htm

posted December 01, 2011 09:42 AM            

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“A LITTLE BLONDE B!TCH HAS LAID IN THIS BED,” HE SHRIEKED, “AND SHE’S STILL HERE!”

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Hahah, lucky she didn't get eaten.

posted January 10, 2013 06:04 PM            

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Originally posted by Randall:
This is pretty remarkable. Have you done any other fairy tales?

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