posted March 24, 2005 08:35 PM              

Sex at noon taxes.
Sex at my gym taxes.
Sex often: I met foxes.
Sex-aware era waxes.
Six ate nine taxis.
Sex Alert: "Ella, my mallet relaxes!"
See referees
See, we prefer pewees
Sela Ward did draw ales
Selma, I am Les
Seen knees
Sh! Tom sees moths.
Sis, ask Costner to not rent socks "as is"!
Snug all L.A. guns!
Slap my gym pals.
Sleep on no peels.
So, camera solos are MacOS?
Solo gigolos.
Solos
"Some deer fees!" I say as I see free demos.
Son, I sack casinos!
Spay dogs as God yaps.
So, Mama, I won--now I am Amos!
So I dare to Ned, "Denote radios!"
Stack cats
Star comedy by Democrats
Star sees rats
Sue, yes, God's dogs eye us
Stella won no wallets.
Step on no pets.
Swap for a pair of paws?
Swap paws.
Swen nixes sex in news.
Straw warts

posted March 24, 2005 10:29 PM              

The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison
was a small medium at large.

posted July 20, 2005 12:24 PM              

quote:

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A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would
result in Linoleum Blownapart.

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posted March 03, 2008 09:25 AM            

7. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.

posted July 29, 2014 01:58 AM            

A prime example is his song "Bob", which consists of rhyming palindromes parodying Bob Dylan's "Subterranean Homesick Blues".

posted July 29, 2014 02:57 PM            

In Verse.

Are they all esses up there?

And I do wish you would please quit teasing me.

I Love Weird Al.

posted July 30, 2014 09:33 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ellynlvx:

I Love Weird Al.

Only wish I could watch *cries copious tears*

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Here's a couple stills from the video for you... *windows leaking with laughter*

posted September 01, 2014 05:39 AM            

Bet RA would have a field day with it.

quote:

---

"Bob Dylan's 115th Dream"

I was riding on the Mayflower
When I thought I spied some land
I yelled for Captain Arab
I have yuh understand
Who came running to the deck
Said, “Boys, forget the whale
Look on over yonder
Cut the engines
Change the sail
Haul on the bowline”
We sang that melody
Like all tough sailors do
When they are far away at sea

“I think I’ll call it America”
I said as we hit land
I took a deep breath
I fell down, I could not stand
Captain Arab he started
Writing up some deeds
He said, “Let’s set up a fort
And start buying the place with beads”
Just then this cop comes down the street
Crazy as a loon
He throw us all in jail
For carryin’ harpoons

Ah me I busted out
Don’t even ask me how
I went to get some help
I walked by a Guernsey cow
Who directed me down
To the Bowery slums
Where people carried signs around
Saying, “Ban the bums”
I jumped right into line
Sayin’, “I hope that I’m not late”
When I realized I hadn’t eaten
For five days straight

I went into a restaurant
Lookin’ for the cook
I told them I was the editor
Of a famous etiquette book
The waitress he was handsome
He wore a powder blue cape
I ordered some suzette, I said
“Could you please make that crepe”
Just then the whole kitchen exploded
From boilin’ fat
Food was flying everywhere
And I left without my hat

Now, I didn’t mean to be nosy
But I went into a bank
To get some bail for Arab
And all the boys back in the tank
They asked me for some collateral
And I pulled down my pants
They threw me in the alley
When up comes this girl from France
Who invited me to her house
I went, but she had a friend
Who knocked me out
And robbed my boots
And I was on the street again

Well, I rapped upon a house
With the U.S. flag upon display
I said, “Could you help me out
I got some friends down the way”
The man says, “Get out of here
I’ll tear you limb from limb”
I said, “You know they refused Jesus, too”
He said, “You’re not Him
Get out of here before I break your bones
I ain’t your pop”
I decided to have him arrested
And I went looking for a cop

I ran right outside
And I hopped inside a cab
I went out the other door
This Englishman said, “Fab”
As he saw me leap a hot dog stand
And a chariot that stood
Parked across from a building
Advertising brotherhood
I ran right through the front door
Like a hobo sailor does
But it was just a funeral parlor
And the man asked me who I was

I repeated that my friends
Were all in jail, with a sigh
He gave me his card
He said, “Call me if they die”
I shook his hand and said goodbye
Ran out to the street
When a bowling ball came down the road
And knocked me off my feet
A pay phone was ringing
It just about blew my mind
When I picked it up and said hello
This foot came through the line

Well, by this time I was fed up
At tryin’ to make a stab
At bringin’ back any help
For my friends and Captain Arab
I decided to flip a coin
Like either heads or tails
Would let me know if I should go
Back to ship or back to jail
So I hocked my sailor suit
And I got a coin to flip
It came up tails
It rhymed with sails
So I made it back to the ship

Well, I got back and took
The parkin’ ticket off the mast
I was ripping it to shreds
When this coastguard boat went past
They asked me my name
And I said, “Captain Kidd”
They believed me but
They wanted to know
What exactly that I did
I said for the Pope of Eruke
I was employed
They let me go right away
They were very paranoid

Well, the last I heard of Arab
He was stuck on a whale
That was married to the deputy
Sheriff of the jail
But the funniest thing was
When I was leavin’ the bay
I saw three ships a-sailin’
They were all heading my way
I asked the captain what his name was
And how come he didn’t drive a truck
He said his name was Columbus
I just said, “Good luck”

Copyright © 1965 by Warner Bros. Inc.; renewed 1993 by Special Rider Music

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posted September 20, 2014 05:10 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Randall:

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It's Pretty Funny.

Even Dylan cracks up...